Every single day we're given opportunities to grow and enjoy life more! (Even in a pandemic.)

Years ago, a woman wrote that she'd been married for 25 years. Her husband had cheated on her more than once and she'd “lost” herself and hardly recognized her home or her person. (Could be the way some of us feel because of COVID.)

But it's never too late to change your life! This woman had successfully raised two happy sons and worrying about what her husband did and not focusing on the important job she was doing, could very well have given him (in his dishonest mind) a good excuse for the affairs. Focusing on getting her act together and not worrying about him, could have erased that excuse he probably used; "My wife's fat and the house is a pigsty." 

When someone is unfaithful it's his/her problem. It’s only OUR problem if we make it ours.

When I got organized in the late seventies, I decided to keep it a secret from my husband, kids, parents and best friend. I’d read that when you want to make an important transitional change in your life, keep it to yourself and wait for “them” to come to you and say, “What’s happened to you?” or ”You seem happier and you’re always on time lately, what’s up?”

What I discovered by keeping my mouth shut on my plans was I had more energy! There was a certain excitement in “my secret.” Also, those closest to us have heard us talk about needing to change, wanting to change and planning to change, so to make a chronic announcement, “This year, I’m going to get organized,” “lose weight” or “budget and get out of debt,” your friends and family are liable to say, “Yeah, sure Martha, what’s new?”

I also think there is power in sharing your intentions with those who have the same goal. I’m so thankful for the platform I've been able to create so we can help each other and share our triumphs as well as our failings. I’m just talking about keeping it a secret from our loved ones, until the results start to show up.

Very frequently I hear from SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executive) lamenting that they wish they'd used the SHE 3x5 get organized system for home and family earlier. My answer is always the same, you weren't ready and until you're ready you won't use it. It's interesting to find out how much these precious women have achieved in spite of their disorder! It's testimony to how talented we SHEs really are. Here's an excerpt from "The Joy of Being Disorganized" that conveys this thought.

Going through my archives, I found a whole bunch of blogs I recorded for those who like to listen while they work. (While listening to this one, you could be productive with your hands, like clean out a drawer, fold a load of laundry or clean out your purse.) I called these blogs "Young at Heart." This one's about my disorganization when it comes to taking care of maintenance on my car. I hope you enjoy it! I have more if you enjoy listening, so let me know. 

Every single day we're given opportunities to grow and enjoy life more!

A woman wrote that she'd been married for 25 years. Her husband had cheated on her more than once and she'd “lost” herself and hardly recognized her home or her person.

It's never too late to change your life! This woman had successfully raised two happy sons and worrying about what her husband did and not focusing on the important job she was doing, could very well have given him (in his dishonest mind) a good excuse for the affairs. Focusing on getting her act together and not worrying about him, could have erased that excuse he probably used; "My wife's fat and the house is a pigsty." 

When someone is unfaithful it's his/her problem. It’s only OUR problem if we make it ours.

If you’re a person who has a history of disorganization, you’ve probably had your share of putting yourself down for it.

When you’re late (that's just a habit), you’re embarrassed and you set yourself up for dirty looks and eye rolls from those who’ve had to wait for you or maybe your lack of time awareness has caused you to miss the last flight out, or the buss to someplace you wanted to be. When you trip in the dark over stuff you left out in the light (that's just a habit), it can mean a trip to the ER and a self-condemning sermon all the way to the hospital. When you run out of gas (that's just a habit) and you’re late to work, you pour more gas on your talent for beating yourself up than you put in your car’s tank.

When you bump up against something caused by your disorganized habits, ask yourself what baby step you might take so this bump can get smaller and smaller and in time, disappear? Get yourself into the 21-Day Game. Pick one thing to do for 21 days remembering you’ve got all the time in the world to change anything you want to change. (The 21 days is just a segment of time in which a habit is established.) Don’t put pressure on yourself. This is just a game you're going to play. There’s no contest here. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. Your reason to change something is so that you'll feel good because of it.

Bury the Hatchet

When it comes to getting organized, the real starting place is to make amends with you. You have to bury the psychological hatchet you’ve been holding over you for all your past misdemeanors. Give yourself a break! You’re the only one who can do it, and all it takes is an apology. Tell yourself:

 I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you when things are disorganized. You are my best friend and I love you so much. I love how much I do in spite of being disorganized. Look how beautiful the yard is! I’m a great cook and I don’t waste food. I’m doing so much right and everything is fine. I want to be more organized and I’d like to start by going to bed every night for the next 21 days at 9:30 at the latest. That’s all. Just a plan that will give me more rest for 21 days.

Going to bed at a regular time may not be the activity you choose to do for the 21- Day Game (it’s a good one if you’re not getting your rest) instead, it may be to shine your sink, make your bed, floss, walk for 30 minutes, get dressed before breakfast instead of before lunch or dinner, meditate for 20 minutes—you pick what feels right and do it. But pick something now.

...you're ready to have one. If you don't live in an organized home, it means one thing, you weren't ready to get organized. Most of us want an organized home, but many struggle with disorganization because we can tend to build it up in our minds that it's a huge undertaking. It's really not. 

When every room is HOURS or DAYS away from "company ready" and I HAVE BEEN THERE, it can easily be overwhelming and in that state of mind we can freeze, bust out of the place or retreat under the covers. All those actions make things worse.

I’ve thought a lot about that feeling of being overwhelmed and I know it’s a state of mind based on true facts and circumstances. But the good news is states of mind can be changed even when the true facts and circumstances haven't. In fact if you’re overwhelmed by a messy house, obesity, indebtedness, an inharmonious marriage, whatever, you have the power to change your mind right now. In fact that’s what needs to happen. But how do you change your mind when you're in the middle of a huge mess, not just in one room but every room?

Very frequently I hear from SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executive) lamenting that they wish they'd used the SHE 3x5 get organized system for home and family earlier. My answer is always the same, you weren't ready and until you're ready you won't use it. It's interesting to find out how much these precious women have achieved in spite of their disorder! It's testimony to how talented we SHEs really are. Here's an excerpt from "The Joy of Being Disorganized" that conveys this thought.

When I got organized in the late seventies, I decided to keep it a secret from my husband, kids, parents and best friend. I’d read that when you want to make an important transitional change in your life, keep it to yourself and wait for “them” to come to you and say, “What’s happened to you?” or ”You seem happier and you’re always on time lately, what’s up?”

What I discovered by keeping my mouth shut on my plans was I had more energy! There was a certain excitement in “my secret.” Also, those closest to us have heard us talk about needing to change, wanting to change and planning to change, so to make a chronic announcement, “This year, I’m going to get organized,” “lose weight” or “budget and get out of debt,” your friends and family are liable to say, “Yeah, sure Martha, what’s new?”

I also think there is power in sharing your intentions with those who have the same goal. I’m so thankful for the platform I've been able to create so we can help each other and share our triumphs as well as our failings. I’m just talking about keeping it a secret from our loved ones, until the results start to show up.

There’s a huge difference between a drastic transformation and change that takes place as gracefully and gradually as a baby turns into a toddler. But when we’re fed up with our old ways we tend to want an instant and dramatic fix. That’s what impatience is all about. Take weight for example, we want the weight to come off faster than we put it on. We get frustrated with a loss of just one pound in a week, yet if we gained a pound a week, we’d gain 52 pounds in a year. I don’t know anyone who’s done that and you probably don’t either.

If you’re like me, you tend to have that notion: All or nothing at all. When we want to get organized usually we’ve come to a place where every room is laced with chaos. When we decide to fix our finances it’s when the power’s been shut off or we max a few credit cards and sink into financial depression. When we want to lose weight it’s usually because we’ve let it go so long that our pants hurt and we’re scared to get on the scale. We’re sort of like the frog that stays in the water as it is heated to boiling and cooks to death, only we don't cook to death, we snap.