I remember when I was a young mother there was a public service announcement on television that would come on around ten at night and the guy would say, “Do you know where your children are?” I remember thinking, ‘Duh, how could good parents not know where their children are?’ (Recently I found out my son was often not where he said he was, but [ahemm] that’s not what I’m writing about.) I was interested in one of Flylady’s musing about “dreaming” of getting out of her childhood home as soon as she could and that she realized that getting out of that house only changed her physical location.
Somebody (it was either Shakespeare or Harrison Ford) said, “You take yourself with you wherever you go.” Hey wait a minute, I said that! It’s true and that’s what Marla did. She got out and took herself with her. Only until she realized that the only way to feel loved was to finally love herself was she able to make peace with her past and be happy.
Everything we can see, touch, hear, taste and smell is outside of us and we make judgments with our five senses about everything in our lives. If we don’t like what we see, hear, taste, touch or smell we have the power to change any of it and judging by the volumes of you-can-change-your-life books on the market (mine included) our society is certainly trying to do just that. The problem with self-help books is they won’t work if you don’t know yourself very well. “Do you know where your child is?” Ah, back to why I’m writing this.
Unless you know and understand that there is and always will be your inner child who has been with you from your birth and remains fresh as the freckles on a red headed five year-old, you'll look out into the world with your five senses to find love. It’s not there! When you stop looking for love in all the wrong places, i.e. the mall, Burger King, Sarah Lee, Old Mister Boston, etc. and cast your attention on that inner child who waits for you to connect, you won’t see your dreams come true. When you’re able to lavish love on you by making an inside connection you’ll find the love you’ve always been looking for.
Remember the nice and beautiful witch in The Wizard of OZ? She told Dorothy that she had the way home all along. Home, my sweet darlings is YOU. And you have had the way all your life. Find YOU. Love YOU. And watch what happens.
Flylady wrote: We have the ability now to get to know our little child within us. We have neglected that child for a long time. Like any child they are going to get your attention one way or another. We have let her run wild in the streets with our credit cards. She has neglected to clean her room and to eat good foods. She stays up way to late and doesn't get enough sleep! This makes her cranky. Oh and she spends way too much time on the computer and doesn't get enough exercise. Do you know anyone who would allow her children to do this? So why do you allow yourself to do this?
We may not be able to reclaim our childhoods but we can practice loving ourselves as we love our children. Gentle guidance and a reward system can help you retrain that little child in you! You can feel loved! It's as easy as 1, 2, 3! Simple habits, strung into routines with a little decluttering can build a foundation of peace in your life!
Love,
P.S. Almost everyone is looking for peace and joy in their lives. My latest book The JOY of Being Disorganized can help you find those qualities where you are in life right now.