I hope you read Part 1 yesterday on ways to stop being a loser. The losers I wrote about here in Part 2 take a little more thought.
When You Lose Someone You Love, Give it Time
Being this kind of a loser is not the same as losing a poker game or leaving your coat on a plane. You know the saying Time Heals all Wounds? It’s absolutely true, if you’re a person who doesn’t hold grudges and has learned how to let go. You know as time passes, you’re given grace. Knowing that those you’ve lost because they’ve passed on are just different and not where you can touch, see and hear them, takes time to know. Knowing doesn’t happen; you have to grow into it.
My parents have passed on and I lost my sister Peggy, to a rare genetic disease that has affected her adorable personality. I haven’t spoken to her in 12 years. She was my only sibling, my co-writer, my confidant, my best friend and business partner, so when this disease took over, for a few years it seemed I’d lost five of the most beloved people in my world. What I’ve grown in knowing is that I’m with her almost on a moment-to-moment basis when I write. I know her so well and I know she’d love and laugh at what I’ve done in her absence. I feel the same with my parents. I feel closer and closer to them the older I get.
Help Police! Someone Stole My Purse!
Okay, I suppose you have to know how that happened. I returned a grocery cart in the store parking lot where I’d bought groceries and left my purse in that place where you put a toddler while you shop. It contained my check book, prescription sunglasses, a fancy pen I love and my wallet with about $50 in cash, a $250 gift card, my credit card and debit cards, plus my driver’s license, SS card, Red Cross donor card and a bunch of personal membership-type cards.
I got all the way home before I discovered my loss. I raced back to the store and one of the grocery carriers had found it. I was so relieved! But when I took hold of it, I realized something was wrong….it was too light. Everything was in it except for the wallet. I was grateful for that, but I still had to deal with wallet loss.
I quickly took care of reporting the theft to the police and cancelling the bank cards and gift card, but I still felt the loss of $50. Losing something because somebody stole it from you, makes for a very interesting type of loser. I felt like a victim and that’s something I refuse to ever be! Loser? Fine! Victim? Never!
From Victim to Benefactor in a split second
I had to ask God to help me with this. The first thought came to me in the form of a question:
Would you give a person $50 who needed it?
Of course I would!
The person who took your wallet is none of your business. I’ll take care of that situation, but you need to stop feeling like a victim. How ‘bout if you change that feeling into the feeling that you are a benefactor?
In that instant, I was able to cast unconditional love on the person who took my wallet. (I can still feel that love now as I write this.) I felt such compassion waft over me, that I got tears in my eyes as I spoke to the person with my heart.
I love you! I hope the money helps you and blesses you and your family. Thank you for returning my purse.
I luxuriated in the most exquisite joy and was healed of feeling like a victim. (Three days later, the wallet was brought to my bank by an anonymous woman who told the banker she found it in her mailbox. It had EVERYTHING in it except the gift I’d given.)
Thank you for reading my essay. I hope if it helped you in any way you’ll share it with someone who might be helped.
P.S. For more thoughts on happiness and joy you might want to read my latest book