Every single day we're given opportunities to grow and enjoy life more! (Even in a pandemic.)

Years ago, a woman wrote that she'd been married for 25 years. Her husband had cheated on her more than once and she'd “lost” herself and hardly recognized her home or her person. (Could be the way some of us feel because of COVID.)

But it's never too late to change your life! This woman had successfully raised two happy sons and worrying about what her husband did and not focusing on the important job she was doing, could very well have given him (in his dishonest mind) a good excuse for the affairs. Focusing on getting her act together and not worrying about him, could have erased that excuse he probably used; "My wife's fat and the house is a pigsty." 

When someone is unfaithful it's his/her problem. It’s only OUR problem if we make it ours.

It’s no secret that countless families are deluged by household clutter.

While I was ill for four months, I was thankful to myself for having a clutter-free home. A home free of clutter is soothing and helps in recovery. This is a blog I wrote several years ago giving an excerpt from my book, "The Joy of Being Disorganized."

Flylady says; “The most common clutter hot spots are children's bedrooms, home offices, attics, and garages.” What does it take to create a clutter-free space? Here are my 10 best home organization strategies straight from my book, The Joy of Being Disorganized.

1. Stop Clutter at the Cash Register

Use that, waiting-to-buy time when you’re standing in line at the cash register, to re-think what’s in your hands or cart. Imagine it as clutter. What you buy today can turn into clutter tomorrow. The better you are about keeping things out of your home, the less likely you’ll be to fill it with stuff that doesn't server you.

2. Stop Homelessness

One of the main reasons stuff piles up on counters, dining tables, coffee tables and floors is that it’s homeless. When an item has no "home," it gets added to an IPOD
 (Important Pile Of Decisions). The free chapter I'm giving you has great information about the IPODs in your home and how to eliminate them. That’s why it’s important to make sure everything in your home lives somewhere. “Homing” items in the room where they're used, helps ensure that they get put away when you're finished. For example, I keep a sewing kit in a drawer of an end table in my living room, because I like to mend garments in that room and not in my sewing room in the basement.

3. Baby Step your Way to Clutter-free

Start with the room that’s bothering you the most. (In my 44-year career helping moms get organized, the kitchen is the room most picked by baby-steppers.) Marla Cilley, the Flylady
says, “Start by shining your kitchen sink.” That’s so brilliant! In order to keep your sink shiny, you have to keep it empty. In order to keep it empty, you and your family have to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. In order to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, it has to be empty!

Very frequently I hear from SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executive) lamenting that they wish they'd used the SHE 3x5 get organized system for home and family earlier. My answer is always the same, you weren't ready and until you're ready you won't use it. It's interesting to find out how much these precious women have achieved in spite of their disorder! It's testimony to how talented we SHEs really are. Here's an excerpt from "The Joy of Being Disorganized" that conveys this thought.

Let happiness come from you before you seek others to make you happy.

I love this quote by Abraham Hicks. Happiness is just a string of happy moments. But most people aren't aware of the happy moments, because they're too busy trying to have a happy life.

Children's existence is a string of happy moments. My 3 year-old great grandson came over to our house with his mother, the other day and almost the entire time he was here he was happy. We adults did any distracting him away from his happy play, mostly to minimize messes and keep him safe. Children have a natural desire to have fun and as we grow up, we douse our happiness with being adults. 

What's exciting to me is, we can be adults and follow all the adult rules, but that child in us can help us be aware of the happy moments that bombard us every day. June is filled with potential happy moments just waiting to be had, but if we get too busy, too adult, the happy gifts of June will be gone and then there'll be July to miss. 

I met Nelly in 2002. She’s my inner child and constant companion, I discovered that keeping in touch with Nelly helps me catch lots of those happy moments, and when a few hours go by and I haven’t heard from her, I do as any mother would do; I check up on her. 

I might ask myself, “Is something bothering you little girl? You don’t seem very happy right now.” If I’m still and listen, I’ll get an answer that would've remained unexpressed had I not questioned myself.

When children are ignored, whether they are real or within, they want attention and they will get it.

How would you like to attend a funeral for the death of your credit cards? That was my goal in 2002, when I faced $26,000 in credit card debt. I’d fallen victim to the lure of fake ownership and the do-it-now-pay-later trap! I’d been having real financial difficulty because my sister was ill and I falsely looked at my credit cards as income, hoping she’d get better and we’d be back in business! I wrote all about it in "The GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt."

It was during that time that I got real familiar with the “voice” behind my spending behavior. If you are suffering from credit card debt, ask yourself this question: "How old have I been acting to be in the predicament I'm in? My answer to that question was, "nine years old!"

Please Attend an Official Credit Card Funeral

I actually had a funeral for my credit cards because I mourned their death and I wanted closure. They’d become friends that payed me when I didn’t have the money to get what I wanted. Flylady attended, joined by her husband, Robert, who is a real judge and who officiated. So not only did I get the funeral, it was official! And there’s more!

My husband videotaped it! I decided at the time, I should open the funeral up to other mourners and allow them to officially bury their credit cards and the rest is not only entertaining and enlightening it’s history! Don't miss this video.

5 Decluttering Questions!

Imagine this: You fill a big suitcase (the one that always weighs more like 55 pounds when you check it at the airport) and, while it's still summer, you cram it with all the fall and winter clothes you didn't wear last year. Probably many of the garments haven’t been worn in several years. If you haven’t worn a garment in the last year, what makes you think a year from now you will?  

If you did this, you'd lose 55 pounds of clothing that was otherwise clogging your closet and if the suitcase is an old one that's probably seen its last flight, you could drop the whole, thing off at Goodwill, You'll feel 55 pounds lighter spiritually! Clutter is the biggest destroyer of peace and decluttering closets, cupboards and drawers brings a peace that money can’t buy!

It was summertime when I got organized. I was 34 years old and I'd hit bottom. Someone said, “The bottom is a great place to be because there’s nowhere to go but up.” Not until I hit bottom did I surrender to my situation and ask for the guidance that’s available 24/7. That’s when miracles happen. In that moment of surrender I was reminded that even though I was in a mess, I was in the right place with the right people, I was just fine and the only element I really lacked was direction. Following a direction is a spiritual issue.

In my 43-year career helping moms get organized I’ve come to one big conclusion about being organized: it’s about mind management, not time management. There are thousands of books giving you direction, but until your mind is changed the direction won’t be followed.

Before you read the 7 things to think about when it comes to getting organized, I’d like you to pretend I’m one of your guardian angels and you've prayed to get organized and I’ve been assigned to work your case. I love the assignment because I’ve always loved you and to work with you personally is exciting to me!

So, I’m sitting on your chest when you wake up in the morning and I can’t wait to see you open your beautiful eyes so we can start our fabulous day together. But you’re so tired, you miss the joy before you. I should have known that’s how it’d be because you played on the computer until 2:00 am and every time I tried to get you to go to bed, you ignored me. 

When you finally went to bed, I wished you a wonderful night’s sleep, but you didn’t hear me because you conked out before I was finished talking to you. Anyway, now it’s morning and you stagger to the bathroom, tripping over shoes you left in the pathway to the toilet. (I was able to block your fall.) By the way, I love to hear you swear! We don’t get to do it here in heaven, so it’s fun to hear (sort of like when you first tried out a swear word when your mom wasn’t close enough to hear).

As your days progress I try to get a few words in edgewise. Little suggestions like, “Look at your calendar Love,” “Get a drink of water Sweet One,” “That job won’t be that bad, put your timer on for 15 minutes and start Darling,” “Don’t take that comment personally, what he thinks of you is none of your business,” oh and “God loves you,” “I love you,” and “Please be kind to yourself Blessed One.” 

Sometimes you listen and take my guidance, but most times you just don’t hear me or you say, “I’m too busy, too tired or I don’t have time. (I really get a kick out of that last one!  I wish you knew how funny you are when you say, “I don’t have time.” LOL My Adorable One, you have all the time in the world.)

All day, every day I am there and I’ve watched you struggle with this lack of direction for years and years. Your team of angels has led you to the House Fairy and Club Organized and it’s because of us you read, if or when you read Sidetracked Home Executives, and The Joy of Being Disorganized. But I can’t really help you until you let me. Until then I just have to wait, but remember I have all the time in the world too and there is no pressure. 

Mind you, while I wait, I keep myself busy. I’m here to love you and surround you with light which is a fulltime job. Oh, and I’m constantly on the lookout for things that’ll make you laugh, get you to dance, sing and play because when you’re busy enjoying your life you are one with God and that joyful energy lights up the planet.

By the way, you are here to enjoy the ride and I’m like your personal tour guide with wings. Now you can read Pam’s 7 things to think about.

Love,

Your Angel

You are Your Own Best Teacher

If you're a good sleeper, could you teach another person the best way to fall asleep? Probably not, because drifting off to sleep is unique to each person. Terry says I fall asleep within four or five minutes from the moment I put my head on my pillow. If I tried to impose my falling asleep techniques on you I would be remiss. 

Only you can figure out the best way to fall asleep. Sure I could give you some suggestions like, don’t have a television set in your room, turn off the lights and don’t have any electronically glowing digits announcing the exact time, but as far as the ritual that will put you to sleep, it has to be yours alone.

I could not fall asleep in the nude (I’ve tried it and every time, I’ve ended up putting pajamas on.) Mind you I didn’t say nightgown. I can’t sleep in nightgowns because the thought that it will end up all bunched up around my sweaty armpits by morning keeps me awake. I have to have pajamas on and the waist can’t be too tight and I don’t like button up tops because the buttons get between my breasts and bug me.

Is it Time for a New Bathrobe?

Revised from a blog in 2016. If you clip on that movie clicker deal you can listen to this blog.

I decided it's time for Terry and me to get new bathrobes. Mine is 20 years old and I bought it at a garage sale. It’s heavy and comfy and if I write too much about it here, I’m apt to talk myself out of dumping it. (Maybe I should keep it as my winter robe. On some of those cold winter nights I've found such refuge in it. I also feel spiritual in it sometimes, because it has a hood and when I put it over my head, I feel like St. Francis. Okay, okay it’s going in storage until November when my winter sweaters and coats come out of waiting.

Terry’s robe is another story. It is downright scary! It’s blue plaid velour and after the first washing it lost most of its “lour” and because the arms were too long he cut them off and insisted I didn’t need to hem his alteration project. So I didn’t, leaving the ends frayed in strings that grow longer with every washing.

The thing is, I never think to go bathrobe shopping and only when I’m pampered with a luxurious white terrycloth robe in a fancy hotel do I think it’s time to spring for a new “morning” look.

A Saint and a Blue Man

Terry and I have changed our routine this year and I don’t shower, dress and make the bed first thing in the morning anymore.

Have you HAD it with your disorganized life? 

No matter how old you are, it's never too late to get out of your mess. 

I was 34 years old when I hit bottom. Someone said, “The bottom is a great place to be because there’s nowhere to go but up.” Not until I hit bottom did I surrender to my situation and ask for the guidance that’s available 24/7. That’s when miracles happen. In that moment of surrender I was reminded that even though I was in a mess, I was in the right place with the right people, I was just fine and the only element I really lacked was direction. Following a direction is a spiritual issue.

In my almost 42 year career helping moms get organized, I’ve come to one big conclusion about it: it’s about mind management, not time management. There are thousands of books giving you direction, but until your mind is changed the direction won’t be followed.

Angel Speak

I’d like you to pretend I’m one of your guardian angels and you've prayed to get organized and I’ve been assigned to work your case. I love the assignment because I’ve always loved you and to work with you personally is exciting to me!

So, I’m sitting on your chest when you wake up in the morning and I can’t wait to see you open your beautiful eyes so we can start our fabulous day together. But you’re so tired, you miss the joy before you. I should have known that’s how it’d be because you played on the computer until 2:00 am and every time I tried to get you to go to bed, you ignored me. 

When you finally went to bed, I wished you a wonderful night’s sleep, but you didn’t hear me because you conked out before I was finished talking to you.  Anyway, now it’s morning and you stagger to the bathroom, tripping over shoes you left in the pathway to the toilet. (I was able to block your fall.) By the way, I love to hear you swear! We don’t get to do it here in heaven, so it’s fun to hear (sort of like when you first tried out a swear word when your mom wasn’t close enough to hear).

As your days progress I try to get a few words in edgewise. Little suggestions like, “Look at your calendar Love,” “Get a drink of water Sweet One,” “That job won’t be that bad, put your timer on for 15 minutes and start Darling,” “Don’t take that comment personally, what he thinks of you is none of your business,” oh and “God loves you,” “I love you,” and “Please be kind to yourself Blessed One.” 

Sometimes you listen and take my guidance, but most times you just don’t hear me or you say, “I’m too busy, too tired or I don’t have time. (I really get a kick out of that last one!  I wish you knew how funny you are when you say, “I don’t have time.” LOL My Adorable One, you have all the time in the world.)