Does your mouth get you into trouble more than any other hole in your body?

Your mouth is pretty important. You use it to communicate and it’s really your means for survival! No wonder it’s such an important hole! How do you manage yours on a scale of one to ten? There are two indicators of your successful use; the number of friends you have and the size of your body (and I don’t mean tall or short).

When I lost 35 pounds six years ago, I set up elaborate ways to reward my good behavior. I knew my inner child Nelly had (she still does), a sweet tooth and unless I kept her happy, I
would not succeed with my goal of losing the 35 pounds. In The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here! I give the reader ways to play with her inner child in a fun-loving way to get the results she wants with losing weight and this blog is a great resource: http://blog.makeitfunanditwillgetdone.com/lose-weight-fast 

You can’t get a person to do anything unless that person wants to do it and that includes yourself. How many times have you wanted to lose weight and then some part of you sabotaged that desire and you ate what you said you wouldn’t? If you’re like me, you’ve been on many diets and probably attended a few Weight Watcher meetings. But unless you commit to staying with a weight-loss program, you’ll gain it all back and then some.

I still dream about desserts and buffets loaded with delicious dishes high in carbohydrates.

How to REALLY clean the cabinet under the kitchen sink

Do you clean the cabinet under your kitchen sink once a month? Happiness is a clean kitchen, but the old saying, Out of sight out of mind can really be true when it comes to this cabnet. If your knees had eyes, they'd see under the sink when the cupboard was open and you’d be down on them with a bucket of sudsy water and a brush at least once a month to clean under there.

This is not an April Fool's joke, I really did this! I decided to show you how to clean under the sink and to prove to you how clean my cabinet was, I got into it! Actually when we shot this video Terry didn’t think I could fit in the cabinet, and I wasn’t about to let him think that! The rest is history. 

15 Negative Words to Ignore to Be Happy

So many of you resonated with my blog, (A Daily Routine to Deal with a Cranky Hubby) on living with a critical person, that I thought I should write a little more, since I lived with a very unhappy and critical man for 15 years and received advance studies in the field.

Aristotle said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”  Hmmm that sounds fun! Let’s all go into comas!

The truth is we women have been dealing with criticism most of our lives. We’ve been conditioned to not rock the boat. We want to be liked and throughout history a woman’s life depended on it. Many of us don’t voice our ideas or pursue our most important work because of our fear of criticism. We don’t take risks or speak our truth because we’re afraid of criticism and dependent on praise. The truth is, whenever we look outside of ourselves for validation, we’re looking in the wrong place and if we allow anyone to cause us to doubt our ability to succeed, it’s our own fault. That was the main reason I wrote The Joy of Being Disorganized. I wanted women to understand their value in spite of being disorganized. 

Turn a deaf ear to negative words

I decided to look up the negative words our society uses to describe women, especially in the workplace. For example, if a man forgets things easily he’s called an absent minded professor. If a woman is forgetful she’s called a ding bat. Here are the words used to describe women and what I came up with to describe men who exhibit the same characteristics.

Hormonal

Both men and women have hormones, so why don’t we ever hear someone say of a man who has just thrown a temper tantrum, “He’s hormonal.” But it’s commonly used to describe a woman’s outburst and especially in conjunction with PMS (which my sister’s husband thought was an airline). 

Running a clutter-free, efficient household requires energy and a consistent desire to follow some kind of simple plan. A plan that directs your days and establishes a routine and habits that serve you, not drag you down. But it’s very hard to follow any plan if you’re down in the dumps. So if you want to stay on top of things, being happy is crucial. 

What if you had a meter that measured whether you were flying high or sinking into despair? You really do. It’s just invisible to the eye, but you can always stop and “check in.”                     

For an example, where would you rate yourself right now. Are you more happy than sad? Are you more anxious than content? Are you more angry than loving?

There’s really little guesswork in knowing how you feel, because you’re wired to know in any given moment. Unfortunately it’s so easy to ignore the signals. We can get so busy we neglect taking time to check in with what’s going on inside.

Establishing a habit of checking in with yourself is such a powerful tool. Take a few minutes daily to be still. You can learn so much from your body. It’s constantly telling you what you need and what is or is not working. But if you don’t listen, if you don’t pause to hear those messages, you’ll be missing out on the most valuable information you’ll ever receive.

If you think you’re going to have a stressful day, checking in with yourself on the hour could really change how your day goes. It helps to talk to yourself and comment on the moods you catch yourself in. Often, I’ll say, “Well aren’t you a happy girl!” Or, “Hey little one, what’s wrong? What’s up with the sadness?”

You have the power to be mindful of how happy and content you are and when you feel yourself going down, there are four things to ask yourself before you head for the tavern, the chips, the candy or the pill bottle:

An important part of being organized is being prepared. BO (born organized) women are always thinking ahead, especially in the kitchen. They know the value of hors d’oeuvres when it comes to men.

Men are weird when they’re hungry (especially tall ones). I learned that truth early in my marriage to Terry and we’ve been married 26 years. When we were first married and it was dinner time he used to always be ravenous and, quite frankly, I didn’t like him when he was that way. He was six feet, three inches of uncontrollable hunger and he’d drive me nuts as I worked in the kitchen!

He didn’t act mean or cranky like some men do; he just acted like he’d skipped his meds if he were supposed to take some. He’d sort of be a combination of Kramer (in the sitcom Seinfeld) and Barney Fife (in The Andy Griffith Show) on speed. He’d dart around the kitchen trying to get closer to the pending meal. He’d find difficulty concentrating and our kitchen just wasn’t big enough for both of us, when he’d be famished.

A famished man definitely acts differently than a famished woman. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Swanson didn’t name their large-portioned TV dinner, Hungry Woman Dinner, even though an average lady can put one away with no problem. No one addresses the idea of a hungry woman because, quite frankly, we never are. That’s because we snack.

From the time we’re youngsters; we spend more time in the kitchen and therefore have more access to food than men do unless they’re cooks or chefs. If we women work outside of our homes, we carry with us snacking patterns gleaned from generations of female snackers. I’d bet that more business women have snacks in their drawers at work than men do. And men don’t have purses (a natural snack pouch) in which to tuck treats.

I think if Terry thought he could get away with it, he’d barge into the kitchen, from a snackless day at the office and head straight to the nearest open container of food. He’d wolf down the main course right over the frying pan and slop the sauce de jour all over the front of himself. He’d cool his burnt tongue in a stream of cold water from the kitchen faucet and continue his dishless forage leaning over the sink as he crammed. He’d stuff his already packed mouth with a variety of miscellaneous edibles within reach and wash the remaining side dishes down with a pot of soup he’d missed in his initial culinary attack on the kitchen. He wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t think, he wouldn’t even taste, but he’d be full. It would take about five minutes.

So what’s the answer? Hors d’oeuvres! That thought hit me right between bites one night while I was fixing dinner. I suddenly realized something that could ultimately save 75% of couples who think they want to divorce, from the agony of disillusionment. (It might have even salvaged my first marriage, but that was too long ago to even think about. I’d decided I was going to apply it to my new husband.)

Men love hors d’oeuvres!

Would you like to be happier in your marriage? 

For 15 years, I was in a very unhappy marriage. My husband was an extreme critic and I gave him plenty to criticize. I was disorganized, our three kids were disorganized and the house was buried in clutter.

I lost my joy until a minister gave me the most remarkable exercise to practice that allowed me to avoid being affected by this cranky man’s emotional issues! But the exercise did way more than that.

In our session together (I really only needed one to get me on track), I wept and shared how miserable I was because of HIM. I spewed my well-rehearsed criticism of HIS faults all over her office. Her response, “You are so lucky!” How could she say something so absurd? LUCKY? Give me a break! Well actually, she did give me a break.

If I'd been with an easy going man who didn't mind the mess, I never would have done the soul searching and growing that I was fortunate to do, and I never would have written any books to help others. Sometimes it blows my mind that if I didn't go through what I went through, there wouldn't be Flylady and you wouldn't be reading this blog.

(By the way, if you'd like to get organized just enough to please you, read my latest book, The JOY of Being Disorganized. It'll change the way you see your disorder, but more important, it'll change the way you see yourself.. 

That minister went on to tell me to imagine I had secured my spot in an elite training course that I should take full advantage of. “Every time HE does something to upset you, it’s the perfect time for YOU to practice letting it roll right off your back and work on your problem of being so disorganized. If you’ll set the intention of being happy no matter what HE does and get to work on your own issues, you’ll acquire one of the most valuable lessons there is to learn in life.”    

What’s interesting about setting an intention of being happy all the time and working on your own issues, is when something tries to pull you from that place, you can kick in and put yourself back on track to being happy and organized. Abraham Lincoln said: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” He didn’t say much about being organized because rumor has it he was quite a messy fellow.

 When was the last time you smiled at yourself in the mirror?

Do your children like to be read to?

Have you heard people say, “The kids today have short attention spans because of electronics and quick-paced television for kids”? It’s true they’re used to watching three to four-second bytes and they enjoy fast-paced computer games, but to date I’ve never met a kid who doesn’t like to be read to. 

As I sat in the Kelso, WA Amtrak station waiting for a train that was 38 minutes late, I watched a grandmother read Curious George to her five-year-old grandson.

From my vantage point, she appeared to be a rather listless reader, void of expression, sound effects and lifted eyebrows accompanying some of Hans’ and Margaret’s incredible thoughts, yet the child was glued to his grandma’s side listening to the story! 

When the book was finished, I thought for sure he’d get up and run around the waiting room, but instead, he pulled another book from his backpack and she proceeded to read it in the same dreary way. The train turned out to be an hour late and the child remained interested in books the entire time. So much for short attention spans and quick-paced actions to keep a child’s attention.

So here are what I believe are 7 benefits of reading bedtime stories to your children.

Now that visual stimulation is served up via television, IPads, IPhones, Xbox etc., children rarely get to tap into their imaginations unless we read to them, or until they can read. As a child, I loved radio (it was before we had television) because my imagination provided the visuals. Because we don’t have kid radio, unless we read to our kids, their ability to use their precious imaginations and be able to visualize will weaken. 

I remember one Christmas, my daughter Peggy bought a bunch of children’s books at a neighborhood garage sale and recorded reading them on a cassette tape recorder for her non-reading cousins as gifts for Christmas. As adults, those cousins still speak of how they loved her gifts of being read to.

My husband Terry and I recorded books on CDs, the same way Peggy did with a cassette recorder. This way our grandchildren could listen to us read the books we gave them as gifts.

2. Creates a Bond

I received this email from a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) and it’s so inspiring I had to share it with you. I think we can take some advice from Heddy and I‘d like to thank her for sharing it with us. I’d love to hear about the fun you’re having! We do need to have more fun!

Dear Pam,

I let my inner child play MOST of the time because "I" never had a childhood.

I figure if all the email forwards from friends are "regrets" about not playing more and worrying too much, and not burning the pretty candle and wearing the special underwear, then "I'M not THAT girl!"

I'm NOT going to wait until I'm old to wear purple and if you haven't read that poem, Google it! [Pam here: Sorry to interrupt Heddy, but I included it in this blog.]

"I DO use the good china and I often eat my dessert first"

I wear my pearls ALL THE TIME, even when I'm jackhammering, or so I was reminded by a
Home Depot employee who looked at me with awe and admiration. I hadn't been aware of it, but I DO use the good china and I often eat my dessert first. I mean, it's NOT just a bumper sticker about life being too short...it IS and I dance in the rain (often naked) because I can. Ok...I'll admit it was on 7 fully fenced and VERY private acres, but hey, it was great when I COULD do it because now that we're living in suburbia it's not likely to happen without me being arrested, so...NO REGRETS! I DID IT! 

And I continue to DO the things that others only wish they could.

The House Fairy not only encourages and inspires your children to clean their rooms and keep them clean...she also helps with good manners. This video might even enlighten some adults you know.

It's so much fun getting to know some of you on a personal basis through the consultations I’m now doing through the summer. I’ve learned so much about how alike we all are in our SHEness (Sidetracked Home Executive-ness). To learn more about a consultation please go to www.cluborganized.com  then to the Get Organized tab.

I recently talked to a very fun-loving and brilliant SHE named Pat, who emailed an update a few weeks after our talk. She has been gracious to let me share her thoughts. 

She said, “I enjoy creating a mess. That's part of the trouble I had a long time ago; I couldn't understand why I should clean up such tiny messes, when it felt so fun to clean up a big mess. Unfortunately, after a while I just kept putting off the cleaning up until it was too big a mess to clean up!”

When I read that comment, it made me think about the Ta Da affect we SHEs love. I thought about what Pat said about liking to make a mess because it’s fun to clean up! I liked it too. I remember when Mr. Cranky (my first husband) would go on the road (he was a traveling salesman) I’d let the house unravel. It was soothing and relaxing to have him gone. He’d be gone four days at a time and that’s enough time to create some very big messes that verged on scary!

Give it up

When my sister and I got organized, we both discovered we had to let go of the need for a Ta Da moment. There’s no Ta Da in a little clean-up, so we have to get used to mini Ta Da moments.

1. If your home is immaculate and running like a well-oiled clock.

2. Your family begs to help with household chores.

3. You’re happy with your weight.

4. You’re wealthy and debt free.

5. You have a team of professional housecleaners who come and clean daily.

6. You are ecstatic with your marriage.

7. Okay, I thought of another one, you’re never late.

If these reasons aren’t yours, read more. Disorganization affects every area of your life; your finances, your health, your relationships, your stress level and I’m sure you can think of more ways it affects your life.

A Little Organization Goes a Long Way

Getting organized just enough to please you, is the goal. The only reason to get organized is so that life doesn’t get in the way of YOU. When you’re disorganized, you let life run you as you stomp out fires caused by your disorganization. But a little organization goes a long way. Just getting in the habit of looking at your calendar every evening and then again in the morning will increase your level of organization tenfold!

What can be discouraging is trying to get organized when you’re in a huge mess and you don’t know
where to start. That’s like trying to waterski under water. If you’ve ever waterskied you know getting up is the part that takes the most effort, but once you’re on top of the water that’s when the fun begins. It’s exactly the same with being organized in your life. Once you’ve established just a few good habits and you get into a routine that serves you, you’ll glide along with ease. It’s the establishing part that takes a little extra effort. 

Where Should You Start?