1. Face the problem in full light

2. Assess what you can do to solve it

3. Create a plan of action

4. Do at least one action every day according to the plan

5. Be patient and persistent

6. Know you’re not alone

1. FACE IT  

It’s never too late to change your life. When you don’t like something in your life you have to be able to illuminate the cause of the problem and what part you’ve taken to create it in the first place. If you can't see your part in the problem, and blame someone else for it, you have no control over the change. You can’t get anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

One divorced woman wrote that she’d been married for 25 years and her husband had cheated on her more than once during the marriage and had ultimately left her for another woman. She said she hardly recognized her home or herself and she blamed him.

Then she realized, in spite of a cheating husband, she’d successfully raised two happy children and she needed to stop worrying about what her husband did and focus on what she was going to do.

She figured he probably felt he’d had a good excuse for the affairs because she’d gained a bunch of weight and was not attractive, she hadn’t had the energy or desire to be intimate with him because of her unhealthy body, the house had gotten out of control and she was a full time homemaker and felt guilty for her shortcomings.

It occurred to her if she were to get her act together, she’d get her life back, her body back and her home back. She didn’t mention anything about wanting to get her ex back. It took her a little over a year to reach her goal and she was looking forward to flaunting her new self (in a size eight, mother-of-the-bride suit) at their daughter’s wedding.

When it comes to finances, we don't always create happy consequences.

Have you made choices in your lifetime that caused not so happy consequences? We all have and that’s how we learn to be more careful as we grow up. (Second marriages, for example, are almost always better than the first ones, if we made a lousy choice the first time).

I recently took a much needed three-day vacation away from home with two girlfriends who are incredibly wise women. Both women are extremely private people. They both gave me license to quote them, but with no names so I don’t get to give them credit for some of their wisdom.

We were having lunch in a beautiful restaurant in Astoria, Oregon when the subject of self-improvement came up. I explained my theory of having fun with my inner child and they both loved the concept. I told about how far in debt I was after my sister retired and left me with a huge company debt. It was a little embarrassing to admit, because both these women are very wealthy and they were shocked at how immature my sister and I had been with our money.

Have you heard about the SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) 3x5 get organized system for your home and life?

For some reason, there has been a wonderful surge of SHEs coming back to using 3x5 cards, and most are Flybabies. One of the reasons is they know (because they tell us) that 3x5 cards are the best tangible way to give you direction, which is the only thing you lack. They also are an excellent tool for delegating.

This from a senior SHE who has come back to the cards:

1. Face the problem in full light

2. Assess what you can do to solve it

3. Create a plan of action

4. Do at least one action every day according to the plan

5. Be patient and persistent

6. Know you’re not alone

1. FACE IT  

It’s never too late to change your life. When you don’t like something in your life you have to be able to illuminate the cause of a problem and what part you’ve taken to create it in the first place. If you can't see your part in the problem, and blame someone else for it, you have no control over the change. You can’t get anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

One divorced woman wrote that she’d been married for 25 years and her husband had cheated on her more than once during the marriage and had ultimately left her for another woman. She said she hardly recognized her home or herself and she blamed him. Then she realized in spite of a cheating husband she’d successfully raised two happy children and she needed to stop worrying about what her husband did and focus on what she was going to do.

She figured he probably felt he’d had a good excuse for the affairs because she’d gained a bunch of weight and was not attractive, she hadn’t had the energy or desire to be intimate with him because of her unhealthy body, the house had gotten out of control and she was a full time homemaker and felt guilty for her shortcomings.

It occurred to her if she were to get her act together, she’d get her life back, her body back and her home back. She didn’t mention anything about wanting to get her ex back. It took her a little over a year to reach her goal and she was looking forward to flaunting her new self (in a size eight, mother-of-the-bride suit) at their daughter’s wedding.

If you have a home-based business (38 million Americans do and $427 billion per year is made by them), or you are a full-time peacekeeper and peacemaker at home, or you’re doing both, this blog is for you.

When you think about it, every institution has its “costume.” Prisons, hospitals, courtrooms, restaurants, car repair shops, beauty salons and the list could go on-and-on. But if you Google, Dress for Success at Home you’ll get a gob of photos of people in offices, outside big city buildings and walking on sidewalks all dressed for success for business outside the home.

Hey, you don’t need to look like a Wall Street tycoon to work at home, but there are some important guidelines for you to follow if you want success and to feel good about your work and yourself. 

When you’re home all day, if you’re not careful you’ll end up in recluse attire! You know, your pajamas. God knows they’re comfortable and cozy and if you don’t have some style boundaries, you could hang out in them for days. That’s probably what’s happened when you see an adult in the grocery store in pajamas. Just remember, this person could be contributing to that $427 billion dollars! 

Actually working at home as a full-time caregiver or an at-home entrepreneur or both, you actually need a wardrobe that changes during the day. Before you panic, the changes are simple, and will save you time, money and peace of mind in the long run.

1.   Pajamas are for sleeping.

Dress in your jammies right before bed as part of your before bed routine. In the morning, get dressed for the next activity which might be exercise, housework, office work, yard work depending on your daily schedule. When you work at home, if you stay in your nightwear, you invariably have that somebody-might-come-over monkey on your shoulder. For your peace of mind, get dressed first thing in the morning.

When you were young, did you try to get answers from daisies by ripping off the petals and saying, “He loves me, he loves me not?” Maiming daisies for answers seems a little cruel but there's another way. Have you ever asked a question and gone to a random book, on a random page for the answer? If you've never done it you don't know what you're missing. 

Right now, I’m waiting to hear whether my project is going forward or not. My patience is being tested, because I’m excited to know. So I picked up a book, I’ve been currently re-reading entitled, Think and Grow Rich, which I’ve had in my library since 1968. I opened the book randomly, to a page and closed my eyes and pointed to a place on one of the pages. This is what it said: Faith removes limitations! Remember this when you are ready to bargain with Life for whatever it is that you ask as your price for having passed this way. Without telling you what the news is about, I will say that these words fit perfectly (which is almost always what happens when I do this) with what I’m waiting to hear.

Have you had it?

That’s how you can feel living a disorganized lifestyle. It's like living in a continual storm. But when you hit bottom with words like the declarations above, you're in the perfect place to change. Someone said, “The bottom is a great place to be because there’s nowhere to go but up.” When you hit bottom you're more willing to surrender to your situation and ask for the guidance that’s available 24/7. That’s when miracles happen. In that moment of surrender you'll be reminded that even though you're in a mess, you're in the right place with the right people at the right time. The only element you lack is direction.

DIRECTION! You can deal with that! Direction involves choices! You just need a map to follow and you'll be fine! For me it was the 3x5 card file system my sister and I came up with and the reason we became known as The Slob Sisters.

When my sister and I had had it with our home organization skills, that’s the first time we considered the word “direction” in reference to our problem. We weren’t lazy! Come to think of it, we worked harder than those BOs (Born Organized) who refuse to make work for themselves by being disorganized.

I knew I wasn't crazy! I'd been able to maintain a high level of creativity within my messy lifestyle, have three happy children, continually adjust to the personality of a very unhappy mate and remain stable.

I wasn’t stupid! Come to think of it, NO! I was very smart though my disorganized habits sabotaged my schooling so my grades didn’t reflect my intellect.

So I wasn’t lazy, crazy or stupid even though my messy life could certainly have made it look that way. When I look back on the way I used to live, the only question I have today is, “What was I thinking?”

As Carolyn Myss would say, “If I can talk Angel 101 to you for a moment, consider this.” Let’s pretend I'm one of your guardian angels and you have prayed to get organized. I've been assigned to work your case. I love the assignment because I’ve always loved you and to work with you personally in an answer to your prayer, is exciting to me!

Your Angel is With You

When you were little, did you try to get answers from daisies like, “he loves me, he loves me not?” Maiming daisies for answers seems a little cruel but there is another way. Have you ever asked a question and gone to a random book, on a random page for the answer? If you've never done it you don't know what  you're missing. 

Right now, I’m waiting to hear whether my project is going forward or not. My patience is being tested, because I’m excited to know. So I picked up a book, I’ve been currently re-reading entitled, Think and Grow Rich, which I’ve had in my library since 1968. I opened the book randomly, to a page and closed my eyes and pointed to a place on one of the pages. This is what it said: Faith removes limitations! Remember this when you are ready to bargain with Life for whatever it is that you ask as your price for having passed this way. Without telling you what the news is about, I will say that these words fit perfectly (which is almost always what happens when I do this) with what I’m waiting to hear.

15 Negative Words to Ignore to Be Happy

So many of you resonated with my blog, (A Daily Routine to Deal with a Cranky Hubby) on living with a critical person, that I thought I should write a little more, since I lived with a very unhappy and critical man for 15 years and received advance studies in the field.

Aristotle said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”  Hmmm that sounds fun! Let’s all go into
comas!

The truth is, we women have been dealing with criticism most of our lives and it can effect our self-esteem. We’ve been conditioned to not rock the boat. We want to be liked and throughout history a woman’s life depended on it. Many of us don’t voice our ideas or pursue our most important work because of our fear of criticism. We don’t take risks or speak our truth because we’re afraid of criticism and dependent on praise. But whenever we look outside of ourselves for validation, we’re looking in the wrong place and if we allow anyone to cause us to doubt our ability to succeed, it’s our own fault. That was the main reason I wrote The Joy of Being Disorganized. I wanted women to understand their value in spite of being disorganized. 

Turn a deaf ear to negative words

I decided to look up the negative words our society uses to describe women, especially in the workplace. For example, if a man forgets things easily he’s called an absent minded professor. If a woman is forgetful she’s called a ding bat. Here are the words used to describe women and what I came up with to describe men who exhibit the same characteristics.

Hormonal

Both men and women have hormones, so why don’t we ever hear someone say of a man who has just thrown a temper tantrum, “He’s hormonal.” But it’s commonly used to describe a woman’s outburst and especially in conjunction with PMS (which my sister’s husband thought was an airline). 

Have you had it?

That’s how you can feel living a disorganized lifestyle. It's like living in a continual storm. But when you hit bottom with words like the declarations above, you're in the perfect place to change. Someone said, “The bottom is a great place to be because there’s nowhere to go but up.” Not until you hit bottom can you surrender to your situation and ask for the guidance that’s available 24/7. That’s when miracles happen. In that moment of surrender you'll be reminded that even though you're in a mess, you're in the right place with the right people at the right time. The only element you lack is direction.

DIRECTION! You can deal with that! Direction involves choices! You just need a map to follow and you'll be fine! For me it was the 3x5 card file system my sister and I came up with and the reason we became known as The Slob Sisters.

When my sister and I had had it with our home organization skills, that’s the first time we considered the word “direction” in reference to our problem. We weren’t lazy? Come to think of it, we worked harder than those BOs (Born Organized) who refuse to make work for themselves by being disorganized.

I knew I wasn't crazy? I'd been able to maintain a high level of creativity within my messy lifestyle, have three happy children, continually adjust to the personality of a very unhappy mate and remain stable.

I wasn’t stupid? Come to think of it, NO! I was very smart though my disorganized habits sabotaged my schooling so my grades didn’t reflect my intellect.

So I wasn’t lazy, crazy or stupid even though my messy life could certainly have made it look that way. When I look back on the way I used to live, the only question I have today is, “What was I thinking?”

As Carolyn Myss would say, “If I can talk Angel 101 to you for a moment, consider this.” Let’s pretend I'm one of your guardian angels and you have prayed to get organized. I've been assigned to work your case. I love the assignment because I’ve always loved you and to work with you personally in an answer to your prayer, is exciting to me!

Your Angel is With You