Posted April 30, 2014, 7 a.m by Pam Young

I hope you were offended by the title of my blog. I wanted your curiosity to get the best of you, and I hope that’s why you’re here. By the way, I don’t think you’re a ding dong, in fact it’s an acronym that I knew would get your attention and might help you with a very important subject: procrastination. (If you weren’t offended and you think of yourself as a ding dong, I’m afraid I can’t help you with that, but I can help with procrastination.)

If you are a master procrastinator, or know one, the acronym DING DONG might just help to be a wake-up call to realize what’s happening when stuff gets put off!

DING DONG stands for Do It Now Girl~ Don’t Over-Neglect Girl.

Procrastination really is over-neglect! Put something off once you’ve postponed it, put it off twice you’ve re-postponed it, three times, it’s just plain ol’ neglect. Neglect is such a harsh word (abandonment, desertion, carelessness and mistreatment) and over-neglect, well that’s even worse. I think some master procrastinator probably came up with the word procrastinate (delay, postpone, dawdle) to make himself feel better for over-neglecting. Whatever you choose to call it, the remedy is always to DING. Do It Now Girl.

Recently I over-neglected a project involving my chorus. I was supposed to have my costume altered with cuffs, sequins and a different neckline. I knew I had a month before a performance in our “new” costumes, so I kept putting it off because it just didn’t sound fun! Then, three weeks before the performance we were told to wear our costumes to rehearsal along with full stage make-up! My costume was still on the table in my bedroom, so I went to chorus rehearsal without make-up and wearing street clothes. I was the only one out of a hundred women! (The reason for a full dress rehearsal is for the costume and make-up committees to check off each singer as ready for the big performance.

I was embarrassed, so the next day I fixed my costume (it took one hour and it was rather fun) and at the next rehearsal I decided to go in full stage make-up and in my costume. I knew I’d be the only one, but wanted to do it on purpose to paint the fact red that I had procrastinated and wanted to make amends. It turned out, I had an extremely busy day and didn’t have time to put full make-up on, so I didn’t follow through.

Procrastination really is a silly thing to do! DING DONG.

Monday April 28, 2014

I remember loving Peeps as they got older and chewier, but more than once I Peeped myself into the next size bathing suit when summer was just around the corner.  Here it is a week since the Easter Bunny came and it’s my guess that you and your family have had your fair share of chocolate in the shape of bunny ears and eggs.

I wonder if in a thousand years from now when anthropologists study our current society they’ll be perplexed at the fact that we celebrate with sugar. Two hundred years ago, the average American ate only 2 pounds of sugar a year. In 1970, we ate 123 pounds per year. Today, the average American consumes almost 152 pounds of sugar in one year!

My blog on Wednesday Hey DING DONG (it’s not about the cupcakes) has to do with procrastination and it occurred to me that a great decision to stop putting off would be a decision to stop eating sugar.

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to quit complaining and judging in 2014. But that was over three months ago and although I’ve cut way back, I’m not very proud of myself, especially because of what happened to me today. I had a wake-up call from CW (Crotchety Watch). It’s sort of a make-believe software program installed in my mind (upon request in prayer) on New Year’s Eve. It stands guard, monitoring my thoughts and although it doesn’t censor what comes out of my mouth, it sends a communiqué (and a small electric shock) which is supposed to train me to be aware of my thoughts and ultimately be nicer. Perhaps after today I should ask for the Deluxe Crotchety Watch which actually stops tetchy talk from leaving my lips.

I’m not sure what happened today, if it’s my age or that I’m just recovered from a mean virus or because the weather’s so unpredictable this time of year. BLEEP! Damn, CW just caught that complaint about the weather. (Maybe I shouldn’t have adjusted the sensitivity level feature since the mishap today.) Oy vey. Anyway, here’s what happened.

See there’s a bank I hate, BLEEP! but still have to go to because I have one last account I haven’t switched over to my new bank. (I’ve got too many checks left that I want to use.) I won’t tell you the name of the bank, but you’d know it if I did. Let’s just say it’s a bank in America. Anyway, I went into the place with a subconscious chip on my shoulder to deposit a check into my House Fairy Inc. checking account.

The teller was a very young, beautiful girl, but with limited skills in social communication. BLEEP! (That is NOT a judgment, that’s the truth, damn it!) BLEEP!

Happy Monday Morning Mom! There’s something very special about this Monday, because it follows Easter and it carries with it the promise of new beginnings. Take some time today and all this week to be still and feel the new birth and growth all around you. 

Feel the joy you felt as a very young child, free of worry and concern and focus on the warmth of the spring sun as you breathe in the fresh spring air. Let the blossoms remind you of the miracle you are and bask in the beauty of this season. Spring assures us of another chance to grow and blossom into our potential. 

Drenched and Delirious

Coming out of my chorus rehearsal the other night, I got caught in a downpour trying to get to my car! It was one of those Hollywood rains. You know, the kind you see in the movies.

We natives of the Pacific Northwest don’t usually have umbrellas, because we have dashability. We dash when we have to, but I hadn’t done a night dash in such a deluge in a long time.

There are 100 women in my chorus and we all dashed out into the torrential darkness at the same time. There was sort of a cheery pandemonium. The parking lot is about the size of a football field and as I ran toward what I thought was my car (I’d hit the unlock button) taillights were going on everywhere and I inadvertently got into one of our baritone’s car. I knew instantly it wasn’t my car, because she almost fell in on top of me. We shared a wet hug and a giggle and I headed to the car next door. My glasses were fogged and streaked and it was hard to find the door handle, but I did. The door was locked. Wrong car again.

It's Monday.  Let's see what wonders the new week holds!

On this beautiful Monday morning, I’m excited about our week. I decided to call my Monday email to you, Monday Morning for Mom. Let’s celebrate the start of our week, knowing it holds so many gifts of joy and love. Let’s don’t get so involved with our “to do” lists that we forget to be.

I love the work of Doe Zantamata! She inspires me with words of happiness and hope. Today let’s be who we really are. No lies, no acts, just be you. You are awesome and you have a fabulous week ahead of you. I hope you’ll let the House Fairy help you to motivate your children to keep their rooms neat and tidy while I help you have more fun with them. They grow up so fast ya know.

I decided this week’s theme is laughter and joy. With spring moving in, it just seems to lighten everyone up. I thought I’d include in today’s email a link to someone who cracks me up. I hope he makes you laugh too. I use YouTube videos for instant laughs whenever I get a little down.