This blog was written for both men and women, so no matter which one you are, listen up! With Valentine’s Day in a few days you might consider this very important tip. It’ll not only perk up your marriage (if you’ve been in it a while), you'll be happy and more healthy! You can tell by the title it’s a pretty simple suggestion, but wait until you understand why such a little “event” is so valuable.
Hey guys, for your information a woman loves to be touched and you should be touching her ten times a day, BUT that doesn’t mean she wants to have sex every time you rub her shoulders.
One scientist explained that as children, boys and girls both have sensory receptors all over their bodies, but with the onset of puberty, boys are the only ones of our species whose sensory receptors congregate in just one place, while the girls continue to enjoy touch just about everywhere.
It’s also true that after puberty, girl’s receptors increase in three areas, but those zones are off limits without a considerable amount of foot massaging, back rubbing, head and hair fiddling with and sweet talk outside those No Trespassing Zones.
If you’re a guy and you’re still reading this or you’re still listening to your wife read it to you, those zones need to be taken seriously, or you could end up somewhere you don’t want to be. You know, like what would happen if you’re driving on a road and you came to a sign that said, “Detour?” If you didn’t mind it, you’d go off the road and crash. So just consider those zones have invisible detour signs, but now you know to go around. Yeah, it takes a little time, but you’ll get there eventually.
One woman said, “I just bent over to pick up a sharp dog toy and Carl put his hand right on my crotch from behind! I jumped up and yelled at him, ‘Why did you do that? How would you like me to do that to you!!!’ His response was, ‘Yeah, I’d like it!’ That’s just nuts!”
This transfer of sensation at puberty creates much misunderstanding and the affects have caused millions to become disillusioned until they know how to work with the systems.
Even though, you’d never like what Carl did, just remember, Carl would! So consider spending a lot of time in that area of your husband, because evidently there is no No Trespassing sign or detour sign! That’s all there is to say about that!
The 20-second Kiss
A marriage counselor explained on a television talk show that a marriage is either thriving, treading water or deteriorating and she offered this tip: the twenty-second kiss. I was single at the time and dating a lovely man and we were indulging in many 20-seconders, I call them “date kisses,” but I wanted my sister to try this on her husband of 15 years.
This was her report:
My husband, Danny, was headed out the front door to go to work and I stopped him on the porch.
“Do you have 20 seconds?”
“Sure, what’d’ya want?”
“Sissy saw a marriage counselor on television and she said this’ll really help our marriage thrive!”
Danny hate’s doing stuff my sister suggests. Once she told him to drink eight, 8 oz. glasses of water a day to lose weight and he told her he didn’t have time to take an 8 oz. glass to the water fountain at work (he’s a policeman) to measure the water, he just drinks from the fountain when he can. So she measured how many swallows there were in one 8 oz. glass and told him there were 15.
A few days later after Danny'd been counting swallows at work, we were all in my kitchen and he filled an 8 oz. glass with water and proceeded to swallow it in five swallows. I looked at my sister and we both had the look of mortification! My sister told him she didn’t know people had different sized swallowers, but the bottom line was Danny was running to the bathroom constantly, because he'd consumed twice as much water as he needed.
Back to the porch. Danny put the timer on his watch to 20 seconds (what, like he just might go over?) and we began the kiss to enhance our marriage. I had my eyes shut and I started to wonder if his were. I opened my eyes to see and they were….awe!
Then while mine were open, he opened his and we were staring at each other! Then we started to laugh, but Sissy said we were not to come apart under any circumstances! He pulled up his watch and we discovered we still had ten seconds left! 20 seconds is a long time!
Bottom line, Danny was 45 minutes late for work.
The 20-second Hug
Maybe a 20-second hug is a better starting place. You’ll love to know what it’ll do for you! When you hug another person you release oxytocin. It’s one of the most powerful neurotransmitters in our brain. Neurotransmitters are the brain chemicals that communicate information throughout our brain and body. They relay signals between nerve cells, called “neurons.” The brain uses neurotransmitters to tell your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe, and your stomach to digest.
It’s quite a unique chemical compound that can only be found in mammals and requires specific stimulating techniques in order to be released naturally. Hugging is one of these incredibly simple techniques. After years of experiments scientists have concluded that only physical touch between humans, especially loved ones, can facilitate the most potent secretion of oxytocin. It has been proven that hugging for up to 20 seconds can create such an emotional cocktail in two people that a strong bonding might emerge instantaneously. The logical explanation of this phenomenon is that a person with high levels of oxytocin in their system is more likely to be a lot happier, hence “contaminate” you with positive emotions through hugging and therefore make you happier and earn your trust.
Last but not least, scientists suggest that you need to experience at least eight hugs a day in order to feel happier and more content with life.
Oh and here's a blog I wrote about being happy with exercise.
P.S. There is such joy in loving who you are and appreciating your gifts. The Joy of Being Disorganized is a must read for every SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive).