There’s a huge difference between a drastic transformation and change that takes place as gracefully and gradually as a baby turns into a toddler. But when we’re fed up with our old ways we tend to want an instant and dramatic fix. That’s what impatience is all about. Take weight for example, we want the weight to come off faster than we put it on. We get frustrated with a loss of just one pound in a week, yet if we gained a pound a week, we’d gain 52 pounds in a year. I don’t know anyone who’s done that and you probably don’t either.
If you’re like me, you tend to have that notion: All or nothing at all. When we want to get organized usually we’ve come to a place where every room is laced with chaos. When we decide to fix our finances it’s when the power’s been shut off or we max a few credit cards and sink into financial depression. When we want to lose weight it’s usually because we’ve let it go so long that our pants hurt and we’re scared to get on the scale. We’re sort of like the frog that stays in the water as it is heated to boiling and cooks to death, only we don't cook to death, we snap.
It’s after the snap that we typically make the decision to do something. We rarely think to be something. If you think, “I want to be happy,” or “I want to be comfortable in my home” or “I want to be debt free,” all those thoughts will cheer your heart. If you’ve gained enough weight to have it be a major problem, you probably barely know the healthy, happy you that’s under the fat. If you're overwhelmed with the operation of running a home and family you don’t know the peace that attends an organized and smoothly running household. If you're afraid to open your mailbox and your heart races when it’s time to pay bills, you're missing the constant joy of being debt-free.
There is this beautiful place between all and nothing at all and it’s called grateful patience. It’s incremental progress and it takes being patient, kind and loving with yourself and celebrating the small stuff.
Be easy with yourself. Find a photo of you when you were a child and when you look at it see if you can imagine that child still within you because she is. How could you be mean, impatient or unloving to that little one? Think how children enjoy life. I think we're meant to enjoy life and it should get better and better. If you are in self-improvement mode, celebrate that desire to be better and enjoy the in between of all or nothing at all as you become grateful, patient and satisfied with increments of improvement.
I was on Afternoon Live in Portland, OR (a live talk show starring Tra Renee) last week and I shared what to do now, if your New Year's resolution has sort of petered out. Here's the clip: http://katu.com/afternoon-live/lifestyle-health/be-happy-in-2018
I hope I was able to help you lighten up and go forward into this happy new year. I have a New Year's special I'm offering and it's a combo of "The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here!" and "The GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt" When you order the combo, you'll get 50% off. Just click on Nelly and me and it'll take you to the special.