Enlightened Selfishness Means Taking Time for You
For starters, take time to read this blog, unless your house is on fire or your dog has a death grip on one of your children.
Most women are notorious for neglecting themselves in lieu of caring for others and you’re probably one of them. If you’re not, CONGRATULATIONS! When asked, “Are you selfish about taking care of yourself, most women cringe and say, “no.” The cringe comes from guilt knowing they should have free time for themselves but don't. There are two parts to this “enlightened selfishness: first you need to know what you’re going to do when you take time out and second, you need to make time for the time outs and get them to become a habit. There are two ways to do that. One is to cut corners wherever you can, and two is to delegate some of your work to the members of your family so you can take time for you. I'll give you some tips on delegating, but first here's a video that demonstrates how to drastically save time folding sheets.
Now for the second way to save time, delegation. In preparation for writing this blog, I asked a source that's notorious for being a great delegator, knowing that most women don’t know how to do it very well. I discovered the best place to learn about delegating is a place that has classes on it and they’re free! The only glitch is you have to sign up first. It’s called the Army.
By asking military people I know, I learned that one of the first things you need to realize is that if you try to do it all, it’s not sustainable. The second thing you should do is let your helpers, whether it’s your husband, children or whoever is living with you, know what has to be done. The Army doesn’t ask its troops IF they’ll do something. If a sergeant wants you to march, he or she says, “March.” Now you don’t have to go all sergeanty about it, you can command in a very sweet voice, but don’t ask if, tell to. Think of your family as your troops.
Once you’ve established a habit of having time every day that’s just for you, you’ll need to have an idea of what you’re going to do. What do you love to do? What makes you happy? Make a list so you’ll be inspired to actually do the stuff on the list.
Also plan to take enough 10-minute breaks every day to move around and breathe in fresh air. Employees must be allowed a paid ten-minute rest break for each four-hour work period, scheduled as near to the midpoint of the work period as possible. Employees cannot be required to work more than three hours without a rest break. If you work at home, pretend it’s mandatory you take a break every four hours.
Every morning, set an intention to be happy and glad you’re alive. Count your blessings and look for reasons to feel good right in the moment. Right now, dig up a positive memory from the past, some event that made you high with joy and revel in it. When I ask my readers to do something, I’ll invariably do it myself, so I conjured up the time I got to be in the delivery room when my first grandchild was born. I’d never seen a baby be born because when my children were born I was at the other end of the place where the babies came out. As I think about that joyous moment of seeing my granddaughter and daughter come through the delivery, I’m instantly refreshed with gratefulness for life.
Be selfish about what you desire because you came here to experience the joy of living and you can only do that when you know what you want and don’t want out of life. Get into the habit of enlightened selfishness. Enlightened selfishness is a term I coined in my first book “Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise.” It’s the selfishness asked for by a flight attendant when you’re told if there is a drop in cabin pressure an oxygen mask will flop down in front of you and if you’re with a child, you are to put your mask on first and then assist your child. If you don’t take care of yourself, and get enough rest, exercise, food and water, you won’t be a very effective caregiver for those who count on you.
My book, The JOY of Being Disorganized is chock full of ideas,hints, tips and advice on how to be happy and get organized just enough to please you.
P.S. Here's a blog I wrote about saving time exercising by doing it in bed before you even get up https://blog.cluborganized.com/under-the-covers
Just a note, I have no idea why this video is here twice! It's same one as above and it shouldn't be here. I've tried to delete it and it just keeps coming back like an annoying weed in the lawn. Please just ignore it, because I have more important things to do, like go shopping!