Don't let your anger
rob you of your peace and joy
How would you like it if everyone in your life could read your mind? Would your family and friends like what you sometimes think of them and about them? Would you like to know what they think about you? Yikes! This is getting to be a scary thought. Would you want to know?
I was furious!
I thought about this today when I got mad at a person who will remain anonymous. Have you ever been so mad your lips press white, your teeth clench, your eyebrows wrinkle into a frown as your nostrils flare out like Louis Armstrong’s did when he’d play the trumpet? And the thoughts! Well, today mine made me wonder if clairvoyant people ever stay married.
We would really have to monitor our thoughts if our friends and family could read our minds! Does just thinking about that make you want to be nicer with what goes on behind your mouth?
For now, let’s just be grateful our thoughts are ours and they don’t get out without our permission. Oprah said, or maybe it was President Trump, “Count to ten.” That really does help, but maybe counting backwards from fifty would be better. That way the mind will get distracted from thinking mean thoughts and by the time it gets to the number one, it can think nice thoughts again.
But what can we do when someone makes us mad? We have to acknowledge it. We’ve read so much psychobabble to know stuffing our feelings isn’t healthy and most of us don’t want to hold a grudge and carry our grievances around forever. The sooner we can get over our bouts with anger the better. Here are five things to do when you get mad.
1. Admit you’re angry
There's nothing wrong with being angry. So give yourself a break. Have you ever had someone ask you, “What’s wrong?” If you answer, “Oh nothing,” you’re missing an opportunity to get your anger out in the open and resolve it. Don’t be an oh nothing martyr.
2. Sort it out
Anger is a feeling. Get by yourself and put words to your feeling of anger. Just listening to yourself on a rant, will help you sort things out. You might consider recording your rant and then playing it back when you’ve finished spewing. Then listen the way you would to a friend. You’ll be in “advice” mode and you’ll be surprised at how helpful you can be to yourself. Writing down your thoughts about your feelings can really help too.
3. Get physical
Scientists say that biologically, anger looks a lot like other forms of arousal. Get outside and channel the anger into an activity that can release tension, like taking a nice walk.
Do a soap opera scream (if you're in a place no one can hear). Instead of letting anger burn in you, you can let it burn off. Sometimes the energy release of a good laugh, or a good cry, can also take the edge off.
4. Put it in perspective
Gratitude can instantly lend perspective to your anger and often will eliminate it. We (especially women) can blow things out of perspective and turn a mole hill into a Mt. St. Helens.
5. Get organized
If it's a serial aggressor that's getting you down, chart out steps to improve the situation. A methodical, specific plan of action can lend a sense of control, helping stop the madness.
Thank you for reading my blog. I hope if you were mad at someone when you started reading, you’re not anymore. If you liked this you might like another blog I wrote, How to Win Couples Common Clutter Conflicts http://blog.housefairy.org/expert-shares-how-to-fight-with-your-spouse-and-win
P.S. I believe we came here to be happy and to have peace. My newest book, The Joy of Being Disorganized, is dedicated to just that. If you need more peace and joy in your life I know this will help.