I was getting my hair cut the other day and Billy Jo, my stylist (hair cutter) got a call on her cell phone in her apron pocket. The conversation went like this:
“My Shop, Billy Jo speaking.”
I couldn’t hear the voice on the other end so you’ll only get Billy Jo’s responses, although you can kind of hear between the lines.
“I’m cutting a client’s hair.”
“Fine, but I can’t talk right now.”
“I’m busy until 5. It’s 2:15, did you take your pills?”
“Okay take them now. I’ll be home about 5:30.”
Billy Jo disconnected the call and put her phone back into her pocket. She rolled her eyes as she picked up the scissors and began cutting my hair again.
“That was my mom wanting to know how I am. She acts shocked when she hears I’m working and she never leaves a message if I don’t answer right away.”
It made me think about my mom getting frustrated when her mom would call her when she was busy and how distracting it was when my mom would call me at especially busy times. She too would never leave a message saying: “I hate those damn machines and I refuse to talk to a machine.” It made me think about what I do to my kids. For one thing, I quit calling them when I learned how to text. That gives my kids an easier time to put me off when they’re busy. And just like my mom and Granny, I have no idea when my kids are busy, so I understand the chain of unwanted calls through the years.
I wonder what they did in the olden days when there were no telephones. One thing, the old parents lived with the adult children in many cases so an aged mother could see that her adult child was busy and could leave her alone. Two, with the whole family living together, I’d think there’d be a tendency for every member to want to seek more private space. These days we live apart from each other and so, in my opinion, we need connection more than our ancestors did.
I was at the store a few weeks ago and I watched the reverse of a mom seeking connection with her adult child; it was a four-year-old seeking attention from his mother. She was reading the label on a cereal box and he was looking at the pictures on a box of Corn Flakes which was at his eye level. It went like this:
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
“Ma ma?”
Ten attempts to get his mother’s attention to no avail. I almost went up to her to tell her what she was doing, but I didn’t have my advice-giving hat on, so I left the one-sided conversation. When Billy Jo was talking about her mom, I wondered how her mom was when Billy Jo was young. Was she like that mom in the store?
I just donned my advice-giving hat. Maybe we can all learn something from this. The bottom line is we all need attention and as far as our loved ones are concerned, it would be nice if we’d pay more attention to each other.
We here in our beautiful Pacific Northwest, are in danger from the wildfires. As I watched some of the news this morning, several evacuees who had to leave there homes because of the fires, were interviewed at various shelters and every one of them conveyed the same sentiment. “We’ve got each other and our pets and family and that’s all that really matters. The stuff is just stuff.”
Let’s give more attention to what really matters. Our mamas who are growing old, our children who rely on us for love and attention and our spouses all could use a little more attention.
I love you all. I'm so grateful for your love over the years. I think about you and pray you are safe, healthy and happy. Thank you for your concern during the nine months of my heart problem. It meant a lot to me. I'm happy to report that I'm six weeks healed from atrial fibrillation! Several times a day I report to my husband how many days I've had having a normal heart, and we hug in celebration. I pray I'll never lose this state of appreciation for "normal."
Love,
