Have you learned the valuable lesson that when you get treated poorly, it never has anything to do with you? It’s not a real easy lesson because it's so easy to take unkindness personally, especially when it’s directed right at you. Those who have this lesson learned are happier than those who don’t. They are able to let unkindness roll off like they’d be if they’d been through the “wax” part in a car wash. Just think about the times you've gotten mad at your kid or your husband and you did it in a mean way. Do you feel bad after that? None of us wants to be mean spirited but sometimes it comes out that way because we're off. Our natural state is wellbeing but when we don't take care of ourselves and get enough sleep, food, water, fresh air and exercise, we can wonk out on our natural state of goodness.
I was at the grocery store the other day and the clerk who checked me out is a petite woman whom I've always enjoyed communicating with when I check-out. at her register. Her name is Julie and she’s very efficient and fast. She’s also very patient with people and I’ve never seen her be mean to a customer.
One time I couldn’t find my debit card to pay and just when I started to say, “I’ll get out of line so you can take care of the next customer,” she said, “It’s okay, no rush.” Just those kind words caused me to slow down and there was the card I needed.
But this day, as I put my groceries on the conveyor belt, she said, “I don’t know why I’m so emotional today.” I looked in her eyes and she looked so sad. I said, “What’s up Little Girl?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I guess it’s ‘cause I’m not being treated very well.”
“What? Who is not treating you well?”
“Some of the staff here.”
“Well, whoever is mistreating you, it has nothing to do with you.”
“That’s what my mom said!”
“Your mom is right!”
“Really? You think it has nothing to do with me?”
“Yep! It has everything to do with the other person.”
Because I don’t know the specifics I can guess. This woman has been working for the store for ten years and she’s very good at what she does. She’s also petite and attractive. My guess is there is some jealousy going on here. I decided to write a note to the manager and tell him how much I like this person and how she’s so efficient, fast and friendly.
What if we wrote some note like that daily, complementing someone who we appreciate? Just think what that could do for hardworking people we know. Remember what Socrates said, or maybe it was Donny Osmond, “Be kind to everyone you meet, they’re having a hard time.” When I tie up this blog, I’m going to write another note like the one I wrote about Julie. It’s going to go to Rachel a waitress we’ve enjoyed at one of our favorite restaurants, oh and then I’m going to write one to my neighbor who just had her house painted and it is absolutely gorgeous! Oh, and then I’m going to write one to Alex who always waits on me at our bank and is always fun and happy.
If you ever get mistreated, instead of spending a single moment feeling bad, write a note of appreciation for someone who comes to your mind. There are so many people in your life, (including you) who deserve being treated with kindness and appreciation.
So if you ever get into a situation where someone is unkind to you, don’t take it personally and practice being kind and you’ll attract more of the same. What anyone thinks of you is none of your business.