Two Wrongs Might Make IT Right


I’m compelled to expose the epitome of stupidity here in my beautiful state of Washington. I’m sorry, but for the last 17 years or so, I’ve been appalled at something I think will at least make you shake your head and at best make you go along with my appalation (I know there’s no such word).

This weekend Terry and I went to one of my favorite getaways, Skamania Lodge. It’s nestled off Highway 14, a two-lane road that follows the Columbia River on the Washington, State side. The Skamania Lodge has abulous food, breathtaking views of mountains, a golf course and the Columbia River. They have cool rocking chairs by a gigantic fireplace that burns real wood and rooms with soft beds, luxuriant bath towels and white terrycloth bathrobes that make you feel like a movie star.


Skamania County is wonderful too. It’s deep in the Columbia River Gorge and its natural beauty is beyond comparison. I love the sound of the word, Skamania. I love its people and its restaurants like The Big River Grill, the Venus Café and El Rio Texicantina.

If you can't make it to Heaven just yet - Skamania will doJust mention Skamania and I’m in heaven, except for a stretch of about fifty feet of highway 14. That’s where IT is. Over the years I’ve tried to describe IT (this fifty feet of rock) to anyone who will listen. Even 82-year-old Merna DeBolt whom I consider a brilliant historian in Skamania County doesn’t know the origin of IT and most Skamania-ites don’t want to talk about IT. As the years have passed at least nature is working her magic on IT, by growing moss to cover IT.

On this trip, Terry finally took a picture of IT and I couldn’t get home fast enough to get this off my chest once and for all and show you what IT is.

ITI’m just guessing, but I think IT is an example of official government-sponsored vandalism at its finest and I’d like to get my hands on and personally tattoo (like the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo did) the idiot official who was behind this sign in our beautiful Columbia River Gorge.

Here’s what I’d tattoo on his/her chest: “I promise to never paint on the beautiful rocks in the Gorge ever again. Back then, I was just trying to help my brother-in-law who needed a job and was a sign painter by trade. I’m sorry Washington and especially Skamania County.”

Of course I really don’t know anything about the creeps behind this vandalism in the name of keeping Washington green and beautiful and I really don’t know how to tattoo, but I do have a solution that I’m sure would cost less than what the authorized desecration cost in the first place. Spray paint! That’s right, gray, black and brown spray paint to match the beautiful Columbia River Basalt wall. I think we tourists could do it vigilante-style; each time we pass through the Gorge we could empty a can of spray paint in a gray tone and by the end of next summer IT would be history!happiness_file

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