You Know What I Mean?

The last thing I want to do in my old age, is get grouchy, but if I don’t get this irksome aggravation under control and off my chest, I’m afraid I’m going to snap and get cranky. I don’t want to hurt anyone, because I wouldn’t do well in prison since I have to have my special pillow, I like the temperature at a constant 70 degrees and I don’t think I’d like bread and water or all that inmate noise. I’m hoping if I explain what’s bugging me to you, I’ll feel better and be able to cope with it the next time it happens (which is often).

There are several people in my life who are in the habit of saying the same sentence after about every other sentence. One of the people says, “. . . .and what not.” One says, “. . .I mean,you know,” and one says (and this is the one that really bugs me) “. . .you know what I mean?”

The first two are just aggravating, but the last one is downright revolting, mainly because the person is asking a question he doesn’t really want answered. I really listen when people talk to me and if I’m asked a question, I like to answer it. For instance the worst of the perps said to me one day,

“I went to J.C. Penneys and they didn’t have the shoes they advertised on television. It made me mad, you know what I mean?”

“That they didn’t have the shoes or you were mad?”

“Huh?”

“You said Penneys didn’t have the shoes they advertised on TV and it made you mad.”

“Yeah, they just advertised them to get me into the store and that makes me mad, you know what I mean?”

“Why, because of the false advertising or you got mad.”

“Huh?”

“You got mad because of the false advertising, or that you got mad?”

“Yes, false advertising makes me mad.”

Sometimes when this guy says something and ends it with his question, there’s no way I’d know the answer. One day he said, “My son just doesn’t care about going on vacation with us, you know what I mean?”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“No, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Huh?”

“You asked me if I knew what you meant when you said your son doesn’t want to go on vacation with you. I have no clue what you mean.”

“I didn’t ask you what I meant!”

“Yes, you did!”

“Did not!”

“DID TO!”

“You know what? You are turning into a cranky old lady, you know what I mean!”

“Yeah, I do know! There! Finally I can answer you!”

“I don’t get it? Why are you so angry?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just tired, or maybe I’m thirsty or maybe I need to get some exercise or maybe I’m just getting old, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Okay, I think I’ve got this one under control, you know what I mean?