Happy July 4^th to those of you who live in the United States of America, and to my friends around the world, enjoy the peace and quiet of a firework-free day!

This video is short. In fact, in the time it’d take you to sing, God Bless America, it’ll be over. I found it in my extremely organized film archive under, “A” for Adorable. Hey, we get to organize according to our very own systems!

The three adorable singers are my bonus daughter Kristi Marsh’s children. (From left to right: Kyle (three), Kaytee (one), Tanner (five). One of the things I love about living in the 21^st century is we can record special moments like this one and cherish the memories forever. I keep reminding young mothers to enjoy as many moments as possible with your children, because they grow up faster than a cheetah on speed.

Santa Isn't Where You Think He Is Right Now!

What do you think Santa Claus is doing right now? Do you think he’s on some beach, lounging in a hammock, drinking Margaritas and listening to Christmas Carols on his IPhone? Nope! 

Santa Claus is organized! In fact, he and Mrs. Claus think ahead, so that on Christmas Eve they can enjoy a nice, leisurely dinner before he sets off at dark to deliver toys and goodies to the boys and girls.

We all know that the holidays require extra time and energy. So why not take advantage of summer leisure and get a jump on the holidays?

1. Stocking Stuffers 

Stuff as you go. Hide a small container, like a shoe box or Zip Lock Gallon bag, for each child. When
you’re out and about and find items that would be good for stocking stuffers, like movie tickets, gift cards, little toys and books, purchase and put in the hidden containers.

Come midnight on Christmas Eve, you’ll thank yourself when you think, ‘EEgad, we gotta do stockings,’ and you’ll have most of the contents ready to stuff.

Let the love come from you before you seek it from others.

When anyone acts up whether he/she is a child or an adult, it's just an attempt at being loved. Have you ever wanted to tell another adult to “grow up?” It’s interesting to watch an adult act like a child, but it’s not as easy to see immature behavior crop up in ourselves. I think we all carry remnants of our childhood into adulthood and studying those remnants in the lab of my own life has been a hoot for me.

July 4, 2014 marked twelve years since I met Nelly. She’s my inner child and constant companion, and when a few hours go by and I haven’t heard from her, I do as any mother would do; I check up on her. 

I might ask myself, “Is something bothering you little girl? You don’t seem very happy right now.” If I’m still and listen, I’ll get an answer that would have remained unexpressed had I not questioned myself.

When children are ignored, whether they are real or within, they want attention and they will get it.

Nelly needs adult guidance and before that first meeting, she was free to run the show. I’ve written a lot about our relationship in my book, The Joy of Being Disorganized.    I believe each of us has an inner child whether we know it or not. Take any chronic problem in your life, whether you’re overweight, in debt or your house is full of clutter, and ask yourself, “How old have I been acting when it comes to (you fill in the blank)? Bingo! It’s time to grow up.

Your inner child is not all bad. I’ve discovered over the 12 years, that it’s Nelly that keeps me young, frisky, optimistic and lighthearted, but when ignored she will get my attention in ways that tend to sabotage my good intentions.

We all Need Attention

My blog took a typical, SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) turn with an email from a Flybaby and it prompted me to find a very funny article written by a columnist for the Seattle Times who in turn went on to become a very famous food critic in the Northwest. His article gives you the man’s view of a SHE. The article follows this email.

Here’s my letter to Barb,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I love hearing from SHEs like you because it just confirms to me that we are one huge, happy family, loving our homes and loving order, but careful not to take life too seriously. I purposely approached getting organized with a sense of humor and joy and that book was the first book on the market written from a reformed “slob’s” point of view.  (Remember SLOB stands for Spontaneous, Lighthearted, Optimistic and Beloved.)

Love,

Pam

Here’s the article, written by John Hinterberger  Seattle Times.

I’m grateful to each and every one of you who are raising fabulous citizens of our next generation. It’s an awesome responsibility. Keep up the good work, don’t get too serious (your kids can help you with that) and learn something every day from them (they have much to teach us). 

Now that the House Fairy has a brand new website, I’m so happy with her new and improved programs. More than 20,000 families are House Fairy friendly and I love that the programs are for life! Once you are a member you are always a member and there are no dues or monthly fees and the House Fairy and I get to keep coming up with helpful tools that you’ll receive as they come. I also have some exciting things happening and you’ll be the first to know what’s new. 

Because you’re interested in helping your kids establish good habits that’ll serve them throughout their lives, I’d like to share something that occurred to me about habits.

Join NOSS and Establish Good Habits

 The only way to establish a habit is to put the action you want to become a habit into a routine. You’ll have to do the action enough times for it to become automatic. In order to do that, you have to be an option stopper. Don’t give yourself the option of not doing the action you want to have become a habit. 

For example, if you want exercise to be part of your routine, then you have to stop giving yourself options out of exercise. Options abound. Until exercise is a habit, your options will always look better than exercise. But if you’ll be an option stopper, one day you’ll realize you have a new habit! 

Have you HAD it? Is it OVER? Do you wash your hands of it? Do you give up and say UNCLE? 

Is that how you feel about your disorganized lifestyle? Well STOP IT!  

I was 34 years old when I hit bottom. Someone said, “The bottom is a great place to be because there’s nowhere to go but up.” Not until I hit bottom did I surrender to my situation and ask for the guidance that’s available 24/7. That’s when miracles happen. In that moment of surrender I was reminded that even though I was in a mess, I was in the right place with the right people, I was just fine and the only element I really lacked was direction. Following a direction is a spiritual issue.

In my almost 40 year career helping moms get organized I’ve come to one big conclusion about being organized: it’s about mind management, not time management. There are thousands of books giving you direction, but until your mind is changed the direction won’t be followed.

Angel Speak

I’d like you to pretend I’m one of your guardian angels and you've prayed to get organized and I’ve been assigned to work your case. I love the assignment because I’ve always loved you and to work with you personally is exciting to me!

So, I’m sitting on your chest when you wake up in the morning and I can’t wait to see you open your beautiful eyes so we can start our fabulous day together. But you’re so tired, you miss the joy before you. I should have known that’s how it’d be because you played on the computer until 2:00 am and every time I tried to get you to go to bed, you ignored me. 

When you finally went to bed, I wished you a wonderful night’s sleep, but you didn’t hear me because you conked out before I was finished talking to you.  Anyway, now it’s morning and you stagger to the bathroom, tripping over shoes you left in the pathway to the toilet. (I was able to block your fall.) By the way, I love to hear you swear! We don’t get to do it here in heaven, so it’s fun to hear (sort of like when you first tried out a swear word when your mom wasn’t close enough to hear).

As your days progress I try to get a few words in edgewise. Little suggestions like, “Look at your calendar Love,” “Get a drink of water Sweet One,” “That job won’t be that bad, put your timer on for 15 minutes and start Darling,” “Don’t take that comment personally, what he thinks of you is none of your business,” oh and “God loves you,” “I love you,” and “Please be kind to yourself Blessed One.” 

Sometimes you listen and take my guidance, but most times you just don’t hear me or you say, “I’m too busy, too tired or I don’t have time. (I really get a kick out of that last one!  I wish you knew how funny you are when you say, “I don’t have time.” LOL My Adorable One, you have all the time in the world.)

The Flood of 2014 - Water ALWAYS wins

Get Organized! Go Early!! Save Time!!!

My husband Terry and I love to go to the Oregon Symphony Pops concerts. Last time we went, I talked him into going to the Heathman Hotel which is next door to the theater, for dinner afterward. 

I had appealed to his logic by explaining that we could enjoy a nice dinner and avoid the exhaust-filled
exodus from the six-story parking garage like we always have had to do in the past. (We seem to get to Portland within minutes before performance time and end up on the roof of the parking garage because those are the only spaces left. Then, after the show, we always have to crawl, bumper-to-bumper to get out, woozy from asphyxiation.)

After the concert, we hurried out to avoid the rush of fellow, hungry symphony goers that would ensue. Next door, we settled into our seats at a table for two. The Heathman Restaurant has great food and I was excited to be there. It’s swanky. The silverware is very heavy and the linen tablecloth was starched and as white as a baby’s first tooth.

I had to go to the bathroom (I’d vetoed going at intermission), so I told Terry, “I’m going to go powder my nose,” and hustled off to the Women’s Restroom. I don’t know why I said that. I wasn’t going to powder my nose and I didn’t have any powder in my purse; I don’t even use powder at home! I guess when I get in a fancy place I want to be ladylike. Oh well. Anyway, the restroom was as classy as the restaurant. The long door handle into the “powder” room was gold and silver and the door was heavy like the silverware. The restroom was empty, and there were just three stalls that had the kind of doors that go all the way to the floor so I couldn’t see feet, to know if there were women in any of them.

Being very careful, not to open the door on someone, I took hold of one of the beautiful door handles (identical to the silver and gold door handle on the door going into the restroom). I pulled ever so slightly and it opened. The stall was vacant. While I was in there I noticed the gorgeous marble flooring and the polished fixture that housed the toilet paper. It made me want to refurbish our bathroom.

When I came out of my stall, the restroom was full of women in various stages of “powdering their noses.” I squeezed through the crush of post-concert ladies to the elegant marble sink and washed my hands, while more crammed themselves in. I dried my hands, eager to get back to our table and headed out behind a tall woman who was obviously leading the way. As she opened the door and headed out, I was right behind her, but instead of continuing out into the lobby, she stopped abruptly and I gently bumped into her. Then without giving me any space at all, she turned around with a loud, “OH My God!” Now, we were face to face and if she’d not been so tall, we’d have touched noses!

It was only when I leaned a little to try to get around her that I saw it!

Do it NOW

With graduations and weddings soon upon us, it occurred to me to write about the dreaded “Thank You Note.” I know we’re all grateful people and so are our kids, but somehow writing thank you notes can loom over us. One survey revealed that writing thank you notes was number seven on the top ten things we tend to put off doing. For me, it’s number three on my list of put-offs.

My best advice is to keep a good supply of Thank You Notes on hand. It’d be a good idea to put a few in a Zip-Lock bag along with some stamps in your purse for those times you end up having to wait, like in the dentist’s office, on a flight or while you wait at the beauty salon. (Just think how thankful you could be when at a standstill in a traffic jam!) I found that The Dollar Store has a wonderful supply of Thank You Notes for; you guessed it, a dollar!

When I was a little girl, my mom was relentless about making me send my grandparents thank you notes after Christmas and birthdays. Grandma Dot and Grandpa Buddy’s checks came faithfully on those occasions and every day until I’d finally sit down and write the card, mom was on my case. I remember hating those nagging words, “Have you written your thank you note yet?”

I asked my friend Marci who is an exemplar mother with two adorable adult children, “Did you hound your kids to write thank you notes after Christmas, birthdays and graduations?”

“Nope.”

“Really? You mean they just did it without being badgered?”

“Well, not exactly. I just said, ‘You wanna play with that toy, read that new book spend that money? Write your thank you notes first and then you can.’”

“You mean they had to write thank you notes BEFORE they got to have the gift?”

“Yep.”

GO Moms!

Whenever I use the word GO with both letters capitalized, it usually stands for my acronym Get Organized. This time it just means GO Mom as in, you rock! Of course it helps your job if you’re organized to some degree.

I’m a mom and there’s something that’s always bugged me about Mother’s Day. I think every day should be Mother’s Day. After all, we moms work 365 days a year for no pay. I guess what really bugs me is I think Mother’s day is just a way for card, candy and flower companies to make money. I’ve also heard Mother’s Day is the biggest money-maker for the restaurant business. I’m all for private enterprise, I just want family and friends to appreciate moms every day. Don’t just think about her on May 11. Maybe you could buy 12 Mother’s Day cards and give your mom a card once a month! Or take her out to eat at least once a month in celebration of her sacrifice.

I happened to have been born the day before Mother’s Day, and the next day my mom got her breakfast delivered in the hospital with a little card that said, “Happy Mother’s Day.” Since I was her first child, it was the first time she’d been addressed as Mother. It’s a big deal!

Should we moms be grateful to have one day a year set aside for us? Of course we should, but really moms, the world will never be able to thank us for what we do. In Sidetracked Home Executives: from Pigpen to Paradise I wrote a poem for moms. I imagined what a column in the classified ads for “Help Wanted” would read.