When it comes to finances, we don't always make mature choices.

Have you made choices in your lifetime that caused consequences you didn’t like? We all have and that’s how we learn to be more careful as we grow up. (Second marriages, for example, are almost always better than the first ones, if we made a lousy choice the first time).

I recently took a much needed three-day vacation away from home with two girlfriends who are incredibly wise women. Both women are extremely private people. They both gave me license to quote them, but with no names so I don’t get to give them credit for some of their wisdom.

We were having lunch in a beautiful restaurant in Astoria, Oregon when the subject of self-improvement came up. I explained my theory of having fun with the inner child and they both loved the concept. I told about how far in debt I was after my sister retired and left me with a huge company debt. It was a little embarrassing to admit, because both these women are very wealthy and they were shocked at how immature my sister and I had been with our money.

1. You are denying disorganization is affecting your life in a negative way.

2. You are comparing your organizational skills to reality show hoarders. 

3. You are blaming your family for the mess  you’re in.

4. You are minimizing the problem and the gifts you possess to solve them.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it speaks of the four defenses an alcoholic uses while he/she continues to drink. In Get Your Act Together, I wrote how SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) use the same defenses to remain in a mess.

There is really no difference except for the outcome… drunk or disorderly.

Like an alcoholic, once a SHE stops using the four defenses, she is then able to change. Could one of these defenses be holding you back from the life you want to live?

Praise 101

Giving and receiving compliments is truly an art that needs to be practiced if you want to become proficient at it. Praise is such a beautiful way to spread joy.

Do you like praise? When you get a compliment how do you react? Do you say something like, “Oh, this ol’ dress? I got it on sale ten years ago,” or do you accept the compliment gracefully? Do you love to give honest compliments and look for positive things to say that are true not only with your friends and family, but with strangers too?

Have you ever given a compliment to a friend and received no reaction? One time I raved about something to this guy who was responsible for doing a great job and I received no reaction; not a thank you, not a smile, nothing. (I’m glad I don’t give compliments to receive positive feedback.) I had to assume he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or perhaps he’s not comfortable with giving or receiving compliments. I guess I could ask his wife.

If you're like my friend and you want to improve on the art, I have a great idea for you; start complimenting yourself. Praise yourself when you do well, when you stick to your resolve and when you do the right thing especially when it’s a hard thing to do. Have you notice how interesting it is that often the right thing to do is hard to do? What a life lesson though. When you look back, those decisions to do the right thing when it was very difficult have always been filled with blessings. For instance, my decision to end a relationship that meant the world to me at the time has returned to me such power and joy that it tickles me to think the decision was so hard to make in the first place.

Looking for Praise in all the Wrong Places

I remember when I was losing weight for the Mouth Trap book, I wanted praise from Terry. When I didn’t get it, I had to think about it and realize he’s not a complimentary person. He’s not critical either and I think the two must go hand-in-hand. The other thing I had to figure out was why do I need a compliment from him? I realized I really don’t. My opinion of myself is enough.

How Many Rooms Have You Decluttered?

Okay, before you get all upset that you didn’t know February is National Decluttering Month and here it is the end of February and you didn’t get to partake of the celebration, there’s no such thing as National Decluttering Month.

I just wanted to get your attention. Cheap, I know. 

But what if it were? And what if you focused on organizing your closets, cupboards and drawers in the master suite for a start? Would that make you happy if they were organized and they only held what you love to wear? Here’s an experiment I did today and I thought I’d share it with you because it really opened my eyes and made me happy to find yet another way to get rid of what isn’t making me happy!

Use it or lose it!

Remember when it was fashionable to say, “Lose the belt,” meaning for the person to dump the belt because it didn’t look good or was out of fashion? Today I was in my closet and I spied a pair of leather boots I hadn’t worn for at least a year. That’s when that use of the verb to lose struck me. I decided I’d make a new rule, Use it or lose it.

When you read autobiographies of famous people who had absolutely horrible childhoods, but survived and are happy, productive and successful adults in spite of it, doesn’t it give you faith in knowing that each of us has a guidance system within?

In the cases of Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle, Jewel, Never Broken and Drew Barrymore Wildflower, these women survived unimaginable child abuse.

Now, as adults, they are beacons of light, proof that the Universe has your back if you’ll only become aware of the guidance that waits for your recognition. In every one of these autobiographies, these women had forgiven their parents, when it would be so hard to do! In that forgiveness they were able to use their God-given talents for the good of all.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is another example of a child having a father you’d like put in the slammer to rot, but Wayne was able to see clearly (part of the title of his final book) and pardon and even thank his father for his part in Wayne’s birth (sperm).

Reading forgiveness literature opens doors for those who have been unable to do that. Books like these with unbelievable stories of child abuse, can put into perspective petty grudges we might otherwise have and tend to rehearse from time-to-time, involving our parent’s parenting.

Do you love the thought of a romantic get-away up in the mountains in a rustic cabin?

What is it that draws us to want to go to one, or, better yet, have a cabin of our own?

Is it the thought that cabin life is simple, restful and peaceful? Does that thought of life is better at the cabin make you think of a crackling fire, the aroma of hot chili on the wood stove, the sound of the wind in the tall firs and no telephones? Peace and rest, away from the chaos of modern life definitely calls us to retreat and enjoy a simpler time.

There are romantic mountain cabin get-aways all over the Internet and just perusing the ads can slow your heart rate and let you breathe deeply. But life is better at the cabin is just a thought. Did you know you can mess with your mind and make it think you’re at a cabin when you’re not? Well you can! Our subconscious minds don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy and that truth is so much fun to play with.

You'll be shocked at how getting organized just a little will add great joy to you and your family because:

1.   You do 50% less work

2.   You know where everything is

3.   You keep appointments

4.    You’re on time

Sometimes things can get a little hectic during the holidays, especially if the gathering is at your house.

Here's a grand idea using children's imaginations to keep them busy for an hour or so before the feast is served. AND you'll end up with a festive holiday tablecloth that'll end up a valued keepsake.

All you need is a twin-size flat sheet, some butcher paper (or newspapers) and marker pens and you'll see what can happen in your home. Watch this short video and let your little artists take over.

Watch this DIY video and see how fun it is.

If you are a happy person, you know your very presence among others lights them up, even if 

they’re in a bad mood.

That old saying, “Misery loves company,” implies miserable people love to be with other miserable people, but it could just as well mean misery loves happy company. Now there’s scientific proof that happiness can be spread just like the flu!

There was an article in the paper about a study MIT and Harvard jointly conducted. The two prestigious schools discovered by using a formula that tracks the spread of infectious diseases like the flu, it could track the spread of happiness or sadness. They concluded both emotions spread like disease! We already know that laughter is contagious and I know I can cry when I see someone else crying. What this study can mean for us is we can spread joy or misery; it’s completely up to us.

Five years ago Terry’s daughter Kristi and her family came to stay with us for ten days. At the time the children were seven, nine and 12. The day they’d spent flying across the country from their home in Boston to our home in Woodland, Washington sent them straight to bed as soon as they arrived. Their bodies were still adjusting to the three hour time difference the next day. That morning I suggested we have what I termed a “being,” not a “doing” day. 

"the criteria for my kind of being day, is to love what you’re doing"

Wanting What Others Have Hurts You

“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.”

That quote is by Vernon Howard and he was probably never dazzled by brochures for fancy vacations or a catalogue from William Sonoma. We are continually tempted to buy what we don’t need. 

There was a recent ad on the Internet hawking the latest autumn purses (referred to as bags). It said in the email subject line: 9 Bags You Must Own This Fall. With suggestions like this, it’s no wonder we can hardly move in our closets!

Really the only thing we need to buy regularly is food and gas. Vernon would not be happy with some of my purchases. Like this crab hat my granddaughter Sophia is wearing. What was I thinking? I know, ‘I’ve gotta have it!’

Vernon’s quote resonates with SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) because we’ve experienced the clutter and resulting chaos that comes with not learning when enough is enough and being tempted by advertising. Yeah, we have duplicates of many items but that’s only because we lose an item and have to buy another. And yeah, we have more babies than BOs (Born Organized) because we never pay much attention to a calendar.