I'm coming to New York! Let's get together!

My son Michael and his family moved to Brooklyn last July and I'm going to visit them in November for Thanksgiving. Terry is going to stay home because of finances. (We shot our travel budget this summer going to Italy.) I'm flying on frequent flier points!

I was telling my friend Kathy Roberts (we've done two webinars together), that I'm going "back east" and she said, "Let's do a workshop together while you're here!" I said, "I leave to come home the day after Thanksgiving and doing a get organized workshop the week before Thanksgiving would be nuts!" She agreed, but then she said, "Stay longer and we'll do it after Thanksgiving."

Here's the back-and-forth dialogue after her comment:

1. Face the problem in full light

2. Assess what you can do to solve it

3. Create a plan of action

4. Do at least one action every day according to the plan

5. Be patient and persistent

6. Know you’re not alone

1. FACE IT  

It’s never too late to change your life. When you don’t like something in your life you have to be able to illuminate the cause of a problem and what part you’ve taken to create it in the first place. If you can't see your part in the problem, and blame someone else for it, you have no control over the change. You can’t get anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

One divorced woman wrote that she’d been married for 25 years and her husband had cheated on her more than once during the marriage and had ultimately left her for another woman. She said she hardly recognized her home or herself and she blamed him. Then she realized in spite of a cheating husband she’d successfully raised two happy children and she needed to stop worrying about what her husband did and focus on what she was going to do.

She figured he probably felt he’d had a good excuse for the affairs because she’d gained a bunch of weight and was not attractive, she hadn’t had the energy or desire to be intimate with him because of her unhealthy body, the house had gotten out of control and she was a full time homemaker and felt guilty for her shortcomings.

It occurred to her if she were to get her act together, she’d get her life back, her body back and her home back. She didn’t mention anything about wanting to get her ex back. It took her a little over a year to reach her goal and she was looking forward to flaunting her new self (in a size eight, mother-of-the-bride suit) at their daughter’s wedding.

William James said "Things are not as they are, but as we are." We really do see differently from anyone else. Every moment is seen from our perspective and that's a great thing. From our perspective, we are the center of our world and from that center, we have the power to choose how we see anything. The gift of freedom to perceive is priceless! It's the key to being happy.

While on a radio show an older woman called in and told that when she was very young a doctor told her parents that she was autistic. The parents had not heard of autism and they thought the expert said their daughter was “artistic.” Their child was obviously not displaying “normal” child behavior, so with all the care and concern of devoted parents to help their child thrive, they proceeded to fill their “artistic” daughter’s life with crayons, paints, art supplies and crafts. The woman is a college graduate, articulate, joyful and successful.

I know there are degrees of autism, but my point is; there is power in labels.

Using the internal timer

How many Novembers have you lived? Does the thought of November bring memories of family get-togethers centered on turkey feasts, or are they filled with chaotic recollections as the holidays loomed? Have you been organized in any of your Novembers? Are most of your November memories good ones?

If you live where there are seasons, you're lucky, because you get to enjoy the winter weather of November. November is a cozy time of year. Time for crackling fires, savory stews, homemade applesauce and roasted walnuts. It’s bundling up time, rosy cheek time and a great time to pretend you smoke because you can see your breath in the frigid air.

Mother Nature has many lessons to teach us in November. She uses this month as her reminder to us to streamline our homes. It’s her month for letting go of last year’s stuff by stripping a lot of her trees bare and putting her plants into a deep, winter coma. November reminds us to slow down, rest, and hibernate a little. She gives us longer nights and shorter days….hint, hint. She also uses November to remind us that life can be harsh sometimes, but it doesn’t last forever.

This photo was taken at a recent Halloween party at our neighbor's home. Read on and you'll find out what we used to make the very realistic beards.

In the video clip in this blog, my sister Peggy and I share some great last minute Halloween costumes and some very good advice.

(You'll notice Peggy has a beard too. In the first segment of the show she demonstrated how to make that beard. You just smear Karo syrup where a beard would be and then roll your face in fresh coffee grounds.) I've discovered a new way to create that beard and it's very "healthy." 

Halloween is wearing a costume. Halloween is scary. But the biggest thing Halloween is, is Halloween CANDY!

You know your kids are going to bring home a pillowcase full of Halloween CANDY, and you know you'll have CANDY left-over after the last witch leaves your porch.

So the question is, What can you do with all that Halloween CANDY?

In this video you'll see what our grandkids did with their haul one year. 

It was 5:30 pm and I hadn’t had a single “savoring moment” in my hour (I try to get in at least four moments per hour), so I asked Terry, “Do you have a few minutes before dinner to spend some “savoring time outside?”

He knows I do this and he said, “Sure!” And off we went hand-in-hand (savoring moment # one)! I wanted to show him our neighbor’s Fire Thorn bush while it was still in the setting sun. (From our kitchen window, it looked like a big, brilliant, red, exercise ball.) We walked to a vantage point on our property where it was in plain sight and I was thrilled to see the sun had continued to spotlight it (savoring moment # two)!

“Oh wow!” he said. (That’s about all I can ever get out of him, when he’s moved to exhilaration.) He ran back in the house to get his camera and shot this picture. 

Once he was satisfied with the shot he got, we left our view of the neighbor’s yard and headed up the steep hill to our drive-way which is 300 feet long leading to the main road. As we walked along the shiny, black pavement from an earlier rain, we both got engaged in the beauty of our little piece of God's earth.

Do you love to make a "To Do" list every day?

When you've established a routine, your daily housework becomes a habit and you don't have to make a To Do list for it or have 3x5 cards to remind you to do it. When you have an established routine, you're hardly ever too busy to do the next thing that needs to be done on a daily basis.

If your kids are grown and you've gotten used to the reduced workload, of raising a family, you've probably forgotten how busy young moms are these days. All it takes is to have one or more grandchildren for a few days and it all comes flying back to you what our busy moms are dealing with today.

One mom of four said, "When my husband comes home at the end of a long day and wonders what I've done all day, I figure if I can account for all four of his children, I've done my part." 

If you're a list maker, do you ever put things you’ve already done on a list, so you can cross them off. That's great if you do. We need all the sense of accomplishment we can get. That got me to thinking, what if we made a list of things we don't have to do today. It'd be very fun and give us a sense of relief!

Today, you don’t have to:

1. Rob a Bank

2. Jump off a Bridge

3. Join the Circus

4. Lock Your Kids in a Box Car

5. Run Off with the UPS Guy 

This is a sweet and inspiring letter from a successful, longtime SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive). It’s so well written, it deserves to be shared (with her permission). Enjoy her humor and SHEness.

Dearest Pam,

You and Peggy came into my life in the early eighties. I sat in the middle of a big, beautiful new house after our tenth corporate relocation, indulging in a well justified tantrum. (I sometimes fear this will be the episode my three now, adult daughters will bring up at my wake.) Not a pretty sight. I enrolled the girls in their new schools that day and took myself to a bookstore for purposes of covert procrastination. It was there where God lassoed me with a copy of Sidetracked Home Executives: from Pigpen to Paradise.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Through your words and your humor and your stories you mentored me, gave me sanity one 3 x 5 card at a time, and were, well...my
friends. The two of you reflected the relationship I had with my sister, except for the fact that we lived 1500 miles from each other. And I'd found myself again a stranger in a new city. I read every book you published again and again and sometimes remember your stories as things that happened to me. (Not a good sign.)

Why Not Turn Dreary into Fun?

Make memories you'll talk about for years to come.

Living in the northwest, we learn early on, we can’t let the rain dowse our fun outdoors. Just make sure you all have play clothes, so you don’t have to worry about messing up your good ones.

Yesterday I was waiting for Terry, standing outside JoAnn's Fabric (he hates to go into fabric stores as it reminds him of when he was little and getting in trouble while his mom was looking through Simplicity pattern books). It had been raining hard and the parking lot had many shallow puddles. I watched a young, harried mom with a sleeping infant in her arms and a two-year-old by the hand, heading into JoAnn's. She was hell bent for fabric. The two-year-old was thrilled with the puddles he managed to stomp in from the car to the store. It made me think, 'we're always going somewhere and what would it be like if we weren't?' What if we set out to have fun? Just think how inexpensive it would be to take your kids to a parking lot after a heavy rain and let them play! I wish you could have seen the joy in that child's face with that quick to the store!

Whether it's just misting or pouring cats and dogs make the most of the wet weather and play with your kids in the rain with these family-tested outdoor activities. 

1. Puddle Play

Mom, you usually discourage your kids from jumping in puddles, so they’ll be shocked and excited when you suggest a splashing contest. Get your play clothes and rain boots on and head out looking for the biggest puddles you can find. Let your kids get soaking wet! Let the child who makes the biggest spray, get to pick the movie the family will watch or be freed from some chore. Give points for the one who gets the wettest. If you’ve got dancers in the family, have them practice some steps they’ve learned.

COME ON Mom, get in the puddles with them! Motherhood is not a spectator sport. Let your kids splash you. All it takes is saying, “Don’t you splash me,” in a way they know you’re daring them to do it. Oh and just think how good a hot shower will feel after the fun!