When it comes to finances, we don't always make mature choices.

Have you made choices in your lifetime that caused consequences you didn’t like? We all have and that’s how we learn to be more careful as we grow up. (Second marriages, for example, are almost always better than the first ones, if we made a lousy choice the first time).

I recently took a much needed three-day vacation away from home with two girlfriends who are incredibly wise women. Both women are extremely private people. They both gave me license to quote them, but with no names so I don’t get to give them credit for some of their wisdom.

We were having lunch in a beautiful restaurant in Astoria, Oregon when the subject of self-improvement came up. I explained my theory of having fun with the inner child and they both loved the concept. I told about how far in debt I was after my sister retired and left me with a huge company debt. It was a little embarrassing to admit, because both these women are very wealthy and they were shocked at how immature my sister and I had been with our money.

1. You are denying disorganization is affecting your life in a negative way.

2. You are comparing your organizational skills to reality show hoarders. 

3. You are blaming your family for the mess  you’re in.

4. You are minimizing the problem and the gifts you possess to solve them.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it speaks of the four defenses an alcoholic uses while he/she continues to drink. In Get Your Act Together, I wrote how SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) use the same defenses to remain in a mess.

There is really no difference except for the outcome… drunk or disorderly.

Like an alcoholic, once a SHE stops using the four defenses, she is then able to change. Could one of these defenses be holding you back from the life you want to live?

Off Your Diet?

Splurge at the Mall?

House a Wreck?

The best laid plans of, well you know the rest of the saying, are generally messed up by an important part of you that just doesn't want to follow the plan.

I call that part of us the inner child. There is help and it's so easy to succeed with your best intentions, once you understand what's behind your failure to stick to your best intentions. 

In part three of this five-part video series, I share how I work with that part of me whom I call Nelly. Enjoy the video and see if what I share will work for you.

My sister Americans (I’ve been watching too many political speeches lately), why wait until thoughts of April 15 circle your mind like mad gnats on a glass of cheap wine?

You could get your tax return done now and get it in ahead of that date. Of course there’s always that blessed word extension! But if you’re a procrastinator, will the extension just add more days for you to put off what you could have accomplished back in January? Would it just be five more months of gnat swatting? If so read on.

Here’s a letter from a reformed tax paying procrastinator. Her story just might inspire you to get going now before the gnats come!

Praise 101

Giving and receiving compliments is truly an art that needs to be practiced if you want to become proficient at it. Praise is such a beautiful way to spread joy.

Do you like praise? When you get a compliment how do you react? Do you say something like, “Oh, this ol’ dress? I got it on sale ten years ago,” or do you accept the compliment gracefully? Do you love to give honest compliments and look for positive things to say that are true not only with your friends and family, but with strangers too?

Have you ever given a compliment to a friend and received no reaction? One time I raved about something to this guy who was responsible for doing a great job and I received no reaction; not a thank you, not a smile, nothing. (I’m glad I don’t give compliments to receive positive feedback.) I had to assume he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or perhaps he’s not comfortable with giving or receiving compliments. I guess I could ask his wife.

If you're like my friend and you want to improve on the art, I have a great idea for you; start complimenting yourself. Praise yourself when you do well, when you stick to your resolve and when you do the right thing especially when it’s a hard thing to do. Have you notice how interesting it is that often the right thing to do is hard to do? What a life lesson though. When you look back, those decisions to do the right thing when it was very difficult have always been filled with blessings. For instance, my decision to end a relationship that meant the world to me at the time has returned to me such power and joy that it tickles me to think the decision was so hard to make in the first place.

Looking for Praise in all the Wrong Places

I remember when I was losing weight for the Mouth Trap book, I wanted praise from Terry. When I didn’t get it, I had to think about it and realize he’s not a complimentary person. He’s not critical either and I think the two must go hand-in-hand. The other thing I had to figure out was why do I need a compliment from him? I realized I really don’t. My opinion of myself is enough.

Part Two in Weekly Series on Knowing Your Inner Child

Join me in the woods behind our house as I share my thoughts on how and why to be in a relationship with your inner child. In today's session (part two of a five-part series) I tell you how important it is to let your child within know you love and enjoy her, but are wise to her tricks when it comes to your self-imporvement. You are the parent to your inner child and she needs your guidance. 

I hope you enjoy the video.

Whad’ya Want?

To Look Younger or Just Not Look Older?

Did you happen to watched the Academy Awards the year Barbra Streisand sang a tribute to her close friend Marvin Hamlisch who had passed away? She sang The Way We Were but she wasn't the way she used to be. It's because she was trying to look the way she used to so she had a facelift and bless her heart, she looked wonderful, but when she sang, her lips didn’t move! 

She's a genius as a singer, actor and producer, so why did she put herself through that procedure? We’re the same age and she definitely looks younger than I do, but at least my lips move when I talk!

That’s what the steak house’s tantalizing email said.

$42 and you’ll be home on the range, with another person of your choice.

Start out with any “Steakhouse Starter or try the Wagon Wheel Sampler Platter for only $3 more!

The words on the colorful and tantalizing E-Flyer were carefully chosen by an in-house Mark Twain, accompanied with photos from an Ansel Adams-type photographer.

Just looking at the food (which is probably plastic) your mouth starts watering. You can smell the aroma of the meal being grilled on an open fire! You can hear the wine being poured and taste a plethora of hor’s d’oeuvres you imagine displayed on a miniature wagon wheel. 

No matter how crammed your in box gets, when an email like that comes alive on your cell or computer screen and it's around 5:30 pm, it’s just not fair! It can easily ambush any dinner prep.

Who wants to eat tuna casserole when you could drive downtown for fire-grilled chicken, BBQ ribs, crispy shrimp, grilled salmon or filet mignon sizzling on an open fire, accompanied by a loaded baked potato and a fresh garden salad, while finishing your feast off with any one of their decadent desserts?

“Honey?”

“What?”

“There’s a special on at Black Angus!”

“It’s not date night.”

“I know, but look at this!”

Okay, it has been two months since you made a New Year’s Resolution to stop or start doing something to make a change for good in 2016.

How's that working out for you?

How Many Rooms Have You Decluttered?

Okay, before you get all upset that you didn’t know February is National Decluttering Month and here it is the end of February and you didn’t get to partake of the celebration, there’s no such thing as National Decluttering Month.

I just wanted to get your attention. Cheap, I know. 

But what if it were? And what if you focused on organizing your closets, cupboards and drawers in the master suite for a start? Would that make you happy if they were organized and they only held what you love to wear? Here’s an experiment I did today and I thought I’d share it with you because it really opened my eyes and made me happy to find yet another way to get rid of what isn’t making me happy!

Use it or lose it!

Remember when it was fashionable to say, “Lose the belt,” meaning for the person to dump the belt because it didn’t look good or was out of fashion? Today I was in my closet and I spied a pair of leather boots I hadn’t worn for at least a year. That’s when that use of the verb to lose struck me. I decided I’d make a new rule, Use it or lose it.