You Take Yourself With You Wherever You Go

In this week's the Young@Heart article and video, you will feel so much better if you follow my advice.

I remember when I was a young mother there was a public service announcement on television that would come on around ten at night and the guy would say, “Do you know where your children are?” I remember thinking, ‘Duh, how could a good parent not know where their children are?’ (Recently I found out my son was often not where he said he was, but [ahemm] that’s not what I’m writing about.) I was interested in one of Flylady’s musing about “dreaming” of getting out of her childhood home as soon as she could and that she realized that getting out of that house only changed her physical location.

Somebody (it was either Shakespeare or Harrison Ford) said, “You take yourself with you wherever you go.” Hey wait a minute, I said that! It’s true and that’s what Marla did. She got out and took herself with her. Only until she realized that the only way to feel loved was to finally love herself was she able to make peace with her past and become a light of wisdom straight from her heart for all of us today.

Everything we can see, touch, hear, taste and smell is outside of us and we make judgments with our five senses about everything in our lives. If we don’t like what we see, hear, taste, touch or smell we have the power to change any of it and judging by the volumes of you-can-change-your-life books on the market (mine included) our society is certainly trying to do just that. The problem with self-help books is they won’t work if you don’t know yourself very well. “Do you know where your child is?” Ah, back to why I’m writing this.

Do you know where your (inner) child is?

In this week's the Young@Heart article and video, I show you some simple ways to be happier.

Stop Watching the News!

In this week's Young@Heart article and video, I share with you how if you stop watching the news if it upsets you, you’ll be happier for it.

Back in 1929 when the stock market crashed, we didn’t have CNN or FOX or news or the Internet. Our grandparents (or great grandparents in some cases) didn’t get over-fed the news 24-7. They got a newspaper once a day (maybe) and they listened to the radio (maybe).

Because of this age of information we can be (if we choose) bombarded with bad news because the access is as close as our finger on the clicker or the mouse on our computer. It’s one thing to be aware of what is going on in the world, our country and our community, but it’s quite another to watch the reruns and regurgitated opinions of “the experts” as they re-hash the re-runs while we click to another channel to watch the news covered from a different camera angle.

The GOOD NEWS is that to the media, the only newsworthy material is what is negative AND sensational. Dog Bites Man, is not “news.” Man Bites Dog (and don’t forget to put music behind the story) is. (I learned that from my journalist husband.) It is the extraordinary that makes “the news.” So most everything you see on the news is unusual and extraordinary. IT IS NOT THE NORM. But we in our naivety (or stupidity) allow our sweet minds to watch what happened not once but on the hour until the next day when the next batch of bad news is ready. How many times do you have to watch the bank robber caught on tape? Isn’t once enough?

We cause ourselves needless suffering

I know we’re human and most of us are naturally curious about bad news.

In this week's the Young@Heart article and video, I share with you how cutting out a few happiness sappers you can easily raise your happiness quotient.

Help Control Your Weight With Your Cell Phone

Yesterday, I went to Cramco (Costco). We call it Cramco because we usually cram our trunk full, put stuff in the back seats, in the passenger’s foot space and on the passenger’s lap. After more than seven years of stopping Nelly (my indulgent inner child) from having the big, 12” all beef polish sausage on a bun they sell for just $1.50 with a 20 ounce soft drink, I caved. For seven years I’d drooled looking at the poster of that meal, with mustard, catsup, onions and relish running the length of the dog and I always managed to distract Nelly.

I don’t know what came over me; I wasn’t even hungry yet. I know Nelly was especially attentive the night before when our neighbor told about the wondrous time they had in Leavenworth, Washington this last weekend. Leavenworth is one of the top 10 Oktoberfests in the US. I can’t think the word “Oktoberfest” and not think about sausage! It just doesn’t happen. So perhaps sausage was still on my mind when the poster caught my attention and reeled me in for the buy and subsequent feast.

The food concession at our Cramco in Vancouver, Washington is located on the way out of the store, so I’ve noticed shoppers park their over-loaded, over-sized carts while they order and eat their food before heading home with their treasures. Before I knew it I’d parked and was standing in line. My heart was racing as I looked at the other choices. A chocolate frozen yogurt for $1.35 (another poster I’d drooled over many times).

The hits keep coming!

In this week's the Young@Heart article and video, I share with you the three most important words in my vocabulary when it comes to conquering negative thoughts.

There Are No Disorganized Spiders

I was watching what I call a “fall” spider make its web on our deck and I wondered if it were a boy or a girl. I guess I could Google which one does that work, but that’s not really the point of my essay today. What really got Nelly (my inner child) and me thinking about was; are there any disorganized spiders? As I watched this busy spider making this masterpiece in silk, as if she’d (I’m going to assume it was a girl) thoroughly studied some manual on some website about web making, I thought back to see if I could ever remember seeing a rectangular web filled with heart-shaped lines or triangular webs with crosses all around or webs in rainbow colors shaped like wedding cakes? I couldn’t, and a God breeze swept over me with the realization that within that busy little girl was genius! I also had to conclude there are no disorganized spiders. (I don’t think they have as much fun as we do.)

First, this spider had to start with a plan passed down from generation to generation. If she didn’t, her web would be different and every “fall” spider web is constructed from the same blue print. I Googled, “How do spiders make a web?” (Sometimes I’m embarrassed to ask Google questions, thinking it might be a stupid question. I’m always happy when I see that others before me have wondered the same “stupid” things. I’ll tell you in a minute what I found out.) Second, she had to follow that plan. What a fresh idea! Start with a tried and true plan and follow it! Buy a calendar and a watch and use them. Mind the flight plan if you follow Flylady.

The spider (and you) have choices to make

Google told me the spider does have conscious choices to make when she’s making her web.

In this week's the Young@Heart article and video, I take you on a journey to the Organized Islands.

Forgive a Potato?

In this week's the Young@ Heart article and video, I wrote about an essay on forgiveness. Last week you saw the result of that essay in the Potato Report.

Is there anything yuckier than a rotten potato? You know that saying, “one rotten apple spoils the barrel”? Well give me a rotten apple any day! One rotten potato would smell way worse than a barrel of rotten apples. One potato would affect the whole bag, but that usually doesn’t happen because of the smell! I don’t think I could let a whole bag “go” just because the stench of one rotten potato is enough for a call to action.

I got an email from a woman who said her teacher (spiritual) asked the students to bring a clear plastic sack of potatoes to class. Each potato representing someone they hadn’t forgiven in life. In class they were asked to write the name of each person they had not forgiven on each potato. Some of the bags were quite heavy.

They were asked to carry their bag with them everywhere, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work until they could forgive the people the potatoes represented. The woman wrote, “The hassle of lugging my bag of unforgiven people around, made it clear, what a weight I was carrying spiritually, and how I had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, leaving it in embarrassing places.”

Disgusting gunk

Naturally, the condition of the potatoes would deteriorate to a disgusting gunk if you didn’t let go and forgive. This is a great metaphor for the price we pay for holding onto our grievances toward others.

Set your Emostat on "Happy"

In this week's Young@Heart article and video, I wrote about setting our intention to be happy regardless of our circumstances.

I wonder if the guy who invented the thermostat got the idea from his own emotional meter. Consider an emostat. Instead of temperatures imagine words on a meter with emotions like miserable, overwhelmed, worried, desperate, optimistic, hopeful, happy, and blissful.

When I think about the happy people I know personally, one of the attributes they seem to have in common is a wonderful outlook on life. It’s like they have an emostat that’s programmed for joy and contentment no matter what happens to them. Unfortunately many of us have emostats set on negative emotions, but we can always reprogram them for happy by deciding to practice being joyful regardless of the forces outside of us. What’s interesting about setting an intention of being happy all the time, is when something pulls you from that place you know it and you can kick in and put yourself back on happy. Abraham Lincoln said: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Is your emostat properly adjusted?

There’s no guesswork in knowing your emostat is off. When you realize it consider these four things first; Am I thirsty? Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I need some fresh air? Usually one of those four deficiencies will affect your emostat. When those four elements are taken seriously and taken care of, it’s much easier to stay on happy.