A few years ago, we took a vacation I’ll never forget.

          During that vacation, I took the six days off from the 21st century and never once looked at a computer. I didn’t answer anyone’s emails or write my weekly blogs for the last week of the month we were in. I just lived in what I’ll call a techless world. Yes, I was party to using the GPS while we “Yelped” our way around San Diego and yeah, once I talked on Terry’s cell phone. Oh and yes, I used the computer timer on the oven in our condo we lived in for a week, but the rest of the time I enjoyed the real world right in front of me

          One of the highlights of the respite was having lunch with one of Terry’s professors from WSU. Mr. Mott made a profound and lasting impression on my husband. (Thank you Mr. Mott.) Terry has so much respect for the man he can’t bring himself to call him Robert or, God forbid, Bob. Mr. Mott and his wife Edie are in their nineties and both sharp mentally, mobile and healthy.

Guests of Marla and Robert

We spent that vacation as guests of Flylady and her husband Robert. There were times when I felt a little like a beloved family dog. Marla, Robert and Terry spent a great deal of our living room time on their thingamajigs of choice, while I sat and talked to myself, read a little, wrote on a yellow pad and played "retro" Solitaire. (That’s a game you play with a standard deck of real playing cards, dealt onto a real table.)

You are Your Own Best Teacher

Could you teach another person the best way to fall asleep? I don’t think so. I’m an expert at sleeping, but my procedure for drifting off is unique to only me. Terry says I fall asleep within four or five minutes from the moment I put my head on my pillow. If I tried to impose my falling asleep techniques on you I would be remiss. 

Only you can figure out the best way to fall asleep. Sure I could give you some suggestions like, don’t have a television set in your room, turn off the lights and don’t have any electronically glowing digits announcing the exact time, but as far as the ritual that will put you to sleep, it has to be yours alone.

I could not fall asleep in the nude (I’ve tried it and every time, I’ve ended up putting pajamas on.) Mind you I didn’t say nightgown. I can’t sleep in nightgowns because the thought that it will end up all bunched up around my sweaty armpits by morning keeps me awake. I have to have pajamas on and the waist can’t be too tight and I don’t like button up tops because the buttons get between my breasts and bug me.

Just Another Day in a Basic Week Plan

                but a Very Valuable One...Planning Day

Do you have a certain day each week that you take care of items on this list?

pay bills

answer mail

write thank you notes

make appointments

organize your office (filing paperwork etc.)

do bookwork

plan fun outings

How would you feel, if all those important elements of your life were organized on a weekly basis?

When you are organized, you are on top of everything from the boring stuff you tend to put off to the fun of not missing out on events that are on certain dates. How many times have you missed out, because you didn’t plan it?

On my Planning Day, my husband and I coordinate calendars so we know about each other’s commitments, if they affect us. I spend from two to five hours on that list above. My Planning Day has developed into a very contemplative day.

For instance, when I pay my bills, I focus on how grateful I am to have the services and objects in my life that make it such a wonderful life. When I write my weeks’ worth of thank you notes, I think about each person I’m thanking and I visualize each one being happy and content. When I file paperwork, I am grateful for the organizing tools at our disposal that make it so easy to be organized. Being organized doesn’t cramp your spontaneity; it sets the stage for you to be even more creative.

When you claim a specific day of the week to plan, and then you stick to that regularly, you’ll begin to see that you can actually set aside tasks that fit into your weekly work schedule. In other words, you can have a pile of papers to file once a week if you’ll do it. You can add to a list of people to thank, if you’ll really do it once a week. It’s only when you don’t do what you’ve piled up for the week, that’ll you get into trouble.

21 Days to establish a habit

My kind of plan!

Are you following a weekly plan that helps you run a cozy, organized home?

When my sister Peggy and I developed the infamous, get organized 3x5 card file system outlined in our book Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise, we created a weekly plan that included a “free day.”

On that special day, we could stay in our pajamas all day, eat over the sink and slouch around and do nothing if we wanted to. I still have that day only I call it My Day. I do what I want and I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I pretend it’s my birthday to get into the mood.

The interesting thing I’ve discovered over the years of enjoying My Day is that I accomplish so much in the name of being selfish about doing what I want to do! It continues to amaze me that what I’ve been preaching about for 40 years is profoundly true.

Your attitude is way more important than fact,

Getting rid of clutter leads to finding peace within.

Years ago I wrote about being mindful of the interrupting thoughts that come up when you’re doing boring housecleaning jobs like folding laundry or vacuuming and dusting. Using “make the bed” as an example of a boring job, I set my stopwatch and began making it, ready to catch that first mental interruption.  Six seconds in, the thought came, ‘there’s pie in the refrigerator.’

In the course of the four-minute job, my mind came up with 17 suggestions of other things to do! Here’s a similar result from Debra Biddle Linn, one of my readers:

Pam, I did the experiment of starting a boring job and seeing how quickly my mind was interrupted by wanting to do something else. I was folding laundry, the whites. I suddenly wanted to go online and find some T-shirts and order them for my husband to replace some of the old holy ones he has. I made myself stop those thoughts and keep going. Then I thought of a trip some friends went on recently, and wanted to go look online and find information about a tour for ourselves. (Stopped that one too). I think it will really help to start becoming aware of how my mind acts when doing routine housework.

It’s Time to Do it Again!

When I set out each morning to write my blog for the day, my main goal is to be lighthearted and joyful and to fill my screen with words that uplift and hopefully bring positive joy and inspiration to those of you who have graciously given me your email. I can’t do that today! I’m sorry in advance. I guess once in a while a guy just has to let negative thoughts eke out.

First off, I feel just like a cow in a herd of Holsteins who’s been thoughtlessly following the herd. At least in my scenario, I’m an American cow with rights guaranteed to me by the Constitution. I’d almost rather be cow, because if I were, I wouldn’t have to pay any attention to the issue I’m going to write about… Daylight Savings Time (DST).

I should really love DST because if it weren’t for it, my sister and I would not have written Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise. We were stuck in a motel in eastern Washington, because we missed our flight due to the time change. Flights went our every three days, so we were held hostage in a very creative way. Knowing us, we would never have been focused enough to start writing that book. It would have been an eternal down-the-road project, but in that three days, we wrote three chapters and as they say, “the rest is history.”  

Key # 3 Plan of Action

Now that you’ve got the first two keys to being organized (if you didn't get a chance to read them just click on them here  Part ONE,  Part TWO ),  making a decision to do it and becoming committed to that decision for the right reason(s), the third key is a plan of action. 

The simple plan is in 3-Ds:

Declutter, Delegate and Do it!

Declutter

Just like Flylady says, “You can’t organize clutter,” the sooner you get everything out of your house that doesn’t make you feel good, the better. On the subject of what makes you happy, here’s a good exercise to try.

Pick a room, any room and focus on one part of that room like a shelf or table; something that’s holding stuff. Pretend the room is on fire and in your mind, make a note of what you’d take with you (pretend you only have about 10 seconds because the flames are leaping at you and threatening to swallow you up).

As I wrote this I looked at a shelf in my office and discovered about five things on it that would   not   be worth saving. I'll get rid of them.

Putting your stuff through the fire test will help you sweep your home clean of the stuff that doesn’t make you happy. 

 Delegate

3 Keys to Having an Organized Home

Part two

As I said earlier, but it bears repeating, in the 40 years that I’ve been helping women who were desperately disorganized, there has been a common thread that connects them. It’s a thread of love, caring, compassion and creativity and a desire to have an organized home and a happy family. Many have told me personally they didn’t think they could get organized. Many had given up, until a light went on in a blessed AHA moment.

Be sure to read Key #1 Decision if you haven’t already. 

This blog is about commitment. I hope you’ve done the assignment for Key #1 and are ready for Key #2. The women I’ve met over the years who suddenly realized it was possible to have a clean, cozy organized home, discovered a dormant spark just waiting to be ignited. The spark is usually flamed because of commitment.

Key # 2 Commitment

Once you’ve made your decision to have an organized home, be committed to it. The best way to stay committed to anything is to go into it for the right reasons. If you got married because your husband was a good dancer and he looked like George Clooney, you’re probably not still married to the handsome hoofer.

I was 35 years old when I finally made the decision to get organized for the right reason. All my futile attempts prior to that were based on trying to make my husband, my mom and my friends think well of me. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

My mouth gets me into more trouble than any other hole in my body.

That’s the very first line in my book The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here! Thank goodness we only have one mouth. How many times have you wished that you didn’t say that, or didn’t eat or drink that?

I’m sure there’s a legitimate reason why we were made with one mouth and two ears, instead of the other way around. Maybe there’s a clue here to the ratio of use. What if, just for today, we listen more than we speak? How do you think you’d feel tonight when you go to bed?

We’ve been blessed with the precious gift of speech, but this gift (as with every gift) can be abused and come back to bite us. Balancing speaking and listening will serve you in great ways. I’m suggesting we use our mouths half as much as we use our ears (just for today).

Here are 6 benefits to speaking less and listening more. At the end of my blog, I’ll share how I stopped nagging as a young, single mom of three children ages 4, 9 and 12.

     1.   Accomplish more

 As long as your goal is to make your world a better place, doing will always beat speaking unless you’re Oprah. When your focus switches from talking to doing a household chore, you’ll accomplish so much more. When you speak less, you naturally do more. If you could hush up for five minutes a day, in a month you’ll have given yourself two and a half hours of quiet action time. Just like a picture is worth a thousand words, so is a hug, a home-cooked dinner, a clean bathroom, fresh laundry and a hundred other acts of love.

      2.   What’s important shows up

You’ve got a smart phone, so who’s the smartest, you or the phone? You’re the smart one if you limit your use to what serves you and uplifts you. Information overload created by the Internet is a choice. You get to decide how much of your time is going to be spent on the Internet or yakking on the phone. The next time you start to call someone, ask yourself, “Is this really important or will I be talking just to hear my own voice?” If it isn’t important or you miss hearing your voice, hang up and write a thank you note to someone you love and as you write, say the words out loud.

      3.   Reduces stress

Think of something you can do with your family, in silence. See what happens if you and your mate go for a walk without talking or watch the sunset without comment or eat a speechless meal. Terry and I play a card game with friends that involves dealing many different hands starting with each person getting one card up to one hand where each person gets 13 cards. One of the hands is declared a silent hand and no one is allowed to speak until the next deal. It always ends up in laughter and it’s usually a woman who breaks the silence!

Back in my SLOB days I answered "yes" to each of those questions, but I changed! In fact, I’m Flylady’s mentor and if you’ve followed her you know our connection, for she openly shares the fact that it was my sister’s and my books that changed her life. 

The zones in her flight plan were created by my sister and me and they were what ultimately gave us clarity and focus. Flylady and I have worked together and helped each other over the years with our main goal to help you get organized just enough to please you.

We’ve often talked about the primary purpose of our work, which is to help you love the miracle you are and secondarily show you the basics to be organized.

Which brings me to the question I posed in the title of my blog; would you rather be organized or be happy?