Do you like to be on the receiving end of a surprise?

A “little” surprise is like being outside on a chilly, spring morning without a coat when the sun pops out from behind a big cloud and warms your back. Like Mother Nature executing one of her random acts of kindness. Here's a trio of daffodils getting their little backs warmed. Just getting this photo from my photographer husband was a little surprise that made me smile!

Most people don't like those big deal birthday bombshells where you walk into your house and the whole neighborhood yells “surprise,” or those horrid surprises on your credit card statement, right after Christmas. 

This blog is about the times when your husband comes home from work with a single rose for you or your child surprises you by doing a chore you didn’t ask him or her to do.

If you thought to yourself, ‘Ha, Carl’d never come home with a single rose for me,’ or Jenny wouldn’t lift a finger if I didn’t ask her to, maybe you need to ask yourself when was the last time you surprised Carl or helped Jenny with a chore?

1. You are denying disorganization is affecting your life in a negative way.

2. You are comparing your organizational skills to reality show hoarders. 

3. You are blaming your family for the mess you’re in.

4. You are minimizing the problem and the gifts you possess to solve them.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it speaks of the four defenses an alcoholic uses while he/she continues to drink. In Get Your Act Together, I wrote how SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) use the same defenses to remain in a mess.

There is really no difference except for the outcome… drunk or disorderly.

Like an alcoholic, once a SHE stops using the four defenses, she is then able to change. Could one of these defenses be holding you back from the life you want to live?

Denial 

You probably don’t deny you’re in a mess, but I know when I was living in chaos, I acted like it didn’t bother me. Haven’t you heard the classic messy person’s excuse for a messy desk say, “I know where everything is on my desk!” Yeah right! Denial! 

I also remember a constant desire to get out of the house and go play. My three kids and I spent much of our time outside where I didn’t have to face the mess in the house. While at the park it was easy to deny I had a problem, but I always had to come home to the truth.

Rationalization

On September 29, 2015 we officially opened Club Organized.

Would you like to be in Club Organized and get organized just enough to please YOU?

Good, because I’ve started an exclusive club for you, and not just anyone can join. You'll have to pass an admissions exam. As long as you can answer yes to at least five of the scenarios in the exam below you can be in the club. No BOs (born organized) allowed.

Of course we won’t ever have meetings (we’re all too busy and we'd only forget when they were!) and there won’t be dues or uniforms or secret handshakes, but we’ll all know we belong.

And we just might start having an annual convention here in Woodland, Washington. We’ll be a sisterhood of SLOBS (remember SLOB stands for Spontaneous, Lighthearted, Optimistic and Beloved) and we’ll be bound together by our love for our families and our desire to have clean, cozy, peaceful homes.

Here’s the test I promised you. Don't forget, if you can honestly answer yes to five of these SHE scenarios, you’re in the club! If you can answer yes to 10 of them you're eligible for admission into the highly coveted DE status (Deficiency Expert) of the club and you’ll receive all the goodies that go along with it (as soon as I figure out what they’ll be).

CLUB ORGANIZED ADMISSIONS EXAM

It's hard to be happy if you don't feel good.

 

When exercise is part of your daily routine, you are healthier and happier than living a sedentary life. But it has to be programmed into your routine or, you know, you won’t do it. Recently Terry and I were surrounded by more than five hundred happy, healthy people who came together for fun and exercise. You can see the health in many who participated and you know they have exercise as part of their daily routines.

On Saturday morning, the day before Easter, we took part in Woodland, Washington’s annual Tulip Trot. We walked 1,968,505 inches from the Holland America Bulb Farm on a loop that took us along the dike that keeps the Lewis River and the Columbia River from turning the tulips into tulip soup.

If you wonder why I used inches to tell you how far we walked, it’s because I wanted it to sound impressive. I don’t think it’s any different than converting miles into kilometers. Runners love to brag about running 5Ks and 10Ks (not because they use the metric system, but because it just sounds like more). A 5K run is only 3.10 miles and it’s just not as impressive as saying 5Ks. You never hear a marathoner say she ran 42 Ks because 26.2 miles is impressive enough and besides, we all know that a marathon is 26.2 miles so she doesn’t have to say anything except the word, MARATHON. And, us non-runners’ brains can’t conceive of running 6.2 miles let alone 20 more after that, so all we really need to hear to be impressed is just the word.

Terry was the self-proclaimed official photographer of this year’s Tulip Trot and the weather was a photographer’s dream, as you’ll see in the photo’s he took. There were some angry clouds threatening to dampen the trot, yet it never happened, and the black and gray clouds against the brilliant tulips were stunning.

Weight Watchers Says I Should Weigh 500 Pounds!

To lose weight and keep it off you must want to lose weight so that you’ll feel better, look better and be healthy. In order to experience the change you want, being aware of what you’re thinking is crucial. I’m working with a young woman who is slashing carbs from her life and because I’ve been through the minefield of thoughts that occur when one cuts addictive carbs (especially sugar) out of one’s diet, I’m able to be a critical step ahead of what she’ll most likely encounter on her journey to stay on a healthy diet and what she’ll confront is her thinking.

Reason 1   If you were on a high fat, low carb diet, you’d never count calories and you could cut the amount of your exercise you do in half and lose weight.

Weight Watchers is good at addressing the psychological issues of dieting and when I was attending those meetings I found that valuable, however I no longer agree with the WW theory of calories-in-calories-out, because it just isn’t true. If it were, I’d weigh about 500 pounds today!

Reason 2 If you are disciplined.

I was a strict disciplinarian with my three children and they learned at a very early age, to behave with good manners, eat at the table like ladies and gentlemen and, mind without a countdown to some unknown penalty. That education I provided for them has served them well.

Did you know that a daily routine that directs your day and leaves you organized with lots of free time to be spontaneous and play, is filled with good habits? It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Of course the opposite is true too.

A day that lacks a collection of good habits and is filled with a bunch of bad ones will leave you frustrated and pooped at the end of the day. But once you’ve established a daily routine filled with good habits, you’ll see how fun and easy it is to be organized.

Once you see how making a good habit is so easy (it just takes time), you can handle more than one new habit at a time.
Baby stepping into change is good, but there comes a time when you have to grow up, if you intend to thrive. Once a bird learns how to fly, it flies; it doesn’t flutter and flop around for years complaining to its flock that it struggles to fly.

If you’ve told me or Flylady you’re fluttering, it’s time to stop it and find out what’s wrong with your wings. I can tell you, most likely your wings are fine, it’s what’s in your head that needs changing. There are thoughts you’ve collected in your life that have become habitual thoughts and they’re the ones that wear you down and keep you from succeeding. They are thoughts you’ve thought so often you don’t even realize you’re thinking them.
 

Set Priorities Learn to Say No!

Life is really, really busy for all of us. Whether you’re running a business, going to school, dealing with keeping the house clean and enjoying family, friends and loved ones, it’s important to learn how to prioritize. That’s why being organized, just enough to please you, starts with knowing what’s important to you.

Prioritizing can be difficult because it requires you to be aware of what you really want out of life. It requires you to be mindful of what’s important and have the ability to say no to what isn't.

In Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise, I wrote:

We were afraid to say no for fear of being stamped uncooperative. We needed the approval of others, and saying yes was one way to get it. In that first week of soul-searching, we made the astonishing discovery that we needed to give others the opportunity to be praised. By leaving some of the work for others, we also were leaving them a chance to get the credit. So, charitably, we posted a sign by our phones that read, in capital letter, “SAY NO!” and from that day on, we rejoiced in our freedom to decline.

Personally, I still dislike saying no. I want to help everyone. I want to be everywhere. I don’t want to miss out on something that could be a really good opportunity. But in order to be a loving wife, mother and friend and an inspired writer, I HAVE to say no.

In The Joy of Being Disorganized, I had this to say about saying no.

Is an oak tree organized?

That might seem like a dumb question, but I don’t think it is. It’s just that we don’t think that an object that appears to do nothing could have any organizing qualities.

Yet this tree runs on an unwritten agenda that follows a brand of order we can’t even begin to imagine.

This tree may look a little disorganized with her branches going every which way and broken limbs dangling in disrepair. But she isn’t bothered by appearances and it has nothing to do with her organizing skills.

This tree doesn’t need a watch to know what time it is or a calendar to know what day it is. Quite frankly Scarlet, she doesn’t give a damn because she’s organized in a way that would take volumes of To Do lists to accomplish what she does. Of course this tree is organized and just because she appears to do nothing, doesn’t mean she’s not busier than we ever stop to consider.

The Farewell Wearing Ceremony

Spring is what I call ex-husband season. Mine was always unpredictable and the only thing predictable about him was his unpredictability. Before you unconsciously store the warm sweaters, knits and jackets that are for colder days, to make room in your closet for your spring clothes, remember how ex-husbandy spring’s weather can be and join me in a few Farewell Wearing Ceremonies.

What’s a Farewell Wearing Ceremony? It was coined by my good friend Krista. She’s very organized and she always looks great in her clothes. I see her once a week because we sing in a chorus together. She shared with me this fabulous idea she partakes in regularly to keep her wardrobe reflecting just what she loves and therefore wears. I just had to tell you about it, before you unconsciously store your warmer clothes that perhaps have seen better days. 

Krista is always looking for items of clothing she doesn’t wear regularly (those articles in your closet or dresser drawers, you keep passing over for various reasons, ending up picking something you really want to wear). Say she chooses a sweater she hasn’t worn in a couple of months, she puts it on and wears it for the day. (She often wears such garments to our chorus rehearsals and had a jacket that was being worn for its Farewell Wearing when she told me about this.)

During the day of wearing the sweater, she remembers as much about it as she can; where she bought it or who gave it to her. She thinks about all the times she has worn it, and if there were special occasions, she pulls up specifics about those events and relishes the fun she had.

She also talks to it and thanks it for its service. 

 Saved by a Compliment

The Magic of Habit

           Do you know how valuable it is to have a daily routine that directs your day and leaves you organized with lots of free time to play? I’m sure you do, or you wouldn’t be attracted to Flylady and me. But there are some daily routines that direct your day right into the ditch and you wonder what happened. That kind of daily routine is fueled by sneaky habit patterns of thought that disrupt your day and cause you to experience less than what you deserve.

 What Do You Think You’re Doing?

                                                  Remember your mom asking you, “What do you think you’re doing?” Usually when she did, she’d probably caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to do. That’s what moms are for and we ask that same question of our children when we catch them being sneaky. Now that you’re an adult, have you noticed that you can catch yourself doing something you don’t want to do? What do you do then? Do you let yourself carry out the action or do you stop yourself? 

 Habits, Good or Bad Cause Circumstances

Whether We Like Them or Not