Learn a Life Lesson from it and It’ll go Away!

Your clutter has something important to tell you.

If you follow a religion, do you think the guy who started yours had too much stuff? Of course he didn’t. Jesus, Moses, Mohamad, Buddha, Krishna, none of them was bothered by owning too much stuff! So here you are today, sick of your clutter, trying to find peace and joy in your day, as you fight over clutter, look for it, stash it, rearrange it, dust it, and cage yourself in chaos and frustration.

Your clutter will continue to get in the way of your peace until you learn a very important life lesson, letting go.   Here’s an excerpt from my latest book, The Joy of Being Disorganized:

Our lives are hectic in this 21^st century, which makes establishing peace in our homes more of a necessity than ever. We need a sanctuary from the frenzy. When our homes make us feel safe and cozy, they become a refuge where we can recharge our spirits that can get pulled in so many directions out in the world.

Peace is a personal matter. What defines peace for me may not come close to your definition. When I think of peace, a lot of “R” words fly around in my mind—like release, rejuvenate, refresh, relax, and rest. Whatever your definition of peace, consider that you are not just a homemaker or a housekeeper, you are a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. The tone of your home rests in your hands. That’s a tall order, but when you reduce the clutter in your home, it’s much easier to keep the peace.

You have the right to live in it “joy” fully and “peace” fully.

You’re,

Probably in your jammies or you slept in workout clothes 

You’ve got “rooster” hair and raccoon eyes and you don’t smell like a rose 

You played Candy Crush Saga until midnight, or one

It’s amazing how the time just flies when you’re havin’ fun 

It's so much fun getting to know some of you on a personal basis through the consultations I’m now doing through the summer. I’ve learned so much about how alike we all are in our SHEness (Sidetracked Home Executive-ness). To learn more about a consultation please go to www.cluborganized.com  then to the Get Organized tab.

I recently talked to a very fun-loving and brilliant SHE named Pat, who emailed an update a few weeks after our talk. She has been gracious to let me share her thoughts. 

She said, “I enjoy creating a mess. That's part of the trouble I had a long time ago; I couldn't understand why I should clean up such tiny messes, when it felt so fun to clean up a big mess. Unfortunately, after a while I just kept putting off the cleaning up until it was too big a mess to clean up!”

When I read that comment, it made me think about the Ta Da affect we SHEs love. I thought about what Pat said about liking to make a mess because it’s fun to clean up! I liked it too. I remember when Mr. Cranky (my first husband) would go on the road (he was a traveling salesman) I’d let the house unravel. It was soothing and relaxing to have him gone. He’d be gone four days at a time and that’s enough time to create some very big messes that verged on scary!

Give it up

When my sister and I got organized, we both discovered we had to let go of the need for a Ta Da moment. There’s no Ta Da in a little clean-up, so we have to get used to mini Ta Da moments.

Is your kitchen streamlined, efficient and a joy to cook in? A couple of weeks ago, I took you on a pity trip and so many of you went with me! I loved all your responses and I think the “trip” helped many pare down the contents of their clothes closets! You all are so fun! If you didn’t take the pity trip with me and if your clothes closet contains more than what you love and wear today be sure and read my blog, Let’s Take a Pity Trip .

Today I’m throwing a pity party and I hope you’ll have one too.This exercise is designed to help you dejunk your kitchen. Let’s pretend we’re going to throw a huge dinner party, only, just like on the pity trip you have to pretend you’re disadvantaged and this party is going to be as wretched as you can make it. 

You’ll be Serving Bad Food

First, you’ll need to search in the cupboards and freezer for old food. You know any cans or packaged products with words like “best by 7/14,” and frozen stuff you don’t recognize (and never will). Of course all the bad food needs to go in the garbage, but there’s nothing stopping you from pretending you’re going to make a giant and disgusting casserole out of all of it for the big pity event. 

Second, you’re going to look at all your serving dishes with new eyes. Are there bowls, and plates that you never use, not even during the holidays? Are your glasses foggy from age? A good way to look at your stuff with new eyes is to pretend you’re at a thrift store and ask yourself, as you look at each plate, bowl and glass, “would I buy this?” See if you can fill a big garbage bag with kitchen utensils, silverware, glasses, mugs, chipped bowls and plates, and pans you haven’t used since 7/05. 

On the 4^th of July of this year, Terry and I had a dinner party for two other couples. As I was looking in my kitchen cupboards with entertaining in mind, I realized there were so many serving pieces I just don’t use anymore and I promised myself that after the party, I was going to dejunk my kitchen of them. That’s when I decided to pretend to have a pity party. It helped me get to the bottom of why I wasn’t using a lot of what I passed over in preparing for the 4^th.

Go Backwards

WHAT??!!  How can I possibly be suggesting things to do NOW for Christmas...it's just under 180 days away?

And that's exactly the point; start doing things now and you'll have the smoothest, easiest holiday time you've ever had.

I asked one of our sister SHEs, Greta Heddy,  for some help. Here's what she wrote: 

I know it seems early for us SHEs, but you might want to start now so you'll be ready for Christmas or Chanukah. If you’re like me, you have a vague idea of what to do, but never get around to it until December is upon you. Here are seven things you, I mean, we can do right now to be organized for Christmas!

1.  Gifts  List everyone you want to give gifts to. Family, friends, letter carrier, hair dresser, whoever. If you know what you're getting them, great! (Consider cash and use Pam’s Right on the Money Stickers. Write it down beside each name. Organize any gifts you already have. Get boxes, label them, and hide them where no one will find them except you. Wrap and label each gift when you buy it.

2.  Budget  Set a dollar limit for each person. My husband and I always had a $100 limit for each child. As I shopped, I knew when to stop. It made buying and looking for bargains much more fun. Oh – and add in extra money for postage and shipping. If you are traveling this December, remember the cost of plane tickets or other travel expenses. budget

JoAnne, who failed to look at a calendar and celebrated Father’s Day one whole week EARLY. She is here by awarded the Club Organized Freedom Award! Here’s her story in her own words.

If we’d just look at a calendar every day as part of our morning routine, we’d always celebrate events when they’re supposed to happen. Of course there is something very dramatic and fun in rushing around, thinking we’re under the gun only to find out the gun is a week away! Truth is, we SHEs are addicted to adrenalin, and an episode like this gives us our fix!

 I think JoAnne and her daughter are onto something very big! We could decide to celebrate every event (except Christmas) one week early. We know we’ll be racing around to meet the hour deadline, but we’ll have bought a whole week of time and so what if we don’t quite meet the hour deadline!

Could there be other ways to get that fix?

Sometimes I feel like you're my baby ducklings and it's my duty to teach you the most valuable lessons in life.

Since I'm one of the original SHEs and have almost 40 years of SHEness under my belt, I know I can help many of you.

Today is the first of a two-part series to hopefully help you from making a huge mistake.

I always wanted my own garden. A couple years ago I called on a friend, Bob Youngs, who always has fabulous gardens for his expert advice.

Here's part one.

1. You are denying disorganization is affecting your life in a negative way.

2. You are comparing your organizational skills to reality show hoarders. 

3. You are blaming your family for the mess you’re in.

4. You are minimizing the problem and the gifts you possess to solve them.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it speaks of the four defenses an alcoholic uses while he/she continues to drink. In Get Your Act Together, I wrote how SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) use the same defenses to remain in a mess.

There is really no difference except for the outcome… drunk or disorderly.

Like an alcoholic, once a SHE stops using the four defenses, she is then able to change. Could one of these defenses be holding you back from the life you want to live?

Denial 

You probably don’t deny you’re in a mess, but I know when I was living in chaos, I acted like it didn’t bother me. Haven’t you heard the classic messy person’s excuse for a messy desk say, “I know where everything is on my desk!” Yeah right! Denial! 

I also remember a constant desire to get out of the house and go play. My three kids and I spent much of our time outside where I didn’t have to face the mess in the house. While at the park it was easy to deny I had a problem, but I always had to come home to the truth.

Rationalization

On September 29, 2015 we officially opened Club Organized.

Would you like to be in Club Organized and get organized just enough to please YOU?

Good, because I’ve started an exclusive club for you, and not just anyone can join. You'll have to pass an admissions exam. As long as you can answer yes to at least five of the scenarios in the exam below you can be in the club. No BOs (born organized) allowed.

Of course we won’t ever have meetings (we’re all too busy and we'd only forget when they were!) and there won’t be dues or uniforms or secret handshakes, but we’ll all know we belong.

And we just might start having an annual convention here in Woodland, Washington. We’ll be a sisterhood of SLOBS (remember SLOB stands for Spontaneous, Lighthearted, Optimistic and Beloved) and we’ll be bound together by our love for our families and our desire to have clean, cozy, peaceful homes.

Here’s the test I promised you. Don't forget, if you can honestly answer yes to five of these SHE scenarios, you’re in the club! If you can answer yes to 10 of them you're eligible for admission into the highly coveted DE status (Deficiency Expert) of the club and you’ll receive all the goodies that go along with it (as soon as I figure out what they’ll be).

CLUB ORGANIZED ADMISSIONS EXAM

Why is it when we collect clutter we don’t want to let go once something is ours, and even though the four reasons I came up with are positive, the results of holding on are always negative.

1 Creativity

Because of our creativity, we often get things we think we’ll use, but end up not wanting to follow through with our clever thoughts. Often, we’ll keep something, just in case we’ll need it or can think up another use for it. I noticed when I was getting my gardening tools ready for spring, that I still have all the stuff I bought to bonsai some trees. I got the soil, the cutting tools, and the precise kind of planters for my bonsai projects. I was also on a honeymoon with the idea of having bonsai plants in my yard and gardens.

Six years ago, I took one lesson at Tsugawa’s Nursery that has the most beautiful bonsai trees I’ve ever seen. They’re master bonsaiers! Their little Christmas Village trees are way out of my price range! Who can pay $679 for a teeny, weeny cedar tree, even it is 216 years old?

Since I have old growth cedar trees that throw their babies everywhere on our property and I’m always pulling them up like weeds, I decided I’d start bonsaiing them! I should have known, I was in over my bonsai head, because I knew the people at this nursery are steeped in bonsai tradition, and it sure didn’t come naturally to me like it does to the Tsugawa’s.

I killed every one of my cedar victims, but did I get rid of my stash of bonsai tools? No, because in the back of my mind, I figured I just might get a Tsugawan urge to try again!

You’ll be glad to know I’ve boxed up the stuff and it’s on its way to the Salvation Army where it will soon be in the hands of someone who has a knack for miniaturizing trees.

2 Optimism