Are there people in your life whom you have not forgiven? Do you think you’d be happier if you could forgive them?

Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Would you like to read about a simple approach to forgiveness that has worked for many, who tried it? To find real peace and joy in our lives, we need to forgive those who have hurt us. I shared this timeline in a blog many years ago and if you truly want the freedom that comes with forgiveness, this approach could help. 

February 17:

I got an email from a woman who said her teacher (spiritual) asked the students to bring a clear plastic sack of potatoes to class, with each potato representing someone they hadn’t forgiven in life. In class they were asked to write the name of each person they had not forgiven on each potato. Some of the bags were quite heavy. 

They were asked to carry their bag with them everywhere, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work until they could forgive the people the potatoes represented.
The woman wrote, “The hassle of lugging my bag of unforgiven people around, made it clear, what a weight I was carrying spiritually, and how I had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, leaving it in embarrassing places.” 

Is there anything yuckier than a rotten potato? You know that saying, “one rotten apple spoils the barrel”? Well give me a rotten apple any day! One rotten potato smells way worse than a garage of rotten apples. One potato would affect the whole bag, but that usually doesn’t happen because of the smell! I don’t think I could let a whole bag of potatoes rot, because the stench of one is enough of a call to action. 

We want a happy home.

We intuitively know there is peace when there is order. We want our homes to be peaceful, organized and a joy in which to live, love and play.

In a book called The Tipping Point, the author, Malcom Gladwell, really grabbed my attention when he wrote about the Broken Window Theory. It was the brainchild of criminologists James Wilson and George Kelling. Kelling wrote, “Crime is the inevitable result of disorder.” Getting organized reduces crime.

I’m not saying because your house is a mess you’ll inevitably rob a bank or shoot your husband, but it’s a fair guess you’ve been late for church because you couldn’t find your car keys and broke the speed limit to get there on time, or you’ve been pulled over for driving under the influence when really you were just trying to put a little lipstick on while getting to your meeting.

Wilson and Kelling claim, “If a window is broken and left unrepaired, people walking by will conclude that no one cares and no one is in charge.” They tell about the horrible crime in the New York Subways in the 90s and that by cleaning up the graffiti on the outside and inside of the cars, crime plummeted! A cluttered room, among other things is like graffiti. It’s symbolic of the collapse of a system. It sends a message that no one’s in charge and no one cares.

Here are 6 simple household tasks that convey the same message as the graffiti-free subways did.  

Is there a broken window in each room?

Let’s use the metaphor of the broken window in each room of our homes and make “repairs” that will take you less than five minutes each. That means that in about 20 minutes you can fix five windows and you’ll show yourself and your family that you are back in charge and that you care.

Family members don't pick up after themselves? This FREE game will stop that!

Have you heard about the SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) 3x5 get organized system for your home and life?

It certainly has had resurgence in popularity in the last few months! It’s an amazing 3x5 cardfile system and millions have successfully set it up including Flylady.  

If you set up the SHE system and it worked for you and your family, but then you quit using it, YOU’RE NORMAL! Nobody sticks to anything forever; it’s just not possible unless you’re a librarian.Things happen. Life happens. And by your very nature, you get sidetracked by those “happenings,” and life presses you on and pulls you in many directions.

Here’s a video clip of Flylady telling about how successful she was with the SHE get organized system when her child was young and then what happened.

Many people have a hard time decluttering, even when their stuff doesn’t bring them joy.

Have you been holding onto stuff that you really don't care about, and it's cluttering up your life?

Would you love to have a turn-around about how you feel concerning your stash of stuff? Did you know it's easier to get organized when you don't have a lot of stuff?

Read what Emily York did that soothed her fear of letting go and gave her the courage to be free of it. All she did was change her mind and she saw her stuff with a new perspective.

Dear Pam,

As I was watching the S.H.E. De-Junking DVD and I heard you or Peggy say that people tell you all the time they are afraid to let go of their stuff because as soon as they do, they will need it. At that point I said to the television screen, "Amen sisters!" Because that is exactly how I felt. THEN one of you said, "You can let go of your stuff and never have to worry again, because it is at the Goodwill and you can go there and buy it back or just visit it!!"

      I realized I'd been running my own personal

                      version of a Goodwill Store!

If you really want more happiness, start by stopping your complaining. 

Most people don’t realize how often they complain because it has become a habit and, like all habits, it tends to be so familiar that it becomes invisible (like that box of stuff in the entryway to take to the donation center).

Studies show that complaining can be brutally harmful to your health, efficiency and life in general. That’s because complaining is negative and it takes a toll on your energy and your happiness. People who are always complaining tend to have poor health, are disorganized in their jobs and at home, and have relationships that are not good and don’t last very long. And they aren’t that much fun to be around!
 

This is a photo Terry took in Cancun when we were there on vacation. As you can guess, everyone left the beach because of the on-coming storm. Grumbling about inclement weather is probably one of the most common complaints and maybe it's because we can't do anything about it. Here in the state of Washington it rains a lot, and most Washintonians do not own an umbrella or rain boots, we just know how to dash and we're Olympic at finding shelter.

Why is it when we collect clutter we don’t want to let go once something is ours, and even though the four reasons I came up with are positive, the results of holding on are always negative.

1 Creativity

Because of our creativity, we often get things we think we’ll use, but end up not wanting to follow through with our clever thoughts. Often, we’ll keep something, just in case we’ll need it or can think up another use for it. I noticed when I was getting my gardening tools ready for spring, that I still have all the stuff I bought to bonsai some trees. I got the soil, the cutting tools, and the precise kind of planters for my bonsai projects. I was also on a honeymoon with the idea of having bonsai plants in my yard and gardens.

Six years ago, I took one lesson at Tsugawa’s Nursery that has the most beautiful bonsai trees I’ve ever seen. They’re master bonsaiers! Their little Christmas Village trees are way out of my price range! Who can pay $679 for a teeny, weeny cedar tree, even it is 216 years old?

Since I have old growth cedar trees that throw their babies everywhere on our property and I’m always pulling them up like weeds, I decided I’d start bonsaiing them! I should have known, I was in over my bonsai head, because I knew the people at this nursery are steeped in bonsai tradition, and it sure didn’t come naturally to me like it does to the Tsugawa’s.

I killed every one of my cedar victims, but did I get rid of my stash of bonsai tools? No, because in the back of my mind, I figured I just might get a Tsugawan urge to try again!

You’ll be glad to know I’ve boxed up the stuff and it’s on its way to the Salvation Army where it will soon be in the hands of someone who has a knack for miniaturizing trees.

2 Optimism

Just Another Day in a Basic Week Plan

                but a Very Valuable One...Planning Day

Do you have a certain day each week that you take care of items on this list?

pay bills

answer mail

write thank you notes

make appointments

organize your office (filing paperwork etc.)

do bookwork

plan fun outings

How would you feel, if all those important elements of your life were organized on a weekly basis?

When you are organized, you are on top of everything from the boring stuff you tend to put off to the fun of not missing out on events that are on certain dates. How many times have you missed out, because you didn’t plan it?

On my Planning Day, my husband and I coordinate calendars so we know about each other’s commitments, if they affect us. I spend from two to five hours on that list above. My Planning Day has developed into a very contemplative day.

For instance, when I pay my bills, I focus on how grateful I am to have the services and objects in my life that make it such a wonderful life. When I write my weeks’ worth of thank you notes, I think about each person I’m thanking and I visualize each one being happy and content. When I file paperwork, I am grateful for the organizing tools at our disposal that make it so easy to be organized. Being organized doesn’t cramp your spontaneity; it sets the stage for you to be even more creative.

When you claim a specific day of the week to plan, and then you stick to that regularly, you’ll begin to see that you can actually set aside tasks that fit into your weekly work schedule. In other words, you can have a pile of papers to file once a week if you’ll do it. You can add to a list of people to thank, if you’ll really do it once a week. It’s only when you don’t do what you’ve piled up for the week, that’ll you get into trouble.

21 Days to establish a habit

Key # 3 Plan of Action

Now that you’ve got the first two keys to being organized (if you didn't get a chance to read them just click on them here  Part ONE,  Part TWO ),  making a decision to do it and becoming committed to that decision for the right reason(s), the third key is a plan of action. 

The simple plan is in 3-Ds:

Declutter, Delegate and Do it!

Declutter

Just like Flylady says, “You can’t organize clutter,” the sooner you get everything out of your house that doesn’t make you feel good, the better. On the subject of what makes you happy, here’s a good exercise to try.

Pick a room, any room and focus on one part of that room like a shelf or table; something that’s holding stuff. Pretend the room is on fire and in your mind, make a note of what you’d take with you (pretend you only have about 10 seconds because the flames are leaping at you and threatening to swallow you up).

As I wrote this I looked at a shelf in my office and discovered about five things on it that would   not   be worth saving. I'll get rid of them.

Putting your stuff through the fire test will help you sweep your home clean of the stuff that doesn’t make you happy. 

 Delegate