In his breath-taking book Many Lives, Many Masters, Dr. Brian Weiss M.D. (a renowned and highly reputable psychiatrist) said, "The steady day-in and day-out pounding of undermining influences such as a parent’s scathing criticisms, could cause even more psychological trauma than a single traumatic event. These damaging influences, because they blend into the everyday background of our lives, are even more difficult to  remember and exorcise.

A constantly criticized child can lose as much confidence and self-esteem as one who remembers being humiliated on one particular, horrifying day. A child whose family is impoverished and has very little food available on a day-to-day basis might eventually suffer from the same psychological problems as a child who experienced one major episode of accidental near-starvation. Those day-in and day-out poundings of negative forces have to be recognized and resolved with as much attention as that paid to the single overwhelmingly traumatic event."

I loved what Dr. Weiss said and I’ve realized, because of my daily attention to Nelly my inner child, I've been able to neutralize the day-in and day-out poundings of the past by becoming aware of her against the background of my daily life that’s going on now. When we shine our attention daily on the inner child, and confront negative feelings in the moment, 

using love, understanding and compassion, we can almost be like our own psychologist helping ourselves to remember and exorcise the source of negative experiences from the past.

Loving yourself is NOT a selfish notion!

Whether you use a griddle or a pan, cook your eggs slowly so they don’t brown and crisp up. I cooked these eggs on the same griddle I fried the bacon on and used the fat from the bacon to cook the eggs in. I added a little salt and pepper to taste. Cook until the whites are white before turning. Some prefer eggs over easy, some over medium and some over hard and that has to do with the yolks being runny or not.

The big secret to wonderfully tasty eggs is buying them from a local farmer where you’ll get fresh eggs with yolks that are bright yellow and so yummy. Eggs in stores can be easily several weeks old. You'll pay a little more for local eggs but they’re worth it.

Do you like to be on the receiving end of a surprise?

A “little” surprise is like being outside on a chilly, spring morning without a coat when the sun pops out from behind a big cloud and warms your back. Like Mother Nature executing one of her random acts of kindness. Here's a trio of daffodils getting their little backs warmed. Just getting this photo from my photographer husband was a little surprise that made me smile!

Most people don't like those big deal birthday bombshells where you walk into your house and the whole neighborhood yells “surprise,” or those horrid surprises on your credit card statement, right after Christmas. 

This blog is about the times when your husband comes home from work with a single rose for you or your child surprises you by doing a chore you didn’t ask him or her to do.

If you thought to yourself, ‘Ha, Carl’d never come home with a single rose for me,’ or Jenny wouldn’t lift a finger if I didn’t ask her to, maybe you need to ask yourself when was the last time you surprised Carl or helped Jenny with a chore?

1. You are denying disorganization is affecting your life in a negative way.

2. You are comparing your organizational skills to reality show hoarders. 

3. You are blaming your family for the mess you’re in.

4. You are minimizing the problem and the gifts you possess to solve them.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) it speaks of the four defenses an alcoholic uses while he/she continues to drink. In Get Your Act Together, I wrote how SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) use the same defenses to remain in a mess.

There is really no difference except for the outcome… drunk or disorderly.

Like an alcoholic, once a SHE stops using the four defenses, she is then able to change. Could one of these defenses be holding you back from the life you want to live?

Denial 

You probably don’t deny you’re in a mess, but I know when I was living in chaos, I acted like it didn’t bother me. Haven’t you heard the classic messy person’s excuse for a messy desk say, “I know where everything is on my desk!” Yeah right! Denial! 

I also remember a constant desire to get out of the house and go play. My three kids and I spent much of our time outside where I didn’t have to face the mess in the house. While at the park it was easy to deny I had a problem, but I always had to come home to the truth.

Rationalization

What better way to start your day than with a bacon and egg breakfast.

In this video I show you how to fry bacon and I give my delicious concoction to take the place of hash browns because they’re so high in carbohydrates.

Once you’ve tasted my onion hash browns, you really won’t want to have hash browns made from potatoes. Especially because potatoes are LOADED with carbs. If  you did nothing more than cut out ALL potatoes you would start losing weight.

On September 29, 2015 we officially opened Club Organized.

Would you like to be in Club Organized and get organized just enough to please YOU?

Good, because I’ve started an exclusive club for you, and not just anyone can join. You'll have to pass an admissions exam. As long as you can answer yes to at least five of the scenarios in the exam below you can be in the club. No BOs (born organized) allowed.

Of course we won’t ever have meetings (we’re all too busy and we'd only forget when they were!) and there won’t be dues or uniforms or secret handshakes, but we’ll all know we belong.

And we just might start having an annual convention here in Woodland, Washington. We’ll be a sisterhood of SLOBS (remember SLOB stands for Spontaneous, Lighthearted, Optimistic and Beloved) and we’ll be bound together by our love for our families and our desire to have clean, cozy, peaceful homes.

Here’s the test I promised you. Don't forget, if you can honestly answer yes to five of these SHE scenarios, you’re in the club! If you can answer yes to 10 of them you're eligible for admission into the highly coveted DE status (Deficiency Expert) of the club and you’ll receive all the goodies that go along with it (as soon as I figure out what they’ll be).

CLUB ORGANIZED ADMISSIONS EXAM

Okay, this ratio is not scientific, but in the 40 years I’ve been helping disorganized women, I’m pretty sure it’s very close – maybe 11 to one.

I believe for every BO (Born Organized) there are at least ten SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) and I know the reason why God did this. If it weren’t for us SHEs, the BOs of the world wouldn’t have much to do and they’d get depressed and start re-washing stuff.

 I’m smack in the middle of starting an exclusive, new club for the disorganized (no BOs allowed) and I’m calling it CLUB ORGANIZED. (Well, actually, I’m just changing the name of my website from www.makeitfunanditwillgetdone.com to www.cluborganized.com but in the excitement of being able to get this perfect name for my website, I started thinking about having a real club for us!)

CLUB ORGANIZED

Because you subscribe to my blog, you can be one of my charter members! Of course we won’t have meetings (we’re all too busy) and there won’t be dues or uniforms or secret handshakes, but we’ll all know we belong.

We’ll be a sisterhood of SLOBS (remember SLOB stands for Spontaneous, Lighthearted, Optimistic and Beloved so don’t go getting a kink in your hanky because I called you a SLOB).

Oh and I just might start planning for an annual retreat and you can join me in Woodland, Washington!

Why is it when we collect clutter we don’t want to let go once something is ours, and even though the four reasons I came up with are positive, the results of holding on are always negative.

1 Creativity

Because of our creativity, we often get things we think we’ll use, but end up not wanting to follow through with our clever thoughts. Often, we’ll keep something, just in case we’ll need it or can think up another use for it. I noticed when I was getting my gardening tools ready for spring, that I still have all the stuff I bought to bonsai some trees. I got the soil, the cutting tools, and the precise kind of planters for my bonsai projects. I was also on a honeymoon with the idea of having bonsai plants in my yard and gardens.

Six years ago, I took one lesson at Tsugawa’s Nursery that has the most beautiful bonsai trees I’ve ever seen. They’re master bonsaiers! Their little Christmas Village trees are way out of my price range! Who can pay $679 for a teeny, weeny cedar tree, even it is 216 years old?

Since I have old growth cedar trees that throw their babies everywhere on our property and I’m always pulling them up like weeds, I decided I’d start bonsaiing them! I should have known, I was in over my bonsai head, because I knew the people at this nursery are steeped in bonsai tradition, and it sure didn’t come naturally to me like it does to the Tsugawa’s.

I killed every one of my cedar victims, but did I get rid of my stash of bonsai tools? No, because in the back of my mind, I figured I just might get a Tsugawan urge to try again!

You’ll be glad to know I’ve boxed up the stuff and it’s on its way to the Salvation Army where it will soon be in the hands of someone who has a knack for miniaturizing trees.

2 Optimism

It's hard to be happy if you don't feel good.

 

When exercise is part of your daily routine, you are healthier and happier than living a sedentary life. But it has to be programmed into your routine or, you know, you won’t do it. Recently Terry and I were surrounded by more than five hundred happy, healthy people who came together for fun and exercise. You can see the health in many who participated and you know they have exercise as part of their daily routines.

On Saturday morning, the day before Easter, we took part in Woodland, Washington’s annual Tulip Trot. We walked 1,968,505 inches from the Holland America Bulb Farm on a loop that took us along the dike that keeps the Lewis River and the Columbia River from turning the tulips into tulip soup.

If you wonder why I used inches to tell you how far we walked, it’s because I wanted it to sound impressive. I don’t think it’s any different than converting miles into kilometers. Runners love to brag about running 5Ks and 10Ks (not because they use the metric system, but because it just sounds like more). A 5K run is only 3.10 miles and it’s just not as impressive as saying 5Ks. You never hear a marathoner say she ran 42 Ks because 26.2 miles is impressive enough and besides, we all know that a marathon is 26.2 miles so she doesn’t have to say anything except the word, MARATHON. And, us non-runners’ brains can’t conceive of running 6.2 miles let alone 20 more after that, so all we really need to hear to be impressed is just the word.

Terry was the self-proclaimed official photographer of this year’s Tulip Trot and the weather was a photographer’s dream, as you’ll see in the photo’s he took. There were some angry clouds threatening to dampen the trot, yet it never happened, and the black and gray clouds against the brilliant tulips were stunning.