I was doing some holiday shopping at Michael’s (the craft store) in the late afternoon when I heard a conversation in the next aisle between a mother and her six-year-old child.

“Oh, Mama, look at this!”

“Uh huh.”

“I love this!!”

“Uh huh.”

“I have one don’t I!!!”

“Uh huh.”

“You made it for me didn’t you Mama!!!!”

“Uh huh.”

“Can you make one for Sissy?”

“Uh huh.”

As I listened to the excitement and love for her mother in the child’s voice and the drone of her mother’s responses, tears welled up in my eyes. I thought about how many times I’d done the same thing with my children when they were young. After all, the holiday season meant I had a centerpiece to make, a decoration for the coffee table to think about, colors to consider, people to impress and not enough time! 

The Cheddar Family is the mouse family that lives in our home. 

Merry Christmas from the Cheddar family! We hope your year has been blessed with good times, good food, great friends and lots of love and fun.

Our family has grown and it’s always such a blessing to celebrate new life, (way too much life to write about in our Christmas letter).

I gave my husband Colby a cellphone for his birthday in April and he loves the video camera that’s on it! He’s really gotten good at videotaping Terry and Pam, the humans we share our home with. These two are crazy and now we have tangible proof because of the camera!

Before I share the highlight of our year, I want you to know, no one was injured.  When I tell you what they did you could be shaking your head and stressing over what happened. Anyway Colby has a video for you, so I'll let it show you what happened!

Merry Christmas to you all. I feel so honored to have you in my life, even though I haven’t met most of you in person. I write for you from my heart and I’m honored when you send such loving comments reflecting your love back to me. I know how busy you all are, yet throughout the year many of you have taken time to share your love with me. And to those of you who haven’t written to me, I know in my heart you are a SHE just like me and I love you.

Lately I’ve been practicing being satisfied in every moment I can. Because I’m an optimist, I expect everything to work out and when I bump into problems, they’ll often throw me…for a while, until I can get back to practicing being happy moment-by-moment (or as many moments as I can consciously collect in my waking hours each day).

I meditate every day and have since I was 30. It’s such a personal aspect of my life I rarely share it because to write about it is akin to telling you how often I have sex. Ahemm, with that said, I’ll tactfully move on to why I'm sharing my spiritual practice with you today.

Here are some ideas to create Christmas traditions that'll turn into family memories you'll cherish for the rest of your lives. But before we get into them  watch this video we produced last week and you'll see a great example of families creating a Christmas memory.

It's been years since Terry and I decided to drastically reduce carbohydrates from our life. It was so FUN (even though I thought it'd be hard!) that I just had to write a book about what happened to us as we totally changed the way we eat and have never gone back to counting calories. In this video I'm reading an excerpt from "The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here!"

I hope what I discovered resonates with you. We live in such miraculous bodies and they go all out to move us around our world whether we weigh what we weighed in high school or what we've collected over the years. This chapter deals with the realization of how heavy just five pounds is.

When you order "The Mouth Trap:the butt stops here!" audio CD set, I'll give you the printed book too as my gift. (You won't see those words when you go to order, but I'll be watching as orders come in and I'll make sure you get the printed book with the Audio CD set.

A Thanksgiving to Remember by Pam Young

My mom always fixed the Thanksgiving feast
The meal? A traditional winner
I know she rose before the sun
‘cause she told us all through dinner

As a young mother I decided one year
That I should take over the job
Mom was very impressed that I
Would volunteer to host the mob

For our family had grown to sixteen
With cousins and uncles and aunts
The meal involved some traditions
A recipe that came in the pants

A Thanksgiving to Remember by Pam Young

My mom always fixed the Thanksgiving feast
The meal? A traditional winner
I know she rose before the sun
‘cause she told us all through dinner

As a young mother I decided one year
That I should take over the job
Mom was very impressed that I
Would volunteer to host the mob

For our family had grown to sixteen
With cousins and uncles and aunts
The meal involved some traditions
A recipe that came in the pants

Of an ancestor who crossed over
On the Mayflower moons before
The Young family sausage stuffing
With ingredients more than four

Blessings to you and your family from my house to yours.

As you come into this holiday season, let the spirit of the season bite you right where it’ll get your attention…your heart. Right now, instead of fussing about all the stuff you have to do, focus on what makes you want to fuss with the stuff in the first place. It’s love. Love of your family and friends, love of the traditions you have that have survived every year of your life. God knows what you love and just as you delight in a desire to give to your children to delight them, God loves to give to us to delight us. The ironic thing about that is, what we really want is to feel good and that choice is being offered to us every second.

I was at The Dollar Tree yesterday and I ran into a mom with an infant in a stroller being guarded by her four-year-old. We got to talking and I said, “Do you love this time of year, being able to know what your kids love and want for Christmas and then being able to be the one who can see those wishes come true?” She literally lit up with the question and her answer shot goose bumps all over me. It was like we were in this beautiful zone of positive energy.

SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) have to be very cautious when any big holiday comes around and Thanksgiving is no exception. The excitement accompanied by our amazing creative abilities can send us to places that make great material for sitcoms. If you don’t want to slip over the holiday edge this year, the following DON’Ts will help you think twice before you make any festive moves.

Reducing your intake of carbohydrates can sound a little sad. Afterall we love "the white stuff." You know, potatoes, rice, pasta and bread, our blessed "comfort" foods. But since Terry and I have been living a low-carb lifestyle for the last eight years, I've figured out how to cook many delicious meals without the carbs. This is a delicious, company breakfast dish you can make the night before so you won't have to get up extra early in the morning to fix a meal for your overnight guests. So please enjoy this short cooking video. 

If you've been thinking about losing weight by reducing your carbohydrates, I hope you'll read my book "The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here!" I share how Terry and I slashed our carbohydrates eight years ago and are still enjoying the healthy results. We'll never go back!

Here's the recipe and video for the low-carb breakfast casserole.

If you’re a cozy person, you probably have a cozy home.

Now that winter will be coming soon, do you get the urge to cozy up the place? Webster defines cozy as: enjoying warmth and ease, marked by the intimacy of family or a close group. It takes a cozy person to make a cozy home. For every cozy home, you'll find a happy family.

When I was growing up, our house was always cozy, but as the holidays came closer, the coziness factor seemed to rise. Do you think it could be genetic? If it is I got my cozy gene from Mom who got hers from Granny.

If you’re a cozy person, it probably is.

Now that winter will be coming soon, do you get the urge to cozy up the place? Webster defines cozy as: enjoying warmth and ease, marked by the intimacy of family or a close group. It takes a cozy person to make a cozy home. For every cozy home, you'll find a happy family.

When I was growing up, our house was always cozy, but as the holidays came closer, the coziness factor seemed to rise. Do you think it could be genetic? If it is I got my cozy gene from Mom who got hers from Granny.

Every home that Granny made was cozy.

Three of her homes that I can recall, were only two rooms; two cozy rooms. I remember one winter, Mom, Dad and my baby sister, Peggy, had to live with Granny for more than a week. The Northwest experienced what they call a Silver Thaw. I think I understand what happens when one hits. First of all, the air nearer to the ground is below freezing and the air a little higher up is above freezing. When the precipitation hits the freezing air, it turns to ice. The super fine ice collects on everything, turning the landscape into a sugary, slippery wonderland. 

Before the Silver Thaw, it had snowed about six inches. When the ice storm hit, it covered the snow with such a thick layer of ice that we could walk across the snow and not crunch through. The ice collected enough to pull huge trees over. Power lines were powerless to escape the accumulation of the frozen water and electricity was cut off for more than a  week. That’s why we went to Granny’s. Our home was all electric. Granny had a wood stove. 

Halloween is wearing a costume. Halloween is scary. But the biggest thing Halloween is, is Halloween CANDY!

You know your kids are going to bring home a pillowcase full of it and you know you'll have CANDY left-over after the last witch leaves your porch.

So the question is, What can you do with all that Halloween CANDY now?

In this video you'll get some great ideas for decorating with that left-over sugar.

9 SHE Don'ts for Halloween

SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) have to be  very cautious when any big holiday comes around and Halloween is no exception. The excitement, assisted by our amazing creative abilities, can send us over the holiday edge into over-doing. The following DON’Ts will help you think twice before you make any big Halloween moves. (This photo was taken in 2016. We were dressed as Trump and Hillary before the election.)

Now that I'm a great grandma, my creative right brain kicked in with a new idea for you if you know an infant you'd love to put in a costume for Halloween. Stop! Why not decorate the baby's carrier instead of the poor baby. They've gone through enough recently! So now I'm going to send you to watch a video of my latest appearance on the live television show I appear on regularly. 

Note: sometimes it can be slow to stream so be patient because it's worth the wait! Here's the link https://katu.com/afternoon-live/lifestyle-health/pams-halloween-ideas 

It’s no secret that countless families are deluged by household clutter.

Flylady says; “The most common clutter hot spots are children's bedrooms, home offices, attics, and garages.” What does it take to create a clutter-free space? Here are my 10 best home organization strategies straight from my book, The Joy of Being Disorganized.

1. Stop Homelessness

One of the main reasons stuff piles up on counters, dining tables, coffee tables and floors is that it’s homeless. When an item has no "home," it gets added to an IPOD
 (Important Pile Of Decisions). The free chapter I'm giving you has great information about the IPODs in your home and how to eliminate them. That’s why it’s important to make sure everything in your home lives somewhere. “Homing” items in the room where they're used, helps ensure that they get put away when you're finished. For example, I keep a sewing kit in a drawer of an end table in my living room, because I like to mend garments in that room and not in my sewing room in the basement.

2. Stop Clutter at the Cash Register

Use that, waiting-to-buy time when you’re standing in line at the cash register, to re-think what’s in your hands or cart. Imagine it as clutter. What you buy today can turn
into clutter tomorrow. The better you are about keeping things out of your home, the less likely you’ll be to create IPODs when you get home.

3. Baby Step your Way to Clutter-free

Start with the room that’s bothering you the most. (In my almost 40-year career helping moms get organized, the kitchen is the room most picked by baby-steppers.) Marla Cilley, the Flylady
says, “Start by shining your kitchen sink.” That’s so brilliant! In order to keep your sink shiny, you have to keep it empty. In order to keep it empty, you and your family have to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. In order to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, it has to be empty!

My husband, Terry and I took a road trip to the Oregon Coast for our anniversary a couple of years ago and while he was driving I suggested we play a gratitude game. 

“Is this gonna be some lady’s magazine deal?”  he asked with a sense of apprehension.

“No, I’ve been reading Deborah Norvel’s book on the power of being thankful.”

“So Deborah told you to do this?”

“Nope, I thought this game up all by myself. In fact it'd be a great family game.”

“Okay, what do I do?” 

“So, I’ll tell you something I’m grateful for about you and then it’ll be your turn and you have to tell me something you’re grateful for about me and the guy who can’t think of something loses and the other guy wins.”

“What’ll he win?”

“He’ll get taken out to dinner when we get to the beach.”

We probably traded 15 thankful comments with each other and what was very interesting to me was how much I loved hearing his comments for me and I couldn’t wait for the next one. 

I was telling Marla, the Flylady, about the game and she suggested we play it with our inner child. So I had a session with Nelly (she’s my inner child, in case you don’t know). Here’s what happened.

Enlightened Selfishness Means Taking Time for You

For starters, take time to read this blog, unless your house is on fire or your dog has a death grip on one of your children.

Most women are notorious for neglecting themselves in lieu of caring for others and you’re probably one of them. If you’re not, CONGRATULATIONS! When asked, “Are you selfish about taking care of yourself, most women cringe and say, “no.” The cringe comes from guilt knowing they should have free time for themselves but don't. There are two parts to this “enlightened selfishness: first you need to know what you’re going to do when you take time out and second, you need to make time for the time outs and get them to become a habit. There are two ways to do that. One is to cut corners wherever you can, and two is to delegate some of your work to the members of your family so you can take time for you. I'll give you some tips on delegating, but first here's a video that demonstrates how to drastically save time folding sheets.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I had one of those days today.”? I call “one of those days” a shell-stickin’ day. You know how some hard boiled eggs refuse to let go of the egg white? If you’re making deviled eggs and you need the white part to be intact as a nest for the egg yolk mixture, you know how aggravating one of those shell-stickin’ eggs can be. I’m sure you’ve had to give up on some eggs in the process, because invariably chunks of the egg white tear off and leave half nests that just won’t work.

I’m the stubborn sort and I’ll go to great lengths to fight a shell-sticker, searching for that crucial place where the thin membrane is holding onto its beloved egg white. In 50% of the cases the egg wins and I either eat the mutilated egg white and throw the yoke in with the batch of other yokes or, depending on how many shell-stickers in the batch, decide to make egg salad instead of deviled eggs. It’s sort of the egg version of when you have a lemon make lemonade. But what can you do when you have one of those shell-stickin' days?

If you gain weight easily, it most likely means you like sweets and all the white stuff; rice, pasta, bread and potatoes. It really is okay to have those foods once-in-awhile, but if you’re too liberal with that notion you’re in for weight gain. In the course of three months you can easily put on 15 pounds and here are the three main reasons why. 

My sister and I almost had our own television cooking show, but we would've had to be in LA four months out of the year and our six kids were young.

In cleaning out our warehouse I found the master tape of the opening for the show and thought you'd enjoy watching it. The show was going to be called, The Phony Gourmet and we would have share all our short-cut cooking recipes and ideas in the book of the same title. 

Start with a clean slate!

A garage sale sign read: Kid's Garage Sale. We couldn't resist. Each sign (obviously made by children) had a red balloon attached and upon arriving at the home, the children (a boy about 11 and a girl about 8) were sitting at a table with lemonade they'd made. Several adults with children were shopping and the mother of the garage salers was sitting on a lawn chair under a big maple tree. 

If you’re disorganized, here's the most important sentence to complete.

Ahh, the lazy days of summer are upon us. Summer breezes calm us, the lake beckons us to lap in its luxurious warm water, the aroma of barbeque teases our noses and makes our mouths water. No cares, just relaxation.

How in the world can we think about Christmas now? And why would we want to? Well, Leroy Anderson wrote “Sleigh Ride” in July, 1946 in the middle of a heat wave in New England, so if you had a good enough reason to think about Christmas now, you could put your mind to it. We all know that the holidays require extra time, energy and money, so why not take advantage of summer leisure and get a jump on the holidays?

Here are my six best ideas to save you time, money and energy during the holiday season.

1. Stocking Stuffers 

Stuff as you go. Hide a small container, like a shoe box or Zip Lock Gallon bag, for each child. When
you’re out and about and find items that would be good for stocking stuffers, like movie tickets, gift cards, little toys and books, purchase and put in the hidden containers.

Come midnight on Christmas Eve, you’ll thank yourself when you think, ‘EEgad, we gotta do stockings,’ and you’ll have most of the contents ready to stuff.

2. Re-Gift

Have you ever noticed how excited your children are when they find toys they haven’t seen in several months? That usually happens when you start cleaning out their closets.

When my kids were little, I'd box up some of their toys, books and games when they weren’t around. and put them up to the attic. When I’d get one of those stored boxes out, no matter what time of year it was, it felt just like Christmas. That's when I got the idea to wrap them in Christmas wrap and store them away until Christmas morning.

Kids love lots of presents under the tree and they'll love to unwrap stuff you've let hide for a few months of rest. (When items first go missing, they’ll wonder where they went for a little while, but they probably spend a lot of time looking for stuff anyway, if your family tends to be disorganized and eventually they'll get distracted and forget.) 

3. “Do” your Christmas cards in July 

Why not take care of Christmas cards this summer? If you’re like me, you’ve probably got a stash of Christmas cards plugging up one of your drawers. Get them out, pretend it’s Christmas, write a tender note, address, seal, stamp and hold until December 1. Think how easy it’ll be plopping them into the mail that early!

Remember Christmas is about love, joy and goodwill. Make your note to each person about them, not about you. Thank them for being in your life. Comment on how much you love them, how much they make your life better. Wish them goodness in all their days.

Note: I’ve always said, “Unless a person is a really good writer, he or she shouldn’t write a Christmas letter which usually ends up being all about the person writing it.” That's not what Christmas is all about.

If you’re a person who has a history of disorganization, you’ve probably had your share of putting yourself down for it.

When you’re late (that's just a habit), you’re embarrassed and you set yourself up for dirty looks and eye rolls from those who’ve had to wait for you or maybe your lack of time awareness has caused you to miss the last flight out, or the buss to someplace you wanted to be. When you trip in the dark over stuff you left out in the light (that's just a habit), it can mean a trip to the ER and a self-condemning sermon all the way to the hospital. When you run out of gas (that's just a habit) and you’re late to work, you pour more gas on your talent for beating yourself up than you put in your car’s tank.

When you bump up against something caused by your disorganized habits, ask yourself what baby step you might take so this bump can get smaller and smaller and in time, disappear? Get yourself into the 21-Day Game. Pick one thing to do for 21 days remembering you’ve got all the time in the world to change anything you want to change. (The 21 days is just a segment of time in which a habit is established.) Don’t put pressure on yourself. This is just a game you're going to play. There’s no contest here. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. Your reason to change something is so that you'll feel good because of it.

Bury the Hatchet

When it comes to getting organized, the real starting place is to make amends with you. You have to bury the psychological hatchet you’ve been holding over you for all your past misdemeanors. Give yourself a break! You’re the only one who can do it, and all it takes is an apology. Tell yourself:

 I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you when things are disorganized. You are my best friend and I love you so much. I love how much I do in spite of being disorganized. Look how beautiful the yard is! I’m a great cook and I don’t waste food. I’m doing so much right and everything is fine. I want to be more organized and I’d like to start by going to bed every night for the next 21 days at 9:30 at the latest. That’s all. Just a plan that will give me more rest for 21 days.

Going to bed at a regular time may not be the activity you choose to do for the 21- Day Game (it’s a good one if you’re not getting your rest) instead, it may be to shine your sink, make your bed, floss, walk for 30 minutes, get dressed before breakfast instead of before lunch or dinner, meditate for 20 minutes—you pick what feels right and do it. But pick something now.

Making a change involves acquiring a new skill and that takes practice.

Practice makes perfect. Think about how you don't even have to think when you tie your shoes! But when you were learning that skill you had to use up a lot of your conscious mind to get the suckers tied.

Now, while you tie them, you can be thinking about whether or not you're going to ride the ferris wheel at the fair today or what you're going to order when you go out to breakfast this morning.

Everything that you've practice into a habit you now do unconsciously. So what are some of things you practice every day that have become habits? Do you pile papers to file later? Do you leave your cloth bags in the car when you grocery shop? Do you put your keys, purse, cell phone and glasses just anywhere? 

If you drive down any neighborhood street in America, no matter what the cost of the homes, you’ll find at least 50% of the drive-ways have a car parked in them. That doesn’t mean the people in the homes have company, it most likely means the garages are full of stuff and there’s no room for the cars.

I was recently on a television talk show in Portland, Oregon and I talked about how we Americans have too much stuff. The hostess of the show told me she’s embarrassed to pull out of her garage because it’s crammed full. I said, “Well at least you can get your car in the garage!” She said, “It barely fits and it's a three-car garage!”

Just Another Day in a Basic Week Plan

                but a Very Valuable One...Planning Day

Do you have a certain day each week that you take care of items on this list?

• pay bills
• answer mail
• write thank you notes
• make appointments
• organize your office (filing paperwork etc.)
• do bookwork
• plan fun outings

How would you feel, if all those important elements of your life were organized on a weekly basis?

When you buy a whole chicken and cut it up into parts, you end up with the chicken back, neck, rib cage and giblets. In a slow cooker, cook those remains in a quart of water for an hour, and remove to take all the meat off the bones. (It will yield about two cups of meat.) To make bone broth put the bones back in the broth that cooked for an hour and cook for up to 20 hours in a slow cooker.

That bone broth is filled with vitamins and minerals and  is great to have as a snack or used in soups and sauces calling for broth.

But you're here to watch my cooking video and get the Chicken Salad recipe so let's go! 

Young people don’t have bucket lists.There’s just too much they want to do to bother making a list. Besides, young people are too busy with NOW to think much about TOMORROWS. They’ll also discover as they age, they could never imagine some of the stuff they’ll do, without it ever appearing on a list. Like this duck who never dreamed he'd swim with the flamingos, ended up doing it without it being on his bucket list.

My bucket list is getting shorter (like that duck's legs), but it’s a good thing. I’m finding out, I cross off been-there-done-that stuff faster than I’m adding more to do.  

Then there are those desires that gradually fade in time. For example, I carried around a wish for fifty years that I’m “happily” crossing off my bucket list, not because I did it, but because now I don’t want to. With just a little thought I got to the bottom of why it’s been such a perennial desire. ADVERTISING!

A BO (Born Organized) could never do what's in this video. It would drive her crazy.

But we lucky SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) have no problem doing this.  

Women are notorious for neglecting self-care in lieu of caring for others and when asked if they are selfish about taking care of themselves, most cringe and say, “no.” The cringe comes from guilt knowing they should have free time for themselves. There are two parts to this: one is you need to know what you’re going to do when you take time out (I'll go into that another day) and two you need to make time for the time outs. Here's just one way to make time. Watch the video and then give it a try. It's actually fun!! And it'll save time you could use to play.

Have you caught yourself saying, "Duh, that was dumb to do."? 

When we do something without thinking, we usually judge it to be dumb. Some of the dumbest stuff I do is when I'm looking for something. I'll catch myself looking in the same place. DUMB. Or I'll look in some stupid place like the refrigerator when I'm looking for my phone. DUMB.

You'll be shocked at how getting organized just a little will add great joy to you and your family because:

On June 16, I celebrated 41 years being organized. When my sister and I made the decision to go from pigpens to paradise, we were filled with a knowing that we’d succeed. It wasn’t that it was our first attempt. Every New Year’s Resolution had “get organized” on the top of the list. The difference this time was we had a partner and we had good reasons. I had made up my mind to get organized to have more free time to play. Peggy wanted revenge. She wanted her mother-in-law and sister-in-law to come to her home unexpectedly as they often had, only when she got organized they’d be blown away by her immaculate and orderly home.

When it comes to finances, we don't always create happy consequences.

Have you made choices in your lifetime that caused not so happy consequences? We all have and that’s how we learn to be more careful as we grow up. (Second marriages, for example, are almost always better than the first ones, if we made a lousy choice the first time).

I recently took a much needed three-day vacation away from home with two girlfriends who are incredibly wise women. Both women are extremely private people. They both gave me license to quote them, but with no names so I don’t get to give them credit for some of their wisdom.

We were having lunch in a beautiful restaurant in Astoria, Oregon when the subject of self-improvement came up. I explained my theory of having fun with my inner child and they both loved the concept. I told about how far in debt I was after my sister retired and left me with a huge company debt. It was a little embarrassing to admit, because both these women are very wealthy and they were shocked at how immature my sister and I had been with our money.

Here in the pacific northwest we have a chain of stores called Fred Meyer. (We call it Freddies around this leg of the forest.) Freddie's advertising slogan is: What's on your list today?

Northwesterners catch the phrase every time they see a huge Freddie's truck on the freeway. With most people it probably causes a thought of 'what do I need at the store today.' However for me, it serves as a wake-up call to ask me what "list" of thoughts am I focusing on right now. 

In other words it wakes me up to become consciously aware of the quality of my thought at that moment. If you think about it, you can ascribe a value to a list of thoughts running in your mind at any given moment. So imagine you and a co-worker you carpool with are in traffic on your way home from work and you're driving in the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane when a guy driving alone slips in front of you, illegally enjoying a faster ride home, and you start a list of thoughts that goes something like this:

We are so fortunate to be able to eat when we get hungry here in America. Have you noticed that you enjoy being hungry partly because you know there is always food and food tastes better when you're hungry? Because we are fortunate to have an abundance of food, we're able to play with the condition of hunger to our benefit.

I've been fasting every day for 16 hours by having my last meal by 2:00 pm. The hunger usually strikes around 7:00 pm, but my bedtime is 9:00 and as long as I keep my mind occupied with a good book, movie or favorite series on Amazon (like "The Big Bang Theory") those two hours pass quickly. Since I fall asleep fast I don't lie in bed and think about my favorite food and so far I haven't had any buffet dreams brought on by no food after 2:00.

One big lesson I've learned is by not eating after 2:00 my sleep is fabulous. I've had more flying dreams and lots of color in them. When I wake up in the morning I feel so rested! And I haven't needed my usual nap. I've read quite a bit about the benefits of giving our digestive track a rest and because I've had more energy since this fasting began, it's telling me digesting a meal takes quite a lot of energy.

With the title of my blog being "Hunger is the Best Sauce," I wanted to share with you something I wrote several years ago on the subject. 

As a parent, one thing I always tried to do when my kids were young was to create a sense of wonder and magic in their lives. I rarely heard them say, “I’m bored!”

Summer is the perfect season to make fun childhood memories. My mom was a master at creating memories for my sister and me. Thinking about why my summers as a kid were so special, I have renewed admiration for what my mother put into planning our summers.

She was a BOP (Born Organized Person). She always had a daily agenda for the summer months and it included household chores first and then fun. Attention moms, use fun activities you plan as a reward for getting the mundane household responsibilities accomplished every day.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. You don't have to traipse all the way to Scarborough Fair with 

Simon and Garfunkel to get your own fresh herbs. They're super easy to grow yourself! In this video I show you how my purple cabbage leaves are true overachievers and my basil is quite melodramatic.Herbs are like weeds!

I was lucky enough to visit Italy for a week. One thing I noticed was every little restaurant had an herb garden right outside. We stayed at a bed and breakfast. They  had a huge garden and when they needed something they just stepped outside and picked it. Oh, my goodness. "Magnifico" flavors just burst out. Take 25 seconds to watch this video my husband shot.

Now if they do that, why don't we? Let me show you how easy it is to grow your own herbs.

My mouth gets me into more trouble than any other hole in my body. Sometimes it’s because of what comes out of it, but mostly it’s been because of what goes in. That’s why the title to one of my books is “The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here!”

"Unless you’re hooked up to an intravenous feeding contraption that continues to pump too much food into your system, the size of your body is entirely due to your mouth’s ability to open and let the food that has made you weigh more than you like, to come in and “accumulate.”  (Except from The Mouth Trap.)

What Day is it Anyway?

I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but last week, when I woke up on Tuesday I thought it was Wednesday. Since it was Wednesday (in my mind) I thought I had an appointment to have my hair cut. In case you don’t know this, I get my farm, fresh eggs at “My Shop” (the place I get my hair cut) and when I walked in, Billy Jo who cuts my hair said, “Are you here to get eggs?”

“No, I’m getting my hair cut,” I replied.

“Oh, okay,” she said.

So I sat in the chair, told her I’d already washed my hair, and she proceeded to spray water on my head so she could cut my hair wet. We chatted and talked about a woman who was supposed to come in before my appointment and hadn’t shown up. While we were chatting and cutting another stylist came up to us and said to Billy Jo, “Evelyn’s granddaughter just called and said her grandma was in Hospice care and they were sorry she’d missed her appointment today.”

This is a sweet and inspiring letter from a successful, longtime SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive). It’s so well written, it deserves to be shared (with her permission). Enjoy her humor and SHEness.

Dearest Pam,

Have you heard about the SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) 3x5 get organized system for your home and life?

For some reason, there has been a wonderful surge of SHEs coming back to using 3x5 cards, and most are Flybabies. One of the reasons is they know (because they tell us) that 3x5 cards are the best tangible way to give you direction, which is the only thing you lack. They also are an excellent tool for delegating.

This from a senior SHE who has come back to the cards:

We talk to ourselves every day, but most of those conversations are in thought form so they often go unnoticed, sort of under-the-radar of our conscious mind because we’re focused more on what we're doing like your driving, cooking, gardening and such . When you finish reading this blog, you’ll understand how easy it is to sabotage your good intentions, by not awakening when some of these conversations take place.

Here’s an example:

We’re always trying to save time and energy, but for what?

We probably all have different reasons, but the main one is to save time and energy in order to have more free time and energy to do what we love. Killing two birds with one stone is like building up a time and energy bank account that we can use for play time.

Find out what my ten top ideas are.

First I thought it was clever, but it sure was NOT! I am sorry that I made you think I was quitting because of my subject line in my last blog.

 Second, I minded the “experts” who said, “Have a catchy subject line to get your readers to open your blog.” Well indeed that worked, because the number of you that opened that last blog “The End of Sidetracked Home Executives” went through the roof. Unfortunately most of you only read the first paragraph that talked about how grateful I am for each of you and how grateful I am to be 75 (my birthday was May 8). Well I’m not quitting!

"Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise" was written 40 years ago and on May 8, I will enjoy my 75th birthday! As the co-author of that book, my life has been so blessed and in the spirit of appreciation, looking back over it, I have something to report; we were all born to enjoy life and SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executives) have a corner on enjoying life even though that corner can be quite messy sometimes.

As I looked back, I got the urge to read the last paragraph in "Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise" because I remember how poignant that moment was when we received just the right words to end the book. Peggy and I were together in her living room and we knew we had to put closure to the first book we'd write (the first book ever written on how to get organized from a reformed slob's perspective). Here's what we wrote to end that book.

It takes about 21 days of not eating sugar to transform your tongue into a tastebud-touting, pleasure producer. In 2011 Terry and I quit sugar by getting it out of our home and consequently our diet and it was a shock to both of us how sweet vegetables became after those 21 days. Fruit is so sweet it's like biting into a candy bar and whenever I've eaten cake or ice cream on rare occasions, they are sickenly sweet and I feel awful afterwards. In fact every time I've eaten sugar I get a hangover like I'd been on some kind of drinking binge.

You ought to try cutting sugar out of your diet for just 21 days and see if you aren't shocked too. 21 days, just three weeks, and by that time you'll have established a new habit and you won't miss sugar at all.

Here's a post that comes from a very happy eater and I wanted to share with you what she discovered.

This spring I decided to feed the birds peanuts. I put a big pile of nuts on our deck and they sat there unnoticed for days! When I thought about it, I realized I hadn't seen the birds that love peanuts (the Steller's Jays) for quite awhile and wondered if they'd been off on a winter vacation in Hawaii. 

Then a couple of weeks ago we had the Craig's (our neighbors) over for lunch and my conversation with Shay went something like this:

Me in a rather confrontational tone (Shay knew I was playing with her), "Are you, by any chance, feeding MY birds?"

Shay, "Uh, which ones?"

Me, "The Steller's."

Shay, "Well, uh, yeah."

Me, "What are you feeding them?"

"Peanuts."

"What time?"

"About 8:00 in the morning."

"So that's where they are! They're going over to your house and filling up on your nuts and they're not coming here. Do you call 'em?"

"Yeah, I whistle, do you?"

"No I can't whistle, but I use a shrill, very high-pitched voice and say, 'Come on birdies!'"

"Yeah, we've heard you."

Until we wise up, we tend to go to someone outside ourselves for help when the answers to most of our problems are within. You know that feeling that comes to you when you know something isn't right? That's a sign that you're always guided to do what's best for you, even though you don't always listen. 

Even when you don't listen, that's okay, because when you choose not to listen, your guidance will always show up again when you're in a similar need for guidance. Here's an example of not listening and then finally listening. 

Do you like to shop for spring clothes at Ross Dress for Less? Do you make the same mistake I make, if I'm not careful?

The other day I had a half hour to kill,  so I decided I’d go to Ross and just browse. I’m sure this isn’t right, but I do it often, especially at Ross; I buy something not because I really love it, but because its original price is horrifyingly high and the mark down is too good to pass up.

Think about how fun it is to start a new project when it's something you love to do? Say you love to knit, quilt, work on car motors or read your favorite author, as long as you love the action, chances are you'll enjoy the project. But what about those projects you don't necessarily like to do? How can we get the same emotional joy at the start of one of those projects and keep it going to the finish?

Somehow we have to find inspiration to do them. Motivation from someone worked when you were a child, and your mom got you to do things you didn't want to do by holding a consequence over your head. But now that you're an adult, it's a good idea to find ways to talk yourself into doing those things you don't really want to do, but should to make your life better. 

Limit watching the news and you'll be happier for it.

Back in 1929 when the stock market crashed, we didn’t have CNN or FOX or news on the Internet. Our grandparents (or great grandparents in some cases) didn’t get over-fed the news 24-7. They got a newspaper once a day (maybe) and they listened to the radio (maybe).

Because of this age of information we can be (if we choose) bombarded with bad news because the access is as close as our finger on the clicker or the mouse on our computer or the thumb on our phone. It’s one thing to be aware of what is going on in the world, our country and our community, but it’s quite another to watch the reruns and regurgitated opinions of “the experts” as they re-hash the re-runs while we click to another channel to watch the news covered from a different camera angle.

The GOOD NEWS is that to the media, the only newsworthy material is what is negative AND sensational. Dog Bites Man, is not “news.” Man Bites Dog (and don’t forget to put music behind the story) is. (I learned that from my journalist husband.) It is the extraordinary that makes “the news.” So most everything you see on the news is unusual and extraordinary. IT IS NOT THE NORM. But we in our naivety (or stupidity) allow our sweet minds to watch what happened not once but on the hour until the next day when the next batch of bad news is ready. How many times do you have to watch the bank robber caught on tape? Isn’t once enough?

We cause ourselves needless suffering

I know we’re human and most of us are naturally curious about bad news.

A good rule of your green thumb is Plan, Prepare, Purchase, Plant. If you try to prepare and plant at the same time, you’ll poop out and then those plants that you’ve taken into your care face possible death. Of course it’s not premeditated, but the plants will be just as dead.

 Death by good intention

Have you ever seen a honey bee that’s got so much pollen on her feet and thighs that she can barely fly? I often wonder if some of them never make it back to their hives they’re so overloaded. 

If you're the outdoorsy type you're probably excited for spring. No matter where you live, there's nothing like seeing a cloudy day clear up and having the sun come shining through the gloom and getting out in the fresh air.

April, here in the Pacific Northwest, gets a lot of rain, but we get used to it, or we move to someplace sunny. Most of us don't own umbrellas, well a few BOs (Born Organized) do, we just have easy hair dos that can get wet and we learn to dash, our speed depending on the severity of the rainfall. "Movie" rain is the only rain fall that keeps us inside. We're like the wild animals around here who don't worry about getting wet. 

Today was intermittent "movie" rain all day long. We built a fire and I pulled out my spring wardrobe and got out the ironing board. Then I turned on Pandora for some music. I was not prepared for what happened next.

We want to get organized for several reasons. We think that if we get organized, we’ll save time, money and energy. That’s true. Disorganization causes us to spend time looking for our stuff, more money because we buy stuff we already have but can’t find and energy just being overwhelmed, discouraged, and angry with ourselves.

By establishing just a few simple habits, we can train ourselves out of many of our messes and save time, money and energy. Our brains were wired for establishing habits, and when we have a healthy brain, it takes about 21 days to establish a habit. So I think it’s logical we should take care of our brains first.

That’s why I chose these 3 important habits to establish, because they’ll lead to health and a healthy body makes for a healthy brain and a healthy brain leads to well-being.

A Magical Date Night 

I pulled this blog out of my archives because as I read it, it inspired me to make date night special whenever I can. This particular night was in late summer and as I read about that night it melted the foggy, dreary, rainy day we have today and I hope it'll inspire plans in you for your next date.

Have you noticed that your married, women, friends who are organized, schedule a weekly date night? A weekly date is essential so you can remember why you married the guy in the first place. We're like computers and a date night is like re-booting and receiving updates.  

If you don't schedule it, you won't do it and you know what happens to a computer that isn't rebooted regularly. It bogs down.

A Magical Night

Our son gave us a gift certificate to Andina, a restaurant in Portland, Oregon. We used it for our weekly date night. 

Because we'd never heard of the place, we had no expectations. Turns out it’s rated as the best restaurant in Portland! Since we didn’t make reservations, we felt lucky to get a table for two even if it was in the bar and squished in between two other tables for two. The place was crowded and bursting with gaiety. The aroma of good food was pleasant torture as we salivated over dishes being brought to various tables around us as we tried to figure out the words on the big menu in Peruvian. There were descriptions of the dishes in English, but they didn’t really help that much. I chose:

ATÚN CON TACU TACU Y AGUAYMANTO

Seared yellow tuna sprinkled with black pepper and orange zest, (I was tracking so far) served with traditional lima bean tacu tacu, (I had to ask our waiter what tacu tacu was and he said it was smooshed lima beans; no wonder they decided to go with the tacu tacu verbiage) orange wedges, endive spears and salsa criolla, (I figured the criolla part meant hot and spicy and I was delightfully right about that) drizzled with a cape gooseberry-ají amarillo sauce (I was impressed that the gooseberries came from some cape maybe Cod or Canaveral, and I was pretty sure Amarillo was a liqueur I remember liking in my liqueur drinking days). The tuna was scrumptious and the mashed up lima beans were close to addictive.

What is it really with us women and our appearance? Do we want to look younger or just not look older? When we were children we wanted to be older, that’s why we’d answer, “I’m seven and a half.” But we didn’t think about wanting to look older. I remember being carded in my twenties because I looked younger than 21, but I didn’t have a desire to be or look older, because drinking wasn’t my thing and age really didn’t concern me.

However, at about 35, I started seeing the first signs of looking older, as daring, stray, gray hairs began sprouting at my temples. I paid the kids a penny a hair to pull them. By the time I was 55 my offspring had moved on to better paying jobs and besides if they’d still been willing to work for me, I’d be 2/3s bald.

At 60, I dyed my hair for the first time in my life, but after about four years I let my real color grow out and the gray took over. I also got tired of hearing a wolf whistle, turning around and shocking the life out of some young guy who thought he was going to get the attention of a young chickie only to find an old lady glaring at him. I actually prefer being a “Q-Tip” (that's an appropriate name to describe a person with white hair) because the wolf whistles have stopped and I am officially invisible to the wolves. It’s a good thing. 

One thing we all learn, as we age, is that life changes and we don’t see it happen, because it happens so gradually. The older we get, we realize how important it is to enjoy every single day to the max. When we were growing up, we were too busy raising our families to think much about savoring each day. Most of our younger years are a blur of hard work, chaos, fatigue and a lot of noise. Gratitude is the major aspect to enjoying each day.

We notice the changes when we look back on photos taken when we were younger, and can think, ‘I looked good. I looked young then, so why did I think I looked old? Why was I so hard on myself?’ Most of the younger women I know are so hard on themselves and I wish I could hug them and remind them that they look just fine. You young moms, be easy with yourselves. Everything’s okay.

Here’s a thought. No matter how old you are, if you want to look ten years younger instantly, the next time you get into a discussion about age, say that you're ten years older than you are and watch the compliments flow to you! If you laughed at my joke, think about what you do to get people to think you are younger than you are. My "real" advice is next.

ONE THING

Have you learned the valuable lesson that when you get treated poorly, it never has anything to do with you? It’s not a real easy lesson because it's so easy to take unkindness personally, especially when it’s directed right at you. Those who have this lesson learned are happier than those who don’t. They are able to let unkindness roll off like they’d be if they’d been through the “wax” part in a car wash. Just think about the times you've gotten mad at your kid or your husband and you did it in a mean way. Do you feel bad after that? None of us wants to be mean spirited but sometimes it comes out that way because we're off. Our natural state is wellbeing but when we don't take care of ourselves and get enough sleep, food, water, fresh air and exercise, we can wonk out on our natural state of goodness.

Let's say you have been primarily responsible for doing the laundry in your home and you haven't been doing it in an organized manner, wash, dry, fold, put-away. So while there may be a clean pile somewhere (probably on the couch or in a big chair) and perhaps a load that's been washed but is still in the washer and needs to be dried, you can count on inevitable chaos at dressing time for you and members of your family.

It's far more important to get laundry organized than it is to make your bed or dust. So maybe it's time to nail this once and for all.

Author of Get Organized Books runs out of Gas! 

If you're a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) you can understand how easy it could be to run out of gas and how logical it could be to blame it on a bunch of baby goats! So here's my story.

I can't tell you where we went because I'm sworn to secrecy, but I'll get to tell you some time down the road. For now it's a secret. What I can tell you is what happened at this secret location.

The day started out early in the morning as we drove to Oregon and then up I-84 which goes through the Columbia River Gorge. My heart was broken as we drove through the huge expanse of hillsides once covered in lush old-growth evergreen trees, now scorched and devastated by the wildfire that was started by a teenager last summer.

We live 50 miles from the fire and yet we had to stay inside many days because of the smoke. The skeletons of huge cedars, furs and pines stretched for miles-upon -miles. I cried as it seemed to never end.   

Once out of the forest we headed south on some little two-laner and promptly lost our GPS which was our planned source of direction. The next three hours Terry (my husband) drove and I prayed we were going the right way. We saw the word gulch at least ten times, but I can't remember their specific names. They were like, Frog Gulch, Big Thumb Gulch, Little Indian Gulch, names like that. 

When we arrived at our destination we were invited to lunch at the owner of the "secret" ranch's home. It was a very interesting home, huge and elegant, yet ranchy. For example we sat at a dining table for 20 and one whole wall was floor to ceiling windows looking out over, you guessed it, a horse room as big as a football field.

...you're ready to have one. If you don't live in an organized home, it means one thing, you weren't ready to get organized. Most of us want an organized home, but many struggle with disorganization because we can tend to build it up in our minds that it's a huge undertaking. It's really not. 

When every room is HOURS or DAYS away from "company ready" and I HAVE BEEN THERE, it can easily be overwhelming and in that state of mind we can freeze, bust out of the place or retreat under the covers. All those actions make things worse.

I’ve thought a lot about that feeling of being overwhelmed and I know it’s a state of mind based on true facts and circumstances. But the good news is states of mind can be changed even when the true facts and circumstances haven't. In fact if you’re overwhelmed by a messy house, obesity, indebtedness, an inharmonious marriage, whatever, you have the power to change your mind right now. In fact that’s what needs to happen. But how do you change your mind when you're in the middle of a huge mess, not just in one room but every room?

Very frequently I hear from SHEs (Sidetracked Home Executive) lamenting that they wish they'd used the SHE 3x5 get organized system for home and family earlier. My answer is always the same, you weren't ready and until you're ready you won't use it. It's interesting to find out how much these precious women have achieved in spite of their disorder! It's testimony to how talented we SHEs really are. Here's an excerpt from "The Joy of Being Disorganized" that conveys this thought.

Okay, I’m not a marriage counselor so I probably shouldn’t be going around giving advice to married couples, especially since I’m on my second marriage and so is my husband, but the idea of letting a little gin improve your marriage is really a good one at least for Terry and me and I thought I’d share with you why it is.

You probably should know that Terry is a workaholic because that’s one of the reasons I came up with this idea in the first place. He’s never without his cell phone or IPAD and he looks at weekends as catch up days to finish all the work he didn’t accomplish during the week because of overbooking. It seems when each day comes to an end, his “to do” list is longer because for every task he crosses off, he adds a couple more jobs.

My mouth gets me into more trouble than any other hole in my body. Sometimes it’s because of what comes out of it, but mostly it’s been because of what goes in. That’s why the title to one of my books is “The Mouth Trap: the butt stops here!”

"Unless you’re hooked up to an intravenous feeding contraption that continues to pump too much food into your system, the size of your body is entirely due to your mouth’s ability to open and let the food that has made you weigh more than you like, to come in and “accumulate.”  (Except from The Mouth Trap.)

If you just died, what would you have liked to have been doing today before it happened? Who would you have wanted to be with? What would you have liked to have eaten? What music would you have liked to have been listening to? Where would you have liked to be?

Perhaps the answers to these questions could give you a few clues as to what you should be doing as soon as possible. So many women have a hard time nailing what it is that they want. That’s probably because they spend so much time caring for others; their children, older parents and husbands.

A few years ago my son Michael and his wife Meredith were invited by the FOX network to go to the Super Bowl and Terry and I were invited to babysit the two grandchildren Jack age eight and Brooklyn age eleven. I have such fun with these two! (They're probably 2 and 5 in this photo of them taking a "dry" bath.).

The first night we were with them, when it was bedtime they both wanted me to tell them a bedtime story. Since they slept in separate rooms I sat in the hallway with the light on so they could both see me if they sat up and it was easy for them to hear me. I love to make up bedtime stories because I never know what I’m going to say myself. I guess I should say Nelly (my inner child) loves to hear 

my stories or maybe she’s the one who makes them up? Whatever, I love to do it.

Here's the story:

Rabbit Ears, Elephants, and Donkeys

December 1, 1963, we were on the second day of our honeymoon, traveling from Vancouver, Washington to southern California. We’d borrowed my parent’s car, a 1963 Ford Galaxie. They wanted us to be “safe” and our car was a ’49 Ford that didn’t show promising signs it could even get to the Oregon border let alone to the southern end of California.

The new car had a bench-type seat instead of bucket seats in the front and seat belts weren’t the law in 1963, consequently this car didn’t have them. We’d stopped at a service station to get gas in Pixley, California and it was my turn to drive, so my 6 ft. husband got in the backseat because I had to have the front seat forward as far as it would go in order to reach the pedals. I’m 5’2.”

It was dark when we got back on the road and the freeway was full of Thanksgiving, holiday travelers. As I drove on the on ramp to Highway 99, I could see it wasn’t going to be easy to merge as cars weren’t moving over to let me in and certainly slowing down is never an option for drivers flowing with the speed of traffic. I came to a full stop about 25 feet from the oncoming traffic and was waiting for a semi to pass when I heard my husband scream, “It’s going to hit us!!” as he reached around me from the back seat and cranked the steering wheel to the right (I had the wheel straight ahead to merge onto the freeway).

T'was the day before...

The day before Valentine's Day a few years ago, my husband Terry asked me what I thought of having our friends the Lapslys and Geocks over for dinner and to play cards on Valentine’s Day. “It’d sorta be a spur of the moment affair,” he said.

Since I love spur of the moment events and I have a passion for cooking, entertaining and playing cards, I jumped at the thought.

My husband is so considerate -

Terry emailed the two guys (no formal invites) and both of them got right back to him. I got busy planning the evening. I pulled out all my Valentine decorations and set a table with red candles in see- through red goblets with different length stems.

We really had a great time! I served a rack of pork and my recipe for Almost Carbohydrate Free Almond Bread and a Caesar Salad. After dinner I went into the kitchen and overheard one of the guys say to Terry, “Thanks for saving my ___. I’d entirely forgotten about Valentine’s Day!“ “Yeah, I forgot until two days ago when I invited you guys,” I heard Terry reply.

- and sneaky!

Did you know breads and grains turn into sugar?

Eating sugar in all its sneaky forms spikes your insuline and that's one of the main reasons our bodies store fat. Lower your intake of sugar in all of its tricky forms and you'll lose weight. 

In this cooking video you'll see how easy these tortillas are to make.

No flour. Low carbs. And they're delicious.

The Cleaner Guy is my nephew Jeffrey Jones. He offered to do these cleaning videos because I wanted a cute guy to show everybody how to clean the house. He was so kind fo volunteer! We had so much fun with this series and even though I've run them all before, we have so many new members, I'll just keep re-running them! Today's he's in my kitchen.

Excerpt from “The Sidetracked Sister’s Happiness File.”

From Pam: In our first book we worked out a weekly plan. Each day was devoted to a certain kind of activity. Included was a “free” day in which we could do whatever we wanted to do. But we’ve since realized that to tell a basically disorganized person just to do whatever she wants is meaningless.

When we developed the Happiness File we made a list of all the things we loved to do, the simple things that made us happy. We want you to make your own list of “love to do” things. It is the same as the list of things you made for your spouse in the February chapter, only this is a list of your loves. Sometimes we get so busy that we don’t take the time to do the things we love to do. It helps greatly to make a list. Decide how often you would like to do each thing and incorporate this frequency factor into your card file so that you can follow through.

Most of us want to get organized for several reasons. We think that if we get organized, we’ll save time, money and energy. That’s true. Disorganization causes us to spend time looking for our stuff, more money because we buy stuff we already have but can’t find and energy just being overwhelmed, discouraged, and angry with ourselves.

By establishing just a few simple habits, we can train ourselves out of many of our messes and save time, money and energy. Our brains were wired for establishing habits, and when we have a healthy brain, it takes about 21 days to establish a habit. So I think it’s logical we should take care of our brains first.

That’s why I chose these 3 important habits to establish, because they’ll lead to health and a healthy body makes for a healthy brain and a healthy brain leads to well-being.

Snacks at the Movies Too Expensive?

With the Academy Award nominations announced, does it make you want to go to the movies and see some of those films in the theater? We’ve seen a couple of them, but the cost of treats and tickets will soon be cutting into our vacation budget even though we’re senior citizens getting a break on the cost of our tickets!

For example, yesterday we would have spent $51.68 if we’d purchased popcorn, soft drinks and candy! As it was we paid $42 because we had water instead of sodas and we didn’t get candy. It got me to thinking about how to save money at the movies, by sneaking in your treats.

Do you frequently have a friend or family member whom you love, come into your mind and you think, ‘I should call so-in-so’ and then you don’t, but then the loved one calls you? It'd be good to call your friends often because chances are if you're thinking of them, they're thinking of you.

The other day I’d been thinking about Bernice, my friend in Fresno and because we hadn’t talked in several years I sort of was worried that maybe she was dead (you have to start thinking that way when your friends get old and Bernice is 84). She and I were friends from the church we were members of, and we remained friends after I moved to Washington 42 years ago. I’d been thinking about her for several days and had promised myself I’d call her before the day was over. Bernice is one of those senior citizens who hasn’t even dipped her toe into the 21^st century as far as cell phones, Facebook, Google and such are concerned. I’ve tried to talk her into getting a smart phone or a computer but it was always like trying to talk a slug into running.

So back to the day when I talked to her; the phone rang and it went like this.

Ring, ring, ring?

“Hello?’

“Hi Pam this is Bernice.”

“Oh, my goodness! I’ve been thinking about you and honest I was going to call you today! It’s sooo good to hear your voice!!!! HOW ARE YOU?!!!!!” (I was so delighted to hear her voice my energy level was up there as if she’d been raised from the dead.)

How can that be when I'm only 45? (Okay, I feel as if I'm 45.)

When McKenzie, my first grandchild was born 23 years ago (my youngest daughter Joanna's child) I was stunned by the experience. I was honored to be at the birth and had one of the major shocks of my life; I loved that infant with the identical love I had for her mother when she was born. Being a grandmother was one of those surprise perk events God has up her sleeve. 

When it came to wondering what my "gramma" name would be, I really didn't care. I called my grandma on my dad's side Gramma Dot and my mom's mother was Granny. I decided I'd just wait and see what name McKenzie would give me when when she started talking. She named me Ila, pronounced eye lah.

Last week I was invited to go to lunch with McKenzie and Joanna and at the lunch I was informed that I’m going to be a great grandmother in July! The news lit up the table at the Applebees we were in like news that North Korea is going to be nice now!

When I got organized in the late seventies, I decided to keep it a secret from my husband, kids, parents and best friend. I’d read that when you want to make an important transitional change in your life, keep it to yourself and wait for “them” to come to you and say, “What’s happened to you?” or ”You seem happier and you’re always on time lately, what’s up?”

What I discovered by keeping my mouth shut on my plans was I had more energy! There was a certain excitement in “my secret.” Also, those closest to us have heard us talk about needing to change, wanting to change and planning to change, so to make a chronic announcement, “This year, I’m going to get organized,” “lose weight” or “budget and get out of debt,” your friends and family are liable to say, “Yeah, sure Martha, what’s new?”

I also think there is power in sharing your intentions with those who have the same goal. I’m so thankful for the platform I've been able to create so we can help each other and share our triumphs as well as our failings. I’m just talking about keeping it a secret from our loved ones, until the results start to show up.

“Before you say or do anything when entertaining, consider saying it or doing it in front of your daughter.” Advice given to comedians by Phil Rosenthal, the creator of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” That is good advice even when we're not entertainers.

What an honorable thought. That premise reflects on Phil’s work. He’s not only a great comedy writer, but he’s a good family man with a wife and kids. He also has a fun new series on Netflix called, “Somebody Feed Phil.” It’s a documentary, food/travel show chock full of Phil’s humor and stars him. It’s very entertaining and worth watching as he eats his way around the world. I am NOT a traveler, but the first episode we watched had me dying to go to Bangkok! That is saying a lot folks!

There’s a huge difference between a drastic transformation and change that takes place as gracefully and gradually as a baby turns into a toddler. But when we’re fed up with our old ways we tend to want an instant and dramatic fix. That’s what impatience is all about. Take weight for example, we want the weight to come off faster than we put it on. We get frustrated with a loss of just one pound in a week, yet if we gained a pound a week, we’d gain 52 pounds in a year. I don’t know anyone who’s done that and you probably don’t either.

If you’re like me, you tend to have that notion: All or nothing at all. When we want to get organized usually we’ve come to a place where every room is laced with chaos. When we decide to fix our finances it’s when the power’s been shut off or we max a few credit cards and sink into financial depression. When we want to lose weight it’s usually because we’ve let it go so long that our pants hurt and we’re scared to get on the scale. We’re sort of like the frog that stays in the water as it is heated to boiling and cooks to death, only we don't cook to death, we snap.

Everyone has an inner child, but not everyone is aware of it. Your inner child has been with you since you grew up and if you haven't been aware of her, you're in for a treat! 

Three of my books deal with problems I've faced in my life; being in debt, being over weight and being disorganized. My unique, fun-loving approach to solving these challenges have to do with getting to know the child that resides in me.

Do you sense that if, right now, your body weighed what it weighed in high school, you'd feel better than you do? Just think back for a minute about your body in high school. Can you remember how fun it was to be active in it? It was flexible and it loved to be frisky and run, jump and dance. 

The older we are the more we seem to have time on our sides. No you read that right. Sides. Time meaning a length of time to collect fat. For most of us it's a gradual collection over the years. The collecting is surprisingly gradual! For example, if you gained just one pound a year, you'd weigh 25 pounds more at your 25th high school class reunion, 50 pounds more at your 50th. One pound a year! That's only 1.3 ounces a month!!!

Did you make a New Year's Resolution? The reason we make them is we want something to change and we think the change will make us feel better. Really we want to be happy. We feel better when we’re happy. Abraham Hicks said, “A happy life is just a collection of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.” So we make resolutions to improve in the desire to lead to a happier life and we can miss all the yummy, happy moments that occur in spite of our resolutions.

Here it is the second week in January and by now many people have not been able to keep the resolutions they made on New Year’s Eve. Congratulations to you if you’re still on track with your resolve! But if you’re starting to fall off that resolve wagon, it’s really not that big of a deal and it’s not too late to put an addendum on it! You have a choice jump off the wagon or stay on with some help. 

Do you love the thought of "getting away?" A Great Get Away catches our attention! Much of our desire to get away on vacation is to subconsciously get away from our stuff. At the resort it’s easier to forget about the garage that’s filled leaving the car to live in the drive-way. When you’re eating out in restaurants on vacation it’s easier to forget about the outdated food in your pantry and the cupboards filled with stuff you don’t cook with or eat on. When you go to bed in a hotel room it’s easier to forget about your closets filled with old linens, tired towels and clothes you can’t fit into. When you're distracted by new surroundings it's easy to forget about the attic crammed with sentimental stuff that’s boxed up waiting for you to be sentimental over it. Clutter creates stress. Stress makes you want to get away! So if you could eliminate clutter, maybe you wouldn’t want to get away!